Afraid

29.

Short filler
Song for this chapter:
The Monster- Eminem ft Rihanna

Zayn's POV

"Friends with benefits?" she laughs looking at me. Is that stupid?

"Yeah" I confirm looking at her.

Jackie opens the screen door, allowing me to walk inside. Our shoulders brush briefly, as I walk pass her. I walk towards Andy's couch, sitting down.

Jackie sits down across from me, "What are the benefits? She is a virgin." Her tone is jealously, but she manages to laugh. I can't believe I just told Jackie about Alex's and I arrangement

"Jackie shut up." I turn my attention to Andy, "So what do you want?"

He clears his throat, "I need you to sell something for me." A box of weed, and acid is revealed in a small brown box. Along with small bags of coke.

I shake my head, "Naa, I done with that. I'm sorry, I'm actually trying to get my life back on track."

Jackie laughs, "Zayn. I have known you since secondary school. It's all an act. Alex isn't here. Be honest with yourself, you love sex, and drugs."

That was the old me. Or at least I want to believe that was the old me. I bite the inside of my cheek. "People change."

She rolls her eyes, "Habits don't. Face it Zayn, you aren't good enough for Alex. You never were or ever will be. You have monsters that are bigger than your little romance with Alex."

Andy just sits there waiting for me to reply, if I agree to this, then I lose everything that I was trying to gain. I shake my head, "I can't Andy."

He smirks, "I'll tell Alex everything then. About your addiction, Max's little sister. Everything. Even about Candice."

I stand up, "I'm done with Candice. There isn't anything to say." I am not proud, of what I did. This whole situation is twisted. I know the truth and I'm not proud of it.

"We know you saw Candice that night, you left Alex."

"That was different. You guys know that." I defend myself.

Jackie sits straight, "I wonder what Alex would think. If she finds out, then you and Candice are both fucked, and she'll hate you forever."

I start to pace the room, running a hand through my hair, "Candice and I both promised to keep our mouths shut."

Andy laughs, "Bullcrap. You know Candice is a bitch. And you didn't warn Alex."

"Shit. That's old news. Candice changed." I think she changed. She is actually nice towards Alex. Candice used to be a bitch, she was a mean girl. I can't believe Niall ever liked her.

"Zayn, you are only making this situation worse. Just tell Alex." Jackie says with a straight face.

"I can't. I just can't. If I sell all this, is my secret safe?" I ask, I'll do it if it means Alex never finds out.

Andy nods his head, "yes. Jackie swears too."

I take a breath. You could this Zayn. It's for you, and Alex's relationship. She can't find out. I was naive, young, stupid, back then.

"I'm in." I regret it as soon as those words leave my lips.
--

I drive Jackie home, she tells me how Candice is using Alex. Planning something against her.

"Why are you telling me this?" I park my car

"Because you love Alex. I know you do, yes I think your an ass, and I hate Alex. But Zayn, I know about Alex's past. I think it's fucked up, but still I hate you and her. Just listen Zayn, you aren't good enough for her. Let her go, she needs love, and you can't give her that." Jackie says quietly.

She leans closer to me, "Zayn. You need me. You want me. You love when I moan your name, you like it fast, and hard. Alex can't give you that. Let me Zayn." Her lips are close to mine.

"Your right," she smiles. I take a deep breath moving in closer, "Alex can't give me that, but I want her, I need her. I want her to whisper my name, I want it slow and meaningful. And you can't give me that." I push her away.

Her eyes widen, "What has she done to you?"

"She changed me, accepted me." I whisper realizing I can't live a normal life after Alex.