St. Boniface Vikings (Part 1)

Kevin the Lover

A yo-yo craze sweeps through St. Boniface Elementary School, much to the sixth grade teacher's annoyance. At the same time, she is feeling increasingly lonely and places a personal ad in the newspaper, ending with "Object: SAVE ME." Kevin, who has been given one month of suspension for breaking the classroom fish tank with a yo-yo, discovers the ad and, realizing it is her choses to pull a prank and respond by mail with a new alter-ego. Kevin pretends to be an adult male called "Gordie" after ice hockey player Gordie Howe. For romantic writing to send to the sixth grade teacher, Kevin borrows a couple of lines from Nolan's old love letters to Marva Lynn, then watches old movies as inspiration for more writing. A chain of romantic correspondence follows, where the teacher sends Gordie a sexy photo of herself and Kevin reciprocates by sending her a picture of ice hockey player Gordie Howe, claiming that it is a photo of Gordie.

Meanwhile, Marva Lynn notices that Santa's Little Helper needs a new dog house. She wants to buy one, but Nolan says that he can save money by building one instead. His infuriating attempts at constructing the dog house cause him to curse loud enough for Mike Thelen, Kevin's friend to overhear. At the boys night out at the living room, watching Casablanca starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. Mick is upset when he hears Mike say "hell no" and "damn" at the dinner table, he told Mike not to read the bible, and not to come back with bad word saying, Mike said that his mom's going to have triplets.

The sixth grade teacher takes the next step, asking if she and Gordie can meet in person, have dinner, and return to her apartment for some "home cookin.'" Kevin, as Gordie, writes a letter making a date to meet for dinner, and she is excited at the prospect of meeting Gordie. Kevin, however, has no intention of keeping the date, and while she waits in vain for Gordie at the restaurant, Kevin goes to the movies. Later, he comes out of the movie theater, laughing after watching a movie, and then feels guilty when he sees her crying while sitting at a table by herself.

At night when Nolan claims that it's too late for him to stop swearing, Marva Lynn disagrees and reveals her own experience with her father, while she was growing up:

When he got out of the Navy, he developed a swearing problem that was so bad it almost cost him job as a baby photographer. So to curtail it, Marva Lynn's mother made a "Swear Jar" and had him put money in it every time he said a curse word.

Nolan promises to put money in a "swear jar" -- 25 cents for each curse. However before going to bed, he asks Marva Lynn some questions just to understand the ground rules. Nolan's constant cursing rapidly fills the jar, although he does gradually curse less and less. Eventually, Nolan becomes frustrated while building a doghouse. Marva Lynn, Marla Lynn and Lisa then surprise Nolan with a brand new doghouse, easily bought and paid for with the money from the swear jar. They have an added bonus, a Beer as a gift for Nolan for his commitment in curtailing the use of swear words.

Kevin is still suspending for one month, Paul, Grady, Ed, Fran, Bill, Mick, Roy, Fred and Karl were upset because of Nolan's swear.