What Should Have Been From The Beginning

A Bit of Normality

DEREK'S POV
Having not slept a minute of the night, throughout it Meredith and I discussed any arrangements that would be difficult to avoid or dismiss. The idea of her returning to work whilst trying to hide both engagement and the pregnancy. The fact of the trial and sentencing of the her attacker. Every little detail from when she was going to tell Cristina about the baby, to when we start planning the wedding. In the moment, exhaustion wasn't a current state and I was just grateful to be able to be in my fiancé's presence knowing she was safe and she was with our child. I had everyone I ever wanted, in my bed and on my chest. Still not regarding the hysteria that Meredith had gone through, I tried to be cautious of any topics I brought up or actions I made, just so that she would never feel uncomfortable or anxious in any way.

The morning arrived and both of us were scheduled to be back at work but since we both assumed the chief had heard about the attack, there wasn't any rush to change locations to the hospital. We laid in bed together all morning until around 8am when I knew that Meredith needed some fuel, not only to survive the day on no sleep but to eat for two. The duvet uncovered my clothed body and I walked only a few feet to the kitchen.

'What are you doing? Come back in bed please.' Meredith confusingly asked. She laid on her back rubbing her stomach with one hand and pushing her hair off her face with the other. I stood for a second just in admiration of how strong she was being. A smile grew across my stubbly face and my teeth appeared within. I held a pan in my fist but quickly dropped it onto the counter whilst I ran over to her and kissed her on top of her lips.

After taking a breath, she asked with a cheeky smile on her face, 'what was that for?'

'You. Just you.'

One of her eyebrows raised as I replied back, continuing to smile at her as I hovered above her body. I got back up and started to cook breakfast. As I turned back around from cooking the bacon, Meredith was up. She was pulling the covers back and somewhat making the bed. Her hair was falling down her back when she was wearing one of my shirts, that was overly large on her petite frame. I didn't say anything but instead returned the confused expression I got from her before.

'Meredith, are you okay?'

'We have to go to work at some point.' She replied back in a neutral tone.

'Are you sure you're ready?' Not wanting to belittle her or make her feel she was incapable but honestly fearing for her mental stability. I truly wasn't sure that going into a hospital with a boat load of trauma passing though each door, was the best option for someone who had just gone through what she had.

'I'm ready Derek. I can't just sit here all day and think about it. I need to be busy and as much as I love being in bed with you, I would much prefer to be in the OR now.' I expressed a sympathetic look, feeling for her and then continuing to be in awe. 'I do have a slight request though.'

'Anything you want dear.'

'You can't leave me. Don't ever leave me.'

The rest of the food was safely cooking so I pulled her back onto the bed and wrapped my arm around her shoulder whilst she laid her head on mine. We sat on the edge of the bed, her legs were curled up next to her chest. I planted a kiss onto her forehead and proceeded to assure her.

'I've told you. I am never ever leaving you. You can expect me to always show up. Whether that's when you've had one too many tequila shots once this baby is born and you need rescuing from Joe's, or whether you're in the OR stood beside me. I will always be there when and where you need me.' 

An hour had passed and we had eaten, gotten dressed into appropriate clothing and drove to the hospital. Sat in the front passenger seat, I watched a nervous look fill her eyes and I witnessed her take a sickening gulp. She was deep down dreading this even if she tried to deny it and didn't want to, she really was. My hand found hers. A squeeze of it was made and we climbed out of the car and walked hand in hand into the lobby.

'I have to go speak to the Chief, okay, but I'll be back with you as soon as possible. You're okay.'

In the Chief's office, I sat down in front of his desk and waited for his appearance.

'Chief.'

'Derek?' He asked unaware of why I was standing in his room randomly. 'Is everything alright?'

'Actually not really. I'm sure you heard, Meredith was involved in a robbery last night. She was held at gunpoint in her hotel room. The hotel were she was sent to take her test. I wasn't there and she was only in a towel when she was attacked.'

'Oh my God, Derek. I didn't know at all. Nothing has been said. Tell Meredith she can have all the time she needs off and you too.'

'She doesn't want it. She's in the interns lounge downstairs. That's why I'm hear to talk to you. I need to stay with her at all times. That's not my request, that's her's. She can't be alone. And she's not alright, I know she isn't, but you know Meredith and that she needs surgery to settle her so I'm asking if she can be on my service for as long as she needs.'

'Of course.' He had a clear expression of shock across  his face and he was almost gobsmacked by the information. I thanked him and started to walk out and head Meredith's way.

'Derek. If any of you need anything, please tell me. I'll help wherever I can.'

MEREDITH'S POV
Nobody was in the locker room and already I was regretting my decision. Then out of nowhere, I clenched my stomach, after feeling a horrific feeling shoot through. Once again I was alone, with nobody there to help me.