What Should Have Been From The Beginning

A Settlement

DEREK'S POV

I felt a sharp pain, penetrate my abdomen. I crunched, trying to figure out what had caused the pain and then realised what it was. I was laid on my back and Meredith had been laid on her side with one of her legs of the top of my body. She was what caused that sharp pain as she stirred and moved to get more comfortably wrapped around me but when she was doing so, she jabbed her elbow into my stomach and from still being in a deep sleep, she hadn't realised. Knowing it was her, suddenly made me forget the pain and I watched as she got comfortable again. I rested my hand on the side of her head whilst she settled and I pulled the blanket over her as well as holding her tighter, to make keep warm. I was obsessed with everything about her. Her cute little button nose that homed her nostrils and they flared slightly whenever she breathed. Her perfect complexion that resembled the features on a porcelain doll. Her smell which now lingered on my clothes from how much I had hugged her. Every time I looked at her lips, I could feel them on mine. She's a great kisser, I thought to myself, and chuckled quietly as I thought, trying not to wake her. I failed at that though. She groaned when waking up and turning her head so that the other side of her face was on my chest and our eyes were now in each others view. She bat her eyelashes as she adjusted to the light that was coming through the window. 

'Good morning.' I spoke. I leant up, administering a kiss onto her lips. She didn't move but did return a kiss and she said,

'This feels good.' With a smile across her face, not showing her teeth, she continued. 'Waking up with you. With me on top of you. It's exactly what I want.' 

'I love you.' I softly told her and I meant it with everything I had. We took a minute to be in each others presence and wander through each other's eyes until Meredith began shutting hers again and falling back asleep. Before she could, I woke her up.

'It's only 5am and we fell asleep on the sofa, so do you want me to take you up to bed and you can have another hour before we have to get ready?' She nodded half asleep and I picked her up and carried her to bed. I placed her under the covers, shut the blinds, tucked her in and covered her up.

'Wake me up in an hour please.' She mumbled. I left the room and began preparing what we needed for the week in Italy and the flight. I walked down the stairs being as quiet as possible and picked up my phone as it began to ring. The number didn't appear to be memorable and I didn't have it stored in my phone so I answered curious to who was ringing at this hour and what for.

'Hello, this is Derek Shepherd.'

'Yes I know who it is otherwise I wouldn't be calling.'

I knew exactly who it was as soon as they spoke. I threw my head back knowing I couldn't be bothered dealing with this coming conversation.

'Jennifer, what do you want and why are you calling me at this time?'

'Well I went to change the seats on the flight that was meant to be our honeymoon, to first class but the card was declined. So I rang the bank and asked why and they said that there had been an huge transaction already at a jewellers and that I couldn't use it for a certain amount of time.'

'That isn't even your card so why were you trying to use it?' 

'Well I just thought since you ruined the wedding you could at least pay for the flights.'

By this point I was furious at her for two reasons. One for assuming I should pay and two because she had no right to question how I had spent my money.

'That isn't your card so don't use it and how did you even try to pay with it?'

'You gave me the details when we were initially paying for the honeymoon. Who was the necklace for Derek? Her?' She questioned me.

'First off, it's not a necklace and secondly, if you use that card I will sue you.'

'Oh so it's a ring?'

She was more bothered by what I had bought rather than the fact I said I would sue her if she used my card. This is exactly what I didn't need or want to happen. The relationship had turned sour and I knew if Meredith found out about this, it was going to get into her head and then she'd overthink everything. I wanted the woman out of my life for good. 

'Yes, it's a ring. Okay? I'm proposing to Meredith. You don't need to be involved in our lives anymore so I tell you what, if I pay for these seats, you'll get on that flight, enjoy your time and never talk to me or Meredith again unless it involves work. Understood?'

She replied with a sarcastic tone, 'sounds perfect.' She continued on in a more serious tone. 'And I wont be speaking to either of you. I'm transferring to Mayo, out of that hell hole.' I wanted to feel this huge weight off of my chest knowing that she would be finally out of our lives but I couldn't. I had been so worried about Meredith finding out and freaking out, but now I was the one who was overthinking. I was petrified at the thought of her leaving. I ended the phone call abruptly, rang the bank, confirmed the payment and prayed to God that Meredith hadn't heard any of what had just happened. It wasn't a deal paying for the seats but I didn't want her thinking she could do whatever the hell she wanted. I also decided to change my bank details whilst on the phone to the bank so there couldn't be the risk of her using it for anything again. I walked up stairs forgetting about organising anything and comforted myself. I laid besides the woman I love, lifting her up and over my forearm so that I was cuddling her. She moved as she felt my presence, backing her body into mine making it so that we were spooning.  I didn't plan on falling asleep, I definitely wasn't tired now but I just wanted to hold her. I calmed my thoughts of Mei and improved on myself in a short while. I told myself that she wasn't going to be a problem anymore. Me and Meredith were going to live our lives together but first have this perfect, uninterrupted week in Italy. As I watched her breathing, monitoring her chest move up and down, I acknowledged that this woman, wrapped between me, had made me vulnerable and the softest person on this Earth. I had never been so in love with anything. Not even the job I lived and breathed for. Her presence immediately brought me serenity and peace and she cleared my thoughts.