What Should Have Been From The Beginning

Not Another Minute

DEREK'S POV
Meredith and I had been sat in the couch for a good amount of time before I felt like I should maybe start cleaning up the house and serving her. I figured she wouldn't be moving for a while as much as she was stubborn and deep down fuming about not being able to do what she wanted but that's what I was there for. To wait on her hand and foot. After everything she had been through she deserved nothing less that the up most love and care I could give her.

'I'm gonna go grab you some fresh clothes and a blanket from upstairs. I'll be two seconds. The doors locked and I can hear you if you shout.' Just as a precaution, I reminded her that in her own house she was safe and nothing was going to happen. 'Do you need anything else from upstairs?'

She gave pause for a second and then smiled at me with this toothy grin and natural glow to her, what was once dull, skin.

'In my bedside drawer, my ring is there. Can you grab me that please?'

'You want your ring?' I smiled, surprised and shocked at her request. For some reason she was taking more steps ahead than I was and she was the one who had been through hell and back. Nether the less, I didn't dampen her spirit and excitement, so I flashed her a warm smile and started walking up the stairs. My hand reached for the bedroom door, turned the knob and entered, only to be face to face with horror and deathly envisions. My eyes instantly met the duvet which was gathered in a ball at the bottom of the bed and which was layered in blood. Then my focus moved from that piece, to the blood bath that soaked the sheets of our bed in Meredith's side. There wasn't a particular shape to the blood stun but instead randomly drenched the material on the bottom of our bed and had seeped through to my side. The mess joined us and connected our sides. I took a step slowly, in shock and terror, examining every inch of mess that haunted the room. Blood stains on the wooden floor as well as the cream rug besides the bed. The only thoughts I had engraved in my mind whilst witnessing the horror was the realisation that Meredith went through this alone. For the first, initial moments of the death of our child, Meredith was alone. I wasn't there to comfort her or hold her or tell her this was okay. I wasn't there to cradle her whilst she was deafened by shock or carry her to the hospital. Every time I should've been there I wasn't and what took me away from that? Work. My job. My passion. They took me from the love of my life every time I needed to be with her.  My thoughts wandered for a while, reliving the moment I first saw her in the ER when she was brought in and then it wandered further to the part of my mind where the love laid. Sat on the edge of the bed looking at the bedside drawer, I remembered the first moment I locked eyes with the woman I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Her green olive eyes captivated me instantly and never once had I forgotten what they looked like. Whether I closed my eyes, in bed next to her or when I was laid in bed next to Jennifer, I was constantly thinking of Meredith and her everything. Her body. Her poise and passion and her eyes. She was my thoughts and as I reached past the mess to open the drawer, I realised that Meredith must be looking so into our future and our lives that she forgot about the morbid scene. She said she was glad I didn't see her the way she was and if she remembered what our bedroom looked like, she wouldn't have let me come up here. I grabbed the blue velvet box from inside and opened it, reminiscing on Italy and Lake Como. The moment I popped the question in the most Meredith and Derek way. How she was naked in white satin sheets, with the morning sun and slim breeze blowing her hair back, when she replied with the answer that changed our lives. Without a doubt or even the question or whether or not I should do it, I placed her engagement ring on the Chester Dresser and as fast as possible, removed the sheets and replaced them with new ones from the airing cupboard. That way we would be able to cuddle together in our bed without having to be directly reminded of what had happened. It would be in the back of our minds for the rest of our lives, that wasn't uncertain, but if Meredith was strong enough to move forward that meant I should be too.

'Hey, you took a bit.'

'Yeah, I was erm-' Not knowing how to not bring it up, I stuttered but was saved by a bell. The oven had finished after I put pizza in for us and I kept the ring in my back pocket whilst I laid a blanket over Meredith's legs. I brought the pizza in on a plate and placed it on the coffee table, sat down on the sofa with my fiancé and grabbed the ring from my back pocket. I picked up Meredith's hand from her lap in which her eyes lit up as she knew exactly what I was about to do. The ring was removed from the cushioned box and slid onto her left ring finger. She was always going to be wife whether she had the ring on or not but now seeing it there, settled on her skin, it felt like things were moving on now. Finally.

The hand with the ring on it, found the back of my neck and Meredith leant forward closer to my face. Our noses were now about 2 inches from each other's and her soft breathe was felt on my lips.

'Now the only question is, when do we tell people because I don't wanna spend another minute not married to you.'