What Should Have Been From The Beginning

Uncalled for Nausea

MEREDITH'S POV
After plenty of endless nights and days in OR's and on-call rooms, restless evenings laying in bed wide awake and wracking my brain of every piece of knowledge I ever knew, three weeks had finally passed and I was to travel to a hotel tomorrow morning.

I was laid in bed dozing off and Derek had come home from work late. He hadn't tried to be very quiet when entering our bedroom and tried to quietly yell, which he failed at, when he stubbed his toe on the chair next to the door.

'Ow, shit!' He hopped around the room, still failing to try not disturb me. I switched on the bedside lamp and sat up in bed wondering what he had actually done. My face expressed confusion and I was blinking repeatedly as my eyes tried adjusted to the sudden beaming light that filled the room.

'Sorry, sorry. I tried not to wake you but that chair has got to go.' He said pointing at it furiously as if her were telling a bad dog off. I giggled at the anger, for the chair, in his voice and he stood there, one leg up, rubbing his toe through the sock. I wanted to be close to him and I wanted his arms wrapped around me. Ever since we had been back together, the nights where our shifts were different, I had awful nights of sleep and all I needed in those moments was him to be laid beside me. I patted the bed, throwing myself back onto the pillows and turning onto my side so that I would be facing him when he got in. He pulled his jumper and shirt over his head, throwing them on that damned chair he hated so much. I watched him then remove his jeans and belt and walk over to me in only his boxers. He climbed in right next to me and pulled my hand to his lips, kissed my palm and then interlocked his fingers between mine. Our foreheads were touching and I could feel his shallow breathe on the top of my hand. With his other, he stroked my hair, which he knew fine well sent me to sleep instantly. His hand traced the side of my face, pushing my hair behind my ears and continuing across my jawline, down my neck and round to my back. He pulled me closer to him and now my head was in the space between his collar bone and his neck. Comfort immediately drowned my body and the safety I felt from him overwhelmed my emotions.  Before eventually drifting off to sleep, I lifted my head up to kiss his lips goodnight.

'Thank you. For not leaving me.'

'You don't have to thank me. I'm never leaving. We're in this together.'

'When I get back from the exam, I'm gonna tell everyone. About the engagement. Is that okay?' Our eyes where now fixed to each other's. This was our love language. Touching and holding. Being in each other's eyes. It's what made us both the most comfortable and those moments granted us the upmost amount of love and gratitude.

'Whatever you like dear.' He said, kissing my forehead and manoeuvring his hand up the side of my body from my hip to my cheek. 'I have to be in work tomorrow before you set off so I won't see you until after the exam. But I'm gonna drive up and spend the night in the hotel with you after you've finished it because I'm not on call and I'm on the night shift that evening so we will have time to travel back.' He left a tender kiss on my lips before I turned over and his arm fell over my waist, pulling me closer and our bodies slept directly next to each other for the rest of the night.

The test had been moved due to other people's schedules so the plan was to drive up tomorrow morning, setting off around 10:30am. Get checked in to the hotel and then I was going to take the test at 4pm that day. Derek would then drive up to spend the night with me in the hotel after he'd finished his shift around 6pm and he would arrive at 8 ish and we would both drive home the next day and be on the night shift together.

*The Next Morning
I didn't fully wake up but I felt Derek's presence move from my skin as he got ready for work and before he left, he set a soft kiss on my cheek and pulled the duvet back over me. My alarm went off at 9:30, which was a very rare occasion and I hardly ever saw this light of day through my bedroom window. I leisurely woke up and got ready. Nerves had already kicked in and there was nobody in the house to talk me down unfortunately. The butterflies that had practically been living in my stomach since the day I found out about this test, were worse than ever and now I felt like the whole field of flowers was in there too. Normally, for a test, I would never ever get this nervous but the fact that after everything Derek and I had been through and after all he had done to get me back my job, there was the possibility of me not being able to work at the hospital and the thought that would probably hinder our relationship, sent shockwaves throughout my entire body. After I had gotten ready, gone downstairs and eaten toast for breakfast, it was 10:15am and I planned to leave for 10:30 to be on time, checking in and for the exam. I picked up my keys from the countertop and suddenly felt this bulging sickness in my stomach. My palms were sweaty and I could feel something, very rapidly, working it's way from my stomach up into my oesophagus. I covered my mouth with my hand, hoping to prevent any sick coming out of my mouth and I legged it for the sink. My hair was held back with one hand and I grasped the side of the sink with the other, continuously vomiting for what seemed like forever but I think was only about a minute. Unusually this bout of feelings had disappeared once I removed it from my system and the only thing making me want to throw up now was the taste in my mouth. I grabbed a glass of water, swirled the contents around my mouth and spat into the sink. I patted my lips clean, checked that I didn't have sick throughout my hair and went on my way, praying to God I could get there without throwing up. On my journey, I was flipping through everything other than nerves that it could be and remembered that I had been in peds where the stomach flu had been slowly spreading. I couldn't believe that Derek was going to have to see me sick with this for the second time but more concerning was that I had to get through this exam without throwing up. There was no way in hell that I was going to fail or miss it. Not a chance.