What Should Have Been From The Beginning

Hours Before

'Meredith Grey!' The doctor yelled my name from across the hallway and we immediately stood up and made our way inside. Derek had his comforting hands locked in mine and guided me into the exam room before letting go. My pants were unzipped and rolled underneath the tiny bump that I had, and my top was tucked underneath my bra allowing all the space for an accurate ultrasound. A certain someone never left my side and held my hand the whole time.

'So you're on the last day of your first trimester, how are you feeling? Any nausea, morning sickness, migraines?'

'Nothing at all. I feel fine and I have a gut instinct that the baby is fine too.'

'We'll see for yourself.' The doctor at that moment angled the screen towards Derek and I, and there they were. Our baby. Their tiny fingers and toes. I was already so in love with this child that when I turned to Derek, to see his reaction, I burst out in tears. I furness my head away from the screen and the sonographer to maintain some ounce of dignity and then felt Derek's hand gently stroke my hair back out of my face with his other hand, since the other was occupied by my tight grip. After a few seconds, my heart started to fill and my stomach got fluttery. The first time we heard our baby's heartbeat. The minuscule thuds and murmurs, sent a wave of gratitude for everything happening to us, came over me. I turned my head back toward the screen to get another glimpse of who would soon be in my arms.

The doctors wiped the excess gel from off my stomach and left the room to give me and Derek privacy. I pulled my top down and my trousers up and then pictured a very cheesy grin from Derek who was holding my jacket and looking devotedly at me. The room was silent but in that instants our faces spoke a thousand words and more. We could both tell the amount of excitement we were feeling and I walked over to Derek, holding out my arms to slide through his arms and hug around his back. I tilted my head back to get a good view of his face, looking down at me and then had a caring, adoring kiss placed onto my lips. We stayed there whilst we took in what had just happened, how real everything was now and how fast everything was moving.

'We just heard our babies heartbeat and we're getting married tomorrow. That's a pretty full on week, wouldn't you say.'

'Tomorrow you'll be my wife. Forever. And then you'll be a mama in months. I would say it's a pretty full on year.'

We closed the conversation with another kiss and began on our way to the attending's lounge.

'So still nobody knows, not even Cristina, but I want to tell her now if that's okay with you.' I paused hoping for the response I wanted.

'Meredith, go tell your person. She'll be happy to find out.'

That's exactly what I did. As I was walking to the locker room, I realised if I wasn't to actually tell her yet, she was most likely going to find out tomorrow anyways, when a bump is apparent as she's helping me into my dress. Straight after that realisation, it occurred to me, that I was wearing a tight to my body, white gown, with a large, for me usually, stomach, in a room full of people who would all be staring at me and only me as I walked down the aisle. Before I could come up with a solution, I was in the locker room with no view of Cristina. I figured she was probably already on pre-ops and that I would just have to tell her when I got the chance.

Hours went past, many instances where I would brush past Derek, look back and see him wink at me. It felt cute, and intimate to have this secret between us. Out of everyone who could possibly know, it was our little surprise and I couldn't be happier. I was marrying the man of my dreams tomorrow and once all the malarkey of detailed wedding scenes, were over, life would be back to a somewhat normal way with the only difference being, a tiny human growing inside of me and a ring in my finger. In those hours, I hadn't once seen Cristina, and believed she was probably in an OR. The tension and urge was killing me and I needed her to hurry up so I could let my mind ease a little. As soon as I swung around to walk into a patients room, an intense Cristina came flying towards me.

'Cristina, I need to talk to you!'

She totally blanked me and what I said. Not taking it to heart seen as though she did look like she was in a rush or going to an emergency, my day carried on and ended with Derek and I, kissing and parting ways for the evening.

'Our last kiss as fiancé's.' I said to him and proceeded to kiss his lips through a smile.

'Did you managed to tell Cristina?' 

'She's been busy.'

Derek pushed the hair back off my face, tilted my chin up with his thumb and finger and kissed me on last time. This time with so much more passion and lust.

'There'll be plenty more of that tomorrow.' He told me and then he put his hand discreetly on top of my stomach, holding it there for a few seconds all whilst making those sparkly eyes he does that sends me into a whirlwind of love, and then he left to go to the car.

Back at home, I sprawled across my bed which felt so empty without Derek, and laid in a blissful silence. It was disrupted by Cristina, launching herself into the mattress and laying beside me.

'I have something to tell you.' She propped herself up to look at me, leaning on her elbow. I turned my head in to look at her and then I said,

'I'm pregnant again.'