What Should Have Been From The Beginning

Revisiting the Past One Last Time

The day had arrived where we were to face my attacker in person since the horror. As it was imagined, I felt sick to my stomach every time the clock handle moved and the time got closer. I genuinely had no idea of how I would feel or react when face to face with him but what I was certain of was that this time, I had Derek every step of the way. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Derek was feeling right now, knowing that he would have to be in the same room as the predator that attacked his pregnant fiancé, and not be able to punch his lights out. All the anger that I felt when it first happened and that had his itself until today, gathered in me again and I hoped with everything I had that he got what he deserved. Little did I know that there was about to be a huge shock in less than two hours.

Derek woke up before me and had already made breakfast by the time I woke. The smell of bacon and pancakes swamped my senses and I headed downstairs still in my pyjamas.

'Morning you.'

'Good morning.' I replied to a smiley, husky and the delightful sight of Derek.

'You ready for today?'

'I'm not sure someone could ever be ready for this but I'm ready to cut all ties with this part of our story.' He didn't ask me to hurt me or make me any more nervous than I already clearly was but he did it because then I knew he wasn't walking on eggshells around me. 'Are you?'

'I think I'd be more ready if I good wrap my hands around his throat.'

'If you could you would.'

'I'd do more than that if I could.' He looked at me with a plate in his hand and his eyes had a wide amount of love in them, projecting into the air.

Breakfast was demolished by the both of us and we were now wearing more clothes than we were last night that's for sure. Derek was in a suit, which he looked so dapper in, and myself in a grey midi dress that hugged my body and kept my modesty at the same time. It was clear that we were fit for a court room and it was unusual to not be wearing loose-fitted, airy scrubs. I couldn't wait to be back inside those light blue clothes though, even after an hour of being dressed, I wanted in my normal attire.

'Come on Meredith, we're gonna be late if we don't set off now.' Derek yelled at me from downstairs as he heard my heels run across the hallway. I needed the bathroom so bad and I knew I needed it before we got to the courthouse. I finished my business and waddled back to my man waiting downstairs. As I walked down the steps, a smile grew bigger and bigger the more Derek came into sight. His perfect hair and his hunky body, complimented that suit so well and I knew that the next time he would probably be in a full on suit like this, would be our wedding day. The only difference being, that on our wedding day, I'd be walking to him, in a white dress and whole load of people watching too.

'Good. You're done. Quickly, get in the car but don't run cos the least we need right now is you to break an ankle.'

'I can run in heels you know. I'm not 8 months pregnant.' After realising what I'd just said, I closed my mouth, shocked that that had so easily slipped out in my words and saw Derek just give me the 'not the time or day' look. I swung back around to head out of the door and was guided by Derek's hand in between my shoulder blades after he'd locked up.

The journey was natural and effortless. There was no tension or awkwardness, nothing out of the ordinary about a journey in this car together. My hand caressed Derek's the entire ride and they both rested on top of my thigh. We talked about everything and everyone, and what this event would bring. What to expect was a complete unknown but we reassured each other constantly, that this was the end and we were there for each other every single second. After a 40 minute travel the courthouse doors were visible to both of us and before we knew it we'd parked up and were now stood feet from the court room entrance. I was shaking and swinging my leg on my heel as we nervously waited outside. The whole time Derek and I stood hand in hand and each second that we would see someone come out, I would feel his grip tighten around my hand. I wasn't nervous that we wouldn't win the case and he wouldn't be sentenced because I knew there was enough evidence and the fact that the police had barged in whilst I was the way I was, gave us a pretty good shot at getting justice, I was nervous to have to recall every event and the trauma that would remain in the front of my mind for however long.

'Meredith Grey.' My name was called by a young, black woman dressed in a robe and as it was tens of people stood up along with me and Derek. They were the jury and other officials there to witness the sentence and we all began taking steps into the room. We were seated randomly and we both sat in the front, with full view of the attacker and in direct view of him. My palms were sweaty and I hadn't yet seen him. I couldn't bring myself to lift my eyesight and reveal the past but once Derek's hand tan across my knee, I knew it was okay and he had. If he had I could, I thought to myself. He was strong enough so I was, was what I kept reassuring myself of as my eyes connected with the eyes of a face I never ever wanted to see again. I felt sick to my stomach the entire time. The sight of him made me shudder and cringe and I repeatedly went to Derek for comfort every time  a word was mentioned about the ordeal.