What Should Have Been From The Beginning

The Same State

CRISTINA'S POV

'Cristina! Please just get Derek!' Her scream penetrated my ears and sent shivers crawling down every hair follicle on my skin. Meredith stood in front of me sobbing and crying hysterically. There was no explanation of anything that was happening but there didn't need to be. Before attending to her wishes and calling Derek, who still wasn't home yet, I ran to her and was now knelt on the ground with her head bowed in her hands and continuing to ball her eyes out. 

'Meredith. You're gonna be okay. I've got you. I'm going to ring an ambulance okay.' I put my arm around her body and picked her up off the floor whilst I reached to the dresser to grab my phone, I knew that an ambulance probably wasn't necessary in this instant but just to be safe than sorry and also aware that I needed to hold Meredith constantly and I couldn't do that whilst I was driving, I rang one as soon as possible. I put the phone down on the bed and immediately regained focus on Meredith next to me. All of a sudden, in my arms, I felt her body become limp and weak and then she dropped to the ground, falling onto her side and laying numb on the rug. Her hair dropped and ended up wrapped around her neck and almost looked as if it was strangling her. Her focus remained directly in front of her as she stared aimlessly at the bottom of the bed frame. One of her hands drooped randomly over her chest and her other cradled her stomach. I was so in the dark about what to do. I'd never seen her like this before and never had ever imagined I would. She was Meredith Grey and the Meredith Grey I knew, looked fear in the face and told it to piss off. Not this time though. Now she lay in this presence, with no words being spoken apart from soft mummers of her saying Derek's name, after her crying had become non existent and the only evidence of the hysteria was her blood shot eyes and the dried up tear streams still on her cheeks. 

Thankfully, before we knew it, I heard ambulance sirens outside the house and was then joined by paramedics in Meredith's room. She didn't even acknowledge their presence nor the questions they were asking but after specific information from my behalf and the scene, we were submerged in, they knew the answers without her voice. I didn't leave her side once. Not when she was being initially examined, not when she was still laying numb in the moving rig and not until we arrived in the hospital bay. 

DEREK'S POV

Just before I was about to leave, I was abruptly paged to the ER for a 2 year old little girl who needed an examination after she'd had a bookcase fall on her. I arrived in the pit, and was  greeted by a beautiful baby, who's eyes were green and radiated joy.  Even though she was in the emergency room, she had the biggest gappy smile across her chubby cheeks when she finally got a hold of my pocket torch. As soon as I saw her curly brown ringlets and big green eyes, I found myself, looking into the future and imagining a mini-Meredith. If our baby were to be a girl, I knew for sure she would have her mothers eyes and smile and probably my hair which only made for the perfect child. My heart yearned when I imagined a toddler, running unstably around the living room and watching them grab onto Meredith's two fingers as she walked behind them, steadying our child on their feet as they learnt to walk. All I wanted right now was to discharge this little one and go home to my fiancé and swaddle her and our unborn baby in my arms. 

'I'm going to get a doctor to come over and suture up her wound and then you can be on your way.' I smiled and spoke to the concerned parents.

'There's no internal injuries?' 

'Nope. She's a lucky girl.' I looked over at Darcy, the patient, and gave her back the torch which she had handed me back whilst I had been speaking to her parents. 

'Thankyou so much Doctor Shepherd.' As I waited with the family before another doctor came up to suture, the mother made small talk to me which was soon ended as an emergency was rushed through the doors.

'Do you have children?'

'No not yet, but very soon.' As soon as I finished my sentence with a bright smile plastered across my cheeks, my stomach dropped. My heart was in my mouth. My throat became dry and I witnessed Meredith get wheeled in on a stretcher with Cristina right next to her, gripping her hand. 

'Meredith Grey,' The paramedic informed other attendings and was then immediately ordered into trauma room 2 by Bailey. After hearing her name, nothing else was audible to me from the overwhelming emotions running through every vein in my body.

Miranda glanced at me once quickly and then took a second look as she realised I was running in the direction of the trauma room. Her hand met my chest to stop me and without even letting her get a word out, I pushed past her and horror struck me all over again. Just like it had when I found her in the same state.