The Moon's Redamancy In Fall [Tsukishima x Yamaguchi]

fifty-one.

Tsukishima

I'm fucking exhausted.

And I miss Yamaguchi so much.

It's the third time since he'd push me away. But why would he kiss me back? Why would he kiss me if he didn't want it? I didn't know Yamaguchi was this complicated not until I showed him how I really feel towards him and I thought he was all about me expressing what I feel.

What I feel for him isn't just lust and if he really love Yachi then why would he give in so easily?

Questioning myself about Yachi makes me feel like a bad person, which I guess I am. I will never know until I force the answer out of Yamaguchi of what he really feels towards me.

Today was an exhausting day because I was stupid enough to go all out during practice only because I wanted to get Yamaguchi's attention but I was surprised how the tables had turned by him getting my full attention in one snap.

Damn, how could he not take the hint. Was giving him a handjob not enough to express my feelings? He perfectly knows that I can't express what I feel that easily.

People tell you not to fall for someone close to you, that it's messy and risky and heartbreaking, but the truth is Yamaguchi was able to prove to me that love doesn't choose any gender or relationships.

Yamaguchi had that aura like I've been wanting to fall in love so hard that I'd jump in blindly, even though it's scary, even though there's a chance that everything will go wrong.

Being afraid to lose Yamaguchi is how I know he's worth fighting for. Because if things go right, it will be the best relationship I've ever had, and I'll finally understand what it means to have a forever person.

I've never been so hopelessly romantic towards a person but only to Yamaguchi, so fuck it and fall in love with your best friend, because no one will love you like someone who already knows how to.

Love is a tricky matter. It's impossible to unlove someone once you do.

I walked towards our house's gate and took my earphones off, placing them neatly in my bag before staring at the gate.

Another day of suffering at the Tsukishima's residence, I stood there and waited for a few seconds, hesitating to come in. With every hope that's left in me, I prayed Akihiro's not home. I took the cold brass knob in my hand, twisting it to open, but it didn't twist.

It's locked?

I peered over the window and the lights were off, even by the kitchen. Where is everybody? I grabbed my phone in my pocket and tried dialing Akiteru's number. I suddenly felt anxious.

Where is mom? Where is Akiteru? My mom doesn't usually go out because she's still recovering from the accident.

Fuck. Did something happened again?

I chewed on the bottom of my lip in nervousness as I start to fidget to where I stood. Akiteru's not answering his phone. Fuck. I typed in a few words to send him but it seem like I couldn't compose a proper text my eyes haunted by some inner anxiety.

I could hear my heartbeat when I started to feel nauseous, scuffling on the wooden floor as I held my phone over my ear, Akiteru's phone was ringing but he's not answering. Terror gripped my heart, a chill running down my spine when the call dropped after ten seconds of ringing.

I scrutinize the porch to look for a spare key, I took my phone in my shaky hands to use my flashlight for me to see better, when I pointed it over the welcome mat, I saw a note.

Wait, a note?

Is Akiteru fucking dumb, why would he leave a note here? Why didn't he just text me? Where the fuck is he, anyway? I quickly grabbed the note to read it, my anxiety taking over, making my hands shook violently and growing cold and clammy.

I tilt my head to the side as confusion started to draw in my head. What the fuck?

"Backyard. Now."

Huh?

My frame slumped down, a little relaxed from over the minute of panicking, I frowned as I withdraw from the porch to walk over the gate leading to our backyard. As I walk closer, a faint yellow light could be seen, anxiousness and anticipation suddenly made my heart leap to my throat.

When I finally reached the backyard, my eyes trailed around the backyard just to witness a bunch of food set up on a mini table, my eyes dropping down the strawberry cake placed neatly by table, draping with white cloth and ribbons when I saw Akihiro, my mom in a wheelchair and Akiteru standing with their wide, proud grins below a huge fucking banner with huge letters printed on it.

"Happy Coming Out, Kei!"

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

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FILLER CHAPTER UWU