What Should Have Been From The Beginning

Serenity

DEREK'S POV
'I thought that maybe you'd have a better appetite after.' Her eyes looked unfocused on what we were about to do and she didn't look interested anymore. She walked in with her hands in her pockets and her head hung low.

'What's wrong?' I asked and patted the mattress beside me for her to come sit down next to me. She walked over swaying from side to side as if she wasn't quite sure what she wanted. Meredith, instead of sitting in front of me, laid down beside me and rolled over so her head was in the crook of my elbow and she nuzzled her face into my chest. Her arm wrapped over me, letting her hand rest gently on my chest and she started fiddling with my chest hair. I admired these moments where it wasn't about sexual intimacy but intimacy between our thoughts. She found comfort in laying beside me and the smaller things warmed both our hearts. In this moment as she went on speaking about the test and the fate of her life if she failed, I felt like she finally trusted me. She was coming back to me and that made me feel all types of happiness. I kissed her forehead and consoled her, telling her that what would be would be and that we both knew she wasn't going to fail. Then instead of having sex in the on-call room, I let her take a nap in my arms. I kept her warm hugging her and caressing her leg calmly which was draped in between mine.

Hours had passed and Meredith and I had eaten and were about to head into a surgery again together. Before I walked into the scrub room, I met Cristina in the hallway and caught her attention, pulling her over.

'Dr. Yang, a word please?'

She huffed. 'Dr Shepherd.' Her eyes were wandering elsewhere from me and she did not look impressed at my ability to take her time.

'You can't be mad at Meredith. She didn't do anything. Everything she did do, she did because I made her life a misery and she couldn't stand to be around me. You do not get to put this in her face because the only reason she's on my service is because she deserves to be. My fia-my girlfriend, has a huge interest in Neurology and the only way I can make it up to her is surgeries and sex. I should not have to explain myself to an intern but if it stops you from biting Meredith's head off then I will.' By this point the anger was building up quickly and the expression on her face told me that she had now understood me. She looked me in the eyes, gave a look of apology and walked off. I expected nothing more from Cristina Yang and took her actions as enough to satisfy my means.

MEREDITH'S POV
The fact that my best friend didn't know about the most important thing in my life combined with the thoughts of possibly failing my test and not being able to continue my career, were making me go insane and my mind couldn't focus on what it needed to. I had to get through this important surgery without a mishap and the only way I could do that is if I let something off my chest. I ran to the nurses station to find out whether or not they knew where Cristina was because I was ready to get it out with her.

'Hi, have you seen Dr. Yang?'

A nurse replied back to me, pretty much immediately. 'She's right there,' pointing behind me.

'Ah, thanks.'

'Cristina, come with me.' I grabbed her by the arm with a firm grip so that she had no choice but to follow me. I pushed her into an empty patients room and slammed the door behind her, pointing my finger at the bed and demanding she sat.

'Right listen-,'

'Meredith.'

'No let me speak for once will you. You don't get to do that. Throw it in my face and make me feel guilty. I didn't do anything. He put me on his service and I did not ask to be in on his surgeries. I need to tell you something. Important. Something that I need your support with but I can't tell you that if you're still mad at me.' I finished there, trying not to push my luck and I knew if I had continued, things probably would go in a different direction. A deafening silence filled the moments between our conversation and our eyes were fixed on each other's. Hers piercing into my soul still as she started to speak and reveal something unexpected.

'I know,' she said in a sympathetic, apologetic, friendly tone, 'I know that you have something to tell me and I know that you didn't ask for this.'

A confused look swiftly crept across my face and a frown sat on my forehead. I shook my head, and asked 'you know?' not quite sure of what she thought she knew.

'Yes Mer I know. You might have kept it a secret from the others but I saw the rock on your finger. I mean it's pretty hard to miss.' In disbelief that she already knew, I asked more questions trying to figure out how she'd seen it.

'Yeah well, when you were getting out of the cab you didn't try to hide it then.'

'Oh.'  I had no idea as to what she thought about it because she hadn't made that very clear through any form of communication and I also didn't know what to say from there.

'I'm happy for you. You deserve it really. Everyone knows how in love youse two are. All the flirting in the hallways and OR's. And the fact that in front of everyone he knows, he left a woman at the alter for you. Meredith, to be honest with you, I didn't think it would work when you both started dating in the beginning but then when you pulled that one, God. That isn't a Meredith Grey move which is how I know that he is the one.' I gave her one of the grins we exchanged in moments that were somewhat awkward and unusual for us but where we genuinely were happy and having one of our moments.

'I love you, Cristina Yang.' I said back in a dorky voice, aware that I didn't need to say anything else back to what she had said.

'Yeah, yeah whatever Mrs Shepherd.' A death stare was threw right her way and we both slightly chuckled as I linked her arm and we walked out of the room with me heading off to be with my fiancé and her back to the pit since she had been called in for an emergency and I had somehow, just managed to grab her in a moment of her free time.