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third
"can't you just leave mark the fuck alone?" his girlfriend hissed.
"why? i'm only his bestfriend, no need to be scared." you smirked. you were liking her attention on you, because she was scared of losing her boyfriend- my besfriend, mark.
"i am not fucking scared, loser. i'm just being the friend i can be, avoiding you getting hurt." she growled, quite literally. you rolled your eyes, which made her snicker. "stop fucking around mark, y/n. you'll only get yourself hurt." and she left you like that.
you sighed, your brave walls breaking. you always did that- have a brave, unbothered front. no one else broke those until mark, the one who knew you to your bones.
now, as cliche as it may sound, yes. you liked, even loved him, mark. you can act as yourself around him, weird or not, cry on him, rant, vent out, and even tell him your weirdest, dumbest and embarrassing moments in life with him.
you can only do it to him.
you don't know why, or how he did that. it was all just naturally gushing out when you're with him. and he understood that.
girlfriend? no problem. he always finds time to talk to you, spend time with you. practice? no problem. he can stay up until morning just to talk to you. academics? no problem. he can push those works aside when you needed someone to vent out to.
maybe, just once, it flashed on your mind if he felt the same way.
but no. if he did, he would've finally told you, wouldn't he? but instead, girl after girl, you found himself being the bestfriend he should be. he didn't lead you on, he didn't do anything that could possible make you think like that.
it was just you.
"mark," you smiled at him. "fair behind the mall just opened. wanna go?" you leaned on the chair beside him, waiting for him to pack his things.
"yeah, sure. when?" he glances at you and continues with what he's doing.
"uhm, later?" you squint your eyes. "if you're free. y'know, your girlfriend talked to me awhile ago," you told him what happened just earlier and he just laughed at you.
"if you wouldn't stop talking back at my girlfriends, you'll be on their bad side forever," he chuckles and swings his arm over your shoulders to drag you out.
"that's why i need you to find someone who understands enough," you pinch his sides which made him step back from the little pain.
"yeah, whatever," he pushes you to walk faster until you were at the fair.
mark eventually had fun, he can actually have fun by himself. he kept on jumping around- excited at the amount of games and rides.
any minute now, you were just staring at him full of admiration. you loved everything about him, his smile, his eyes, how he gets excited at small things, how he's passionate about what he wants to do, how he was with you.
everything suddenly went on slow motion, mark jumping around while his hair flew funnily. a small smile brought on your lips, as he faced you.
in the end, you have no choice but to accept it.
accept that he wasn't going to, and he can't reciprocate the kind of love you gave him.
his smile was different when he's with you, and when he's with the one he truly loved. his eyes shone different when he was with you, and brighter when he's with another girl.
but scratch that you have no choice- it was that you had to. if not, then what was the point in staying in this relationship?
"what is it you're thinking about so deep?" mark plops on the space beside you, heaving breaths he lost after jumping too much.
"mark, i have this other friend that has another best friend that's opposite of gender," you start.
"let me process that on my mind real quick," he answers seriously which made you chuckle.
"like us," you explained briefly which made him cut his thoughts and turn his attention back to you. he motioned you to continue, "well, i think she likes, hell- loves the guy. she was debating if she should confess or not, despite the feelings of the guy," you looked afar, afraid that mark might see through your lie.
"well," mark sighs. "i don't think she should."
"why?" you look curiously at him, and he was also looking afar.
"its the safest bet. look- if she confesses, there's a fifty-fifty percent chance. one, he feels the same. second, he doesn't and she'll be hurt, not only that, but also loses the friendship. but if she doesn't, then there's nothing to lose. she'll save the friendship, she'll save herself from getting hurt further." he smiles at you with sincere eyes. "don't you think?" he tilts his head sidewards while looking at you.
you bit the insides of your cheeks, preventing for your eyes to tear up. you give him a small smile, huffing.
"yeah, i think you're right." and he just saved you from doing it.
the day ended with mark walking you home, and you swallowing your feelings for him.
well, on the other side- mark knew.
he looks up at the starry sky outside your porch, sighing.
he knew it well. at first, he thought he just assumed too much. but it was all behind his head, it never left. when 'this friend' you talked about earlier, it all cleared his suspicions.
you never had a friend besides him that you talk with this kind of things.
he lightly chuckles at your dumbness, proceeded in walking home. he was sorry, but he had to. he had to change your mind to not confess, because he can't lose you too.
he was sorry he can't love you the way you loved him.
