What Should Have Been From The Beginning

One Step Closer

MEREDITH'S POV
*A few hours later*

Derek and I had finished our first surgery back together and thankfully everything went smoothly. Apart from a slight mishap in post op, the patient was doing great. She was stable and it was all good for Derek and I to finally grab some lunch together. I honestly felt like nothing had ever happened. Everything felt like it was supposed to. Like we were where we were meant to be. We had our love and we were back doing what we loved. We both headed down to the canteen and found ourselves alone in an elevator once again.

The elevator doors shut and we were surrounded by silence and the smell of Derek's luring cologne. I turned to him, lustful and grateful for every second we had spent together.

'What's that smile for?' He asked with a massive, toothy smile across his face and his eyes gave so much love to me.

'We just did our first surgery back.' I replied expressing the same emotion he showed and being really proud of both of us.

'Yeah we did and the whole time I couldn't stop looking at you in your scrubs. I just wanted to kiss you.'

'You know when you're in someone's brain, you should probably be paying attention to that and not your fiancé across the room.' I joked to him knowing fine well he couldn't resist.

'I just can't resist though.'

A giggle came from me because his dorky side always came out when we were alone together. We got to the canteen and sat down with lunch together and talked about the rest of the plans for the day, before we headed back into the elevator to do post-ops. We stepped foot inside and  finally addressed the elephant in the room.

'So when do you want to tell Cristina about the baby?' Even though this was the first time we had talked about the baby since this morning, when I was really apprehensive and cautious about the news, now after the successful surgery and the exams results, I felt good to talk about the our making growing in my womb.

'I think we should wai- Actually I think I should tell her today. Right?' I asked Derek hoping her would give me an easier answer since I was so oblivious of what the right thing to do was  with it still being so early. 

'You should tell her. She would want to know and be there for you. I'm not pushing you but I know you well enough to know that you'll feel guilty if you don't.' I looked away from Derek as he finished what he was saying and, to myself, tried to come up with a plan in my head of what I was going to do. He piped up, deterring me from my thought and pulled me closer to him. His arms wrapped around my lower back and my stomach touched his even though there was no show yet, we were close enough that they were touching. My hair was pushed back off my face and behind my ear by his gentle hands and he brought his thumb under my chin and his finger to the front of it. 

'Be happy about this. Let yourself. We're having a baby and you're gonna be a mama. You're going to be the best mama. And our baby is going to be so precious just like their mommy.' He finished and then planted a soft, delicate kiss onto my lips whilst lifting my chin up so they could reach each other. Our moment came to a halt once the elevator bell dinged and the doors began to open. 

'Mer! You're back?!' 

Derek's hand had previously been rested on the top of my scrubs where my stomach was whilst he was talking about the baby, so I shot his hand down from still being there before Cristina could get suspicious.

'Yeah, I'm back. I came in late though and went straight to surgery.' 

'Oh right. I have to go to a surgery now so I'll see you later?' She replaced us in the elevator and we repositioned ourselves outside in the corridor. 

'Wait Cristina. Page me once you've finished your surgery and meet me in the on-call room.' She looked back with a weird and confused face knowing we all know what happened in those rooms.

'Not in that way. I just need to speak to you.' I chuckled at her to disguise the panic I was feeling about telling her eventually and her face relaxed in relief. The doors closed and we headed to the scrub room. 

Hours later, I finally got a page from Cristina and since Derek and I were finished with labs and charts, I knew the time had come. I don't know why I was so nervous or dreading having to tell her because I knew she would be happy for me. But the thought of her judging me in any way seen as though we hadn't even been back together for 6 months and we were already engaged and pregnant, made me sick to my stomach. She was my person and if she didn't think this would be a good decision, there was no telling what I would want to do next. I walked out from my last patients room and quickly realised Derek was stood only a the nurses lounge, less than 50 feet from me. I could tell that arse from anywhere and to pull my thoughts in another direction other than the anxiousness overloading me right now, I sneakily tapped his cheeks and breathed down his neck from behind. He gasped and shot around to see who it was and as he noticed it was me, he gave me a sweet peck on my lips. 

'Hey you. You finished?' He asked with his sparkly, devoted eyes.

'Just. Cristina paged and you know what that means.' He took my hands from my lab coat pockets and squeezed them between his. 

'It means we are one step closer to being able to talk about this in front of people and it means we are one step closer to having this baby.' He kissed me on my forehead, smiled at me, hugged my body and I went on my way to the on-call room.