Afraid

32.

Short filler of Alex's side of the story, and a little background of her. Your guys support and feedback always make me smile. So tell me, is Alex running from Love or Zayn? What's up with Candice and Zayn? What's Ashton role in all this big mess?

Alex POV

"He just lost, big time."

Did he just say that? Does Ashton think, I want him? I don't.

How could I still want a stupid Hazel dreamy eyes boy named Zayn after what he said? I know he lied, but why?

I pull away from Ashton, my face feels flushed, "No, this is all wrong." I wipe my mouth trying to get rid of Ashton's taste.

How rude of me

He looks astonished, disappointed, "It felt so right."

I shake my head, "Nothing is right about this. I just got out of a relationship, I only met you a week ago. My ex boyfriends' friends think I'm a slut because I'm talking to you. It's me I'm just dysfunctional."

Ashton walks closer to me, "No, your perfect." He kisses my nose.

I push him away, "Stop repeating his words! Stop reminding me of him! You said I needed to move on but your just reminding me of him?"

He sighs deeply, "He hurt you, move on. Build a damn bridge and get over it."

I close my eyes, "I can't! He has the last part preventing me to get over."

Zayn.

His name can't leave my head. I walk past Ashton, grabbing my book bag, "I have to go. I can't be here with you right now."

I start rumbling through his things trying to find my phone. My bag keeps slipping off my shoulder. I'm growing irritated, tears start to fall.

Ashton seems to notice because he keeps repeating my name, "Alex...." I ignore him "Alex."

I find my phone, "What!" I snap turning around to look at him.

He jerks, "Just say it." He knows.

It's like a wave washes over me, everything is calm. I see his face, I get a flashblack of us laying in my room. Laughing and play fighting, he tells me I look so beautiful even when my hair is a mess, then kisses my forehead. It's one of my favorite memories with Zayn.

"I love him." I whisper, those three little words, twist a knot in my stomach. Love is suppose to be gentle, and sweet. But this knot is a painful, and scary. Loving him is like hugging a tree during a lightening storm, or walking into traffic.

It's dangerous.

"Go to him, he needs to know." Ashton says pointing towards his door.

"I can't. We caused each other too much pain. How could he forgive me? How could I forgive him? It's one big mess. I just want space from him. But he creeps into the very depths of my dreams, and thoughts. He is everywhere."

Ashton stares at me. I have a bad feeling about this, him. Something is odd about him. I walk to his door, "Bye Ashton."

I open it, "Alex.."

I turn around, "I could really use a friend. Let's pretend like none of this happened. You give a me feeling of home. Please... Friends?" He says walking towards me.

I gulp nodding, "Friends, nothing more or less." I walk out shutting his door.

I don't trust him.
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