St. Boniface Vikings (Part 1)

Nolan Goes to College

Nolan decided to be a college man at St. Boniface University, but his cousins Paul, Grady, Ed, Fran, Bill, Mick, Roy, Fred, Karl, Milt, Gary and Dave had already done it.

Now a college student, Nolan is under the impression that it will be like a cliché college comedy, where it is his duty to hassle nerds and stand up to the overbearing old fuddy-duddy dean. In fact, there is no jock/nerd enmity at St. Boniface University, and the dean, Robert Peterson, is a young, hip, laid-back, go-getter—completely non-stereotypical—who plays bass guitar and encourages the students to call him by his first name. However, this doesn't stop Nolan from nurturing a resentment for the dean.

Nolan also delights in hassling the ever-patient Nuclear Physics Professor, and causes a meltdown in class when the professor asks him to demonstrate how a proton accelerator works. Dean Peterson then assigns Nolan to supplemental tutoring, and Nolan meets the nerd trio of Benjamin, Doug, and Greg.

In an effort to get the nerds to loosen up and live a little, Nolan plans to take the nerds on a road trip with several cases of beer. His plan fizzles when Marva Lynn makes him take Kevin and Lisa along and they end up going to a petting zoo, but Marla Lynn, Kyle and Laurie stays home with Delphine and Walburga. Nolan's next idea is to pull a prank, and Kevin helps them to plan the kidnapping of Sir Oinks-A-Lot, the pig mascot. They bring the pig back to St. Boniface University, and Nolan gets the pig drunk (and sick) by splitting a case of malt liquor with him. Dean Peterson catches Nolan with the drunken pig, and the dean expels Nolan for life.

Marva Lynn told the nerds to get out as Nolan is already expelled from college. But the twelve cousins were upset about Nolan.