What Should Have Been From The Beginning

A Hot-Shot Attending and A Love-Struck Intern

MEREDITH'S POV

I genuinely had no idea what he was doing or getting but once I quickly started to put the puzzle pieces together, it suddenly came apparent at what was happening. I immediately started losing air, struggling to comprehend any other thoughts and I found myself asking him what he was doing repeatedly before he had even turned back over to face me. I kept trying to tell myself that what I think was about to happen, wasn't actually going to. We had been back together for not even 72hours. We had known each other for not even 2 years. He had just broken off a marriage, well I had, 3 days ago. Surely, he couldn't actually want to get married. Not to me. The woman who had broken his heart once before. I loved him with my whole heart but I wasn't ready for marriage yet. I hadn't even finished my internship. He was that hot shot attending and I was that love-struck intern. 

Sure enough as he rolled over dismissing my questions, he held a small blue velvet box in his palm, covering as much as he could of the box with his hand. I could feel myself start to panic and I almost felt guilty. I felt remorseful at the thought of, had I actually pushed him to do this? Did he feel like he had to propose to me, to reassure me that he was mine? 

'Whoa, whoa what are you doing?' I placed my hand on top of his, the one that had the ring in it, to stop him moving it any closer to me. He was still smiling and I could see the excitement he felt, through his eyes. The sheet had slipped from my body so he used his other hand to pull it back over me, covering me up and when letting go, her ran his fingers through my hair and his thumb down my cheek. 'You don't have to do this you know?'

'Meredith, I'm doing it. And you can reject me but I'll keep doing it until you are ready.'

I gulped at the thought of spending the rest of my life with him. I wasn't rethinking my decision at all but I wasn't sure if I wanted this so soon. I needed some sort of sign telling me this was going to be okay. That Meredith Grey could be loved and live a happy life with a man who truly loved her. After all the trauma and disappointment that had clouded me for my entire life so far, how was it possible to have a happily ever after. I fixed my eyes to Derek, feeling emotions overwhelm my mind and I sensed his soft hand pick up mine and hold it between his thumb and fingers. 

'It never occurred to me that I would ever be with anyone else as soon as I met you. I knew you were perfect. Your eyes. Your smile. Your manner. And then you had worries and doubts and I contributed to them. I nearly gained your trust and then I broke it. But I don't regret every being away from you because it only made me realise how in love with you I am. You turned my world and you're everything. My heart only beats for you and I want to be the great love story. I want to bring our children back to this place. I want to come back here when our children are all grown up with their own children. I want to be with you when we are on our last legs. I will be with you when we are at the end. And you have a choice. But I want you to know, I've been in love with you for... ever. I will never stop loving you. I don't want to spend another minute of my life, not devoted to you.'

I definitely wasn't one to cry at soppy things like this but I was obviously a changed woman and he made my heart melt with every word he spoke. A single tear, slowly fell from my waterline and down my cheek. 

'Meredith Grey, will you spend the rest of your life with me?'

'I-i, ah, are you-'. I wanted to make sure he wasn't getting himself into anything he didn't want to because after his words, that spoke so much sense into me and made me feel so much reassurance that I could have my happy ever after, I knew I was a hundred percent in love. I wanted to give him an out before we made this decision.

I felt his hand squeeze mine tighter, allowing me to feel an overwhelming amount of security and comfort.  I didn't bother looking at the ring inside the box because a ring wasn't important to me. What was, was the thought of living out my years with the man I loved with every ounce I had. At that moment, I couldn't bring myself to say anything and knew I couldn't from the previous session of stuttering. I took my hand out of his, closed my eyes, held his stubbly cheeks and gave him my answer through a warm, love-filled, tender kiss until I could finally seal the deal.

'Derek Shepherd, I will spend the rest of my life with you.' We both kissed again and laughed at mainly happiness but also the thought of 'this is crazy' to each other as he placed the substantially large diamond ring which was on a diamond encrusted band on my hand.

'I just have one condition,' I said giving him pause and now realising he had a somewhat worried look across his face. 'You have to let me take this ring off at work because there is no way I can work with this rock on my finger, plus nobody will ever shut up about it and when I'm alone I'm afraid someone my rob me now this is on my finger.'

He cupped my cheeks with both hands and moved my face centimetres from his, 'You can wear it whenever you want, wherever you want. It doesn't mean you wont be my wife.' He engraved a passionate kiss onto my lips and rolled over so he was now hovering above my naked body. He kissed my neck and my collarbone, leaving shivers all down my spine as he slid himself further down my body, allowing contact between our hips, continuing to kiss my stomach and grab my thighs, enticing my with every move he made. He brought himself back up to my eyes and zealously kissed me for the last time before we decided to get ready for the day and plan hours of picturesque lunches and excursions on the lake.