Afraid

37.

Song for this chapter:
these are the lies - the cab.

Zayn's POV

She was everywhere, on the news, in the papers. People talked about her everywhere. Kids talked about at school. I was referred as the guy she left behind. Everyone act like she died in se terrible accident. I just kept quiet, I didn't defend her. It's been a week, and we have no clues, she hasn't contacted anyone. It's like she was ghost. Mr. Carter that he has been praying for me, but I don't want prayer, I wanted her home, not just for me, but for her family, and friends.

"Zayn, want a water?" Lana asks, as I sat on Alex's bed petting Pookie. I have been coming to Alex's house everyday waiting for her to come back.

Stupid me.

"No I am good. Thanks though." I shift leaning against her headboard.

Lana smiles softly. she has Alex's smile, "Umm, the cops have a lead. A kid said, that he seen her today In Bradford, with a guy."

I nod, bothered by all the these false accusations, since her disappearance went public, people have been calling in, saying they seen her in Manchester. Now with a guy? I don't know what to believe anymore.

I just want to know that she is safe, and has a place to sleep, and food to eat. But I know nothing, I try not to care too much, because she left while I was asleep. That's damn shady.

I look at Lana, "a guy? Is there a possibility that she was kidnapped?" I refuse to believe she left with another guy. But I knew she wasn't kidnapped, it's just better to think that, than her leaving with another guy.

She sighs deeply, walking towards me, with her arms crossed, "No." She sits on the bed next to me changing the subject slightly, "The last conversation I had with her, I was telling her to stay. To just give everything time, to not rush things. I begged her to stay. When I left her room, I heard her crying, I just wished I stood longer, maybe waited for her to fall asleep. But she was whispering for God to take her pain." Lana begins to stutter, "She is baby, I want her home. It's a cruel world out there."

I watch her, she starts to cry holding her face, "I just want my daughter home. Steven is really upset. He is drinking, he cries when I am asleep."

I scoot up, feeling the grieve Lana has. "she'll come back. I promise you she will. It's alex, she loves adventure, and lives with curiosity. She is starting college soon, She won't throw that away."

She looks at me, puffy, sadden eyes, "I just miss her. After what happen with my brother in the past with her, I am Extra over protective of her."

"I get it. My father is the same way, but we can't live in the past. Alex told me, our past consumes us, if we allow it. When she told me she was raped, I handled it wrong. I yelled at her, pushed her away, because she faced her past. I couldn't, and I still can't. Also because I was mad that somebody would hurt Alex. You daughter is opening my eyes to a lot of things. She is wise."

Lana smiles half hearted, "The wisest are always the most depressed."

I frown, "true, but if I know Alex, the way I think I know her. Then I know she will come back, maybe not soon, but she'll come back. She needs space to think, she felt zoned out. But She didn't have to runaway, she just maybe felt if she stayed she would feel open to opportunities that she felt like she meant to choose."

"Sammy said the same thing. Do you think, God is punishing me?"

I shake my head, "I didn't believe in God. But the way Alex talked about him was so highly. Then I began to think about it, I was grateful for him bringing Alex to me. I started to believe, and Alex said that God, doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. He doesn't punish."