What Should Have Been From The Beginning

An Ounce of Hope

DEREK'S POV

I immediately left the Chief's office and as quickly as I could, arrived in the Intern's locker room to find Meredith calmly sat on the bench, taking out her coffee cup from her purse. As the door opened, she instantly bolted her head towards the noise and took a sigh of relief when she realised it was me.

'You okay, love?' 

'Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. It just felt like you were gone forever. Is everything okay with the Chief?' She naturally asked. I sat on the bench beside her whilst she pulled her stethoscope from her locker. 

'He knows about what happened and said it was completely acceptable for you to be on my service.' Her eyes shone solaces out of them once I mentioned that.

'I don't even know if I'm allowed to be working because of the exam results but I can't just sit here doing nothing.' Coincidentally, once she had finished her sentence Richard walked in behind us and handed Meredith a letter. He was expressing sympathy clearly through everyway he could. His posture and mannerisms. His tone of voice and through his facial expressions. With it only being the three of us in the room, there was a sense of awkwardness and the fact that nobody knew what to say only added to that. Webber broke the silence eventually. 

'Your results are in there. Just open them whenever you want.' He then left us alone once more, leaving with a sympathetic, subtle, small smile toward Meredith.

Her bottom sat on the bench again and she handed me the letter. I could see pure fear in her eyes and the unnecessary thoughts drowning her mind over all others. 

'You have to open it. I can't.'

'Meredith you know that whatever is in here will never make me love you any less.' She nodded her head slightly whilst glaring at the envelope. I let go of her hand, opened the seal and pulled out a slip of paper. I traced each word with my eyes until I came to the words that meant the most.

'I never ever doubted you.' I told her and watched a huge grin appear across her face. My lips finally met hers and for the first time since the incident, we shared a long, passionate encounter. Our noses hugged and her long eyelashes batted on the bridge of my cheek as our faces were closer than ever, together. She pulled away but quickly pecked my lips again after providing a view of her eyes that did that sparkly thing that made me fall in love with her all over again. 

'You're doing the sparkly eye thing.' I exclaimed with a cheesy grin.

'What sparkly eye thing?'

'You know the one that makes me fall in love with you all over again. You don't know you're doing it but I never miss it when it happens. Are you happy?' 

'Well I think that kiss just told you your answer.' She giggled back. 'If I had failed, I'm not sure I could have carried on knowing I went into the hotel for nothing and came out broken. I don't think I would be sat here on this bench with you.'

'Now our life can finally get started.' 

'Indeed it can.'

'Come on, get your scrubs on and let's do what you do best apart from give me sex.' 

A laugh came from her and I instantly felt weight fall off my shoulders as she did. Her giggle made me emotional and made me love her even more but at this point at every minute I was falling more and more in love with the mother of our child. I realised that that outburst was a sign she was okay, that she was ready to put this behind her and move on. Only did my heart tear when I imagined us both sat in the court hearing for her attackers sentencing but I was not about to ruin the moment we just had together and kept my mouth zipped. 

Previous to my appearance in the locker room, I had been walking through the hallway when my phone rang. A private number appeared and unaware of who it was I answered politely. And then the voice on the other side delivered the news that we going to be in court within the next 2 weeks. They didn't say a specific date or time since they had no idea when there would be sufficient time to provide the sentence. I hung up the phone after the conversation and planned on telling Meredith when I arrived. I knew she would want to know whether that brought her distress or not but then when the Chief didn't give me much time alone with her before to explain, I knew after giving her an ounce of hope and joy in her life, that it was not the time to tell her. I wanted to let her enjoy her news not send her mind wandering all over again. 

MEREDITH'S POV

The burning pain disappeared at the moment Derek walked back in my presence. I had been holding my belly but when I noticed him, I quickly let go not wanting him to question why I was gripping my stomach so tight. Trying to cover up the fears again, I made conversation between us both asking about the Chief and as soon as Derek told me that he knew, I felt some weight lift off my chest, that it wasn't going to have to be secretive as to why I was going to be constantly on Derek's service. Even though I had only been away from the hospital for 2 days, I felt like I hadn't stepped foot inside for centuries. The smell of Iodine and the fresh scrubs brought back feelings that I needed. I needed some hope in my life right now. Then, just as if I'd asked God to save me, Dr Webber handed myself an envelope with my results in it. I couldn't bare to open them initially so handed them to Derek and gave him the hard job of maybe having to tell me my life was practically over. 

'I never ever doubted you' followed by an intense yet perfect kiss, made my heart start beating again and my lungs inflate. I had a feeling that life was going to get back on track quickly and Derek and I could be happy about the things to come. The baby. The wedding. Even just the announcements that we had to give, held some excitement for the first time since they had all germinated. 

With this ounce of hope, I excused the pain I had felt in my stomach and put it down to stress, anxiety, nerves and probably the acid reflux I had also felt early this morning.