Afraid

49.

Songs:

Not about Angles - Birdy
So cold - Ben cocks

*the video displays the brightness of Zayn's heart that he doesn't want others to witness.*

Zayn's POV

The boys all met up at my house after Alex's graduation. I sat on the couch fumbling with my fingers as Liam patted my shoulder, "You alright mate?" His face expression was soft, his voice lower than usual.

I eyed him, shrugging his hand off, "Do you and Alex have thing?" I didn't want an answer that avoid the question, it was simple. I wanted an yes or an no.

Liam looked to see if the other guys noticed, he looked back at me, sitting across from me on the opposite couch, "Zayn, i promised Alex i wouldn't-"

I shook my head disgusted, "How could you?" She was the first girl that i ever truly ever loved. Alex meant everything to me, she had infinite reasons why i loved her.

"Not like that zayn. Alex went through something recently, and she really needed somebody. She called me.but that's all that happened i swear, you have to believe me."

And i did, because no matter how much liam fancied Alex, i deep down knew he wouldn't betray me like that. But seeing her with him, made me realize, that maybe i should have let Liam have her. He could have treated her better, loved her better, hell, he would probably even marry her.

I sigh, "I still love her. I hate that she is leaving." Knowing that alex was moving next week was killing me. I wasn't sure if i should fight for her or let her live her life. I tried to think of both situations, and they both ended tragically.

Niall sat down next to liam, "It was a rubbish thing to leave her graduation so soon."

I chuckle, "I couldn't stand seeing her happy without me. God, i'm so selfish."

Niall frowned, "maybe the first step of letting go is confronting the past. Sammy is throwing a huge party for her tomorrow, you should stop by."

"No, sammy hates me. She has hated me since Alex and i broke up, I can imagine her throwing me out of her house."

"Go over right now, she is probably home already. Her parents had taken her out for dinner." Harry mumbled as he and Louis came to join.

I looked back at liam, "we are here for you Zayn. we'll always be here to pick up the pieces."

--

The drive to Alex's house was highly humiliating. Once i parked out her house, i saw her bedroom light on, i sat in my car just staring at her window. I had seen a figure go by, then another, i wondered if Sammy was there with her. Was she packing? Or chasing pookie?

In the corner of my eye, i seen Candice walking towards my car. Her smile was wicked, she paused standing out of door, "I told her." She was proud.

My heart dropped, my fist tightening on the steering wheel, "Told her what Candice?" Please not about that night, last year on spring break.

Her blue eyes glimmered in the moonlight, "just how much fun, you, me and Jackie had in Leeds, that was my going away gift. She seemed really upset. Other thing i noticed she had a ultrasound picture on her dresser. Congratulations shithead, you are going to be a daddy." She laughed walking away.

What the fuck? I heard a door shut, and it was Alex's house. Martin was walking out, with a box. I watched him as he got in his car, and drove off in a hurry.