What Should Have Been From The Beginning

Home Finally

MEREDITH'S POV

In the taxi, on the way home, even though I knew I wouldn't see that person again, I kept reimagining his face and reading his expressions over and over. I realised that the only way to stop thinking about it was if I took the ring off. We arrived at my house after the journey and holding Derek's hand firmly throughout the whole ride, to be greeted by Cristina, Izzie and George. 

'You go in and I'll get our bags. Is that okay?' Derek slid out of the door, stepping down and then helping me out after. We both stood face to face and I wasn't crying but I knew he knew I wasn't myself and his eyes filled with tears watching me look so bothered and disturbed. He placed both of his hands on either one of my shoulders and kissed my forehead.

'Yeah, okay. Do you not need any help though?' I had now come to the conclusion that I didn't feel safe without him and even though I was metres from my front door, I didn't want to leave his side. 'I can help you.' I said and he just nodded his head. We grabbed out things from the boot of the car and walked up to the front door where Cristina, Izzie and George stood waiting for us.

'Hey, lovebirds. All that alone time, are you pregnant yet?' 

'Cristina!' Izzie subtly yelled and Cristina just laughed. I didn't want to have to explain anything to any of them so I just laughed and replied how I normally would, keeping my hand out of view.

'They make condoms for a reason Cristina. Are you on the night shift?' 

'Yep. And you are too tomorrow so enjoy the rest of the night.' George answered and clearly they knew I was coming back.

'You guys know?' 

'Mer, everyone but the dead people in the morgue know. That's all that's been talked about.' 

Once again, Izzie stepped in to tell them off. 'George, stop.'

'Okay, we're gonna go inside now.' Derek spoke, placing his hand on my back and directing me in.

We got inside, dropped our luggage by the door, Derek took my jacket and hung it up along with his and came to join me in the kitchen. I had my head in my hands, running my fingers through the front of my hair as I heard him come in and sit down beside me. I had rested my head on the surface and he had his head rested in his palm with his elbow on the counter and his other hand rubbing my back. I let out a smile, knowing I was now in the comfort of my own home and I was safe with him. The moment was silent for a short while until Derek's eyes lit up after consistently looking into mine with a warm glow to them, and he leant down to kiss my lips.

'They don't know we are engaged' broke the silence.

'They don't' I mumbled back, continuing to keep my eyes fixed on his. I sat up and back in the chair. 'I will tell them but can it be our secret for now?' I was scared to ask him, not because I thought he would get angry but because I knew it might upset him. 'It's so new and fresh and before anyone decides to judge us I want to enjoy the newness of it.' I felt Derek's hand rub up and down my leg now and he reminded me, 

'I don't care if you don't tell anyone till the day before our wedding. I know that I'm spending the rest of my life with you. You know that and that's all that matters. I love you. You know that right?' 

'I couldn't know it anymore.' My eyes lit up immediately from his reassurance and I was grateful for his presence. I gave him love through my eyes and I received love back. 

'No one can hurt you. It's my job to protect you, okay? So forget about what happened in the airport.'

'I love you.' I told him truthfully and I got up, pushed my chair in and wrapped my arms around his chest from behind, kissing him on the neck and I walked over to the fridge. I looked inside for a few minutes, noticing the fridge was bare and then turned to Derek with a cheeky grin on my face, and asked, 'Pizza?'

He laughed at me. 'You didn't eat enough pizza in Italy? I think if we get pizza, you'll be disappointed. Seattle pizza and fresh Italian pizza aren't the same.'

'True. Thai?' 

'Thai it is.'

We had the house to ourselves for the last night and we sat on the sofa, ate a very late dinner whilst reminiscing on our holiday. 

'I'm not gonna wear the ring for a while, if that's okay?'

'I already told you, it's not what makes you my fiancé. I don't care if you don't wear it.' He got up and took our plates into the kitchen. 

'I know, I know, but I don't want to hurt your feelings.' 

'It doesn't hurt my feeling, don't worry.' He replied from loading the dishwasher with our dishes.

I walked over to him and held him in my arms, I wrapped my arms around him from behind again because I knew he loved it when he could feel my heartbeat on his body. 'Hey, you wanna take a bath with me?'

He turned around immediately with a cheeky smile across his face, 'I could never say no to that.' I chuckled and we walked up the stairs, locking the front door on our way. 

We had a huge, soapy, boiling bubble bath together, with us sat at either end looking each other in the eyes. We kept breaking the silence by giggling after we had stared at each other for a good while. I know why I kept laughing and it was because this smile would slowly creep up his face and his eyes would get wider as he saw me start to do the same and we would both end up in hysterics at each other for no apparent reason. I blamed the random outbursts on tiredness and the fact that I was so exhausted I didn't even know what day it was. He kept telling me every time I did burst out chuckling, that he was laughing because he couldn't believe how in love he was.

We eventually got out of the bath and finished getting ready for bed, brushing our teeth with the extra toothbrushes I had in the cabinet since we hadn't unpacked yet. My bedroom looked like a warzone with Derek's boxes left, right and centre and as I looked around at the state, I remembered I hadn't actually asked him to move in and we hadn't even talked about it for some reason. We both climbed into bed but before I did I took off my ring and put it in the drawer in my bedside table. Derek got in a position where we were spooning, which was our usual, and I felt him put his arm over me, pulling me closer. This was the closest we had ever slept and I felt so safe in his arms. It was moments like this that made up for all the bad things that happened. 

'Before you go to sleep, will you agree to move in tomorrow, so we can move those boxes.' I didn't hear a reply for a second and then I sensed a stubbly, tender, loving and meaningful kiss on my cheek and he whispered in my ear, 'yes please.' We turned off the lamp and slept like babies the rest of the night.