𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 | 𝐤𝐩𝐨𝐩

Y O N G G U K ; B . A . P

➳ feedbacks are welcome in the comment section ♡

➳ enjoy ♡

➳ self harm ahead. read at your own risk

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3rd pov

you stare at the blank wall, sighing as you pull your knees to your chest and put your head down. you hug you knees, needing warmth.

for the nth time, you wait for him.

for the nth time, you still wait for him. 

you don't know what happened. eventually, him coming home in the morning became his habit. but you've always waited for him. it was tiring, and life-sucking.

you don't know where he's coming from, as far as you knew he was fired a long time ago in his job. you weren't aware if he found a new job, or you were shitting your head.

you knew he's been coming home from another home.

he's been cheating but you can't jump to conclusions since nothing was said.

you didn't know where it started, or how, you just felt it.

you confirmed it with your friend, saying he entered a house in their neighborhood as she was walking to her work.

but you chose not to believe her, and now you.. ended up like this. every night, not a single night missed, you reminisce your moments with yongguk. from the first year, to your fourth. the fifth year started uneasy, and goes on to this.

you cried silently as you, once again, stared at the blank wall in front of you, darkness swelling up the room as you turn off the lamp beside you. 

the blade shined on the bed, as you stared at it, it felt like it was talking to you. 

with trembling hands, you got it, as tears flow out of your eyes continuously.

you pointed the sharpest part at your neck, closing your eyes tightly as you shake tremendously due to the one you're doing. 

as if on cue, the door suddenly opens and yongguk sees you. 

"what the fuck!" yongguk shouts and runs to you to take the knife away from you.

"you're home early," you scoff lifelessly. 

the moment he took the knife away, it was as if he took the life away from you too. you felt your hot tears still flowing, but you still didn't move an inch.

he kneels in front of you and grabs your hand, his eyes questioning you.

"what?" you ask with no purpose.

"what the fuck were you thinking y/n? are you out of your mind? are you nuts?" he bursts out which made you laugh. "did you hit your head?" he shook you.

"no, yongguk-ah," you smirk which makes you look like a mess. your eyes were bloodshot, your hair was a mess, and you kept crying.

"then what the fuck is your problem?!" he shouts and stands up, frustrated.

"what the fuck is my problem?" you start and as you glare at him, you feel energy coming back to you to argue with him. "you are my problem!"

"what?!" he aimlessly asked back.

"these past few weeks, you're coming home late. i thought you got another job but then," you throw your hands up, "my friend saw you walking in another's house. apart from that, you come home in the morning, how fucked up is that!" you smile sarcastically and stand up.

"y/n--," he starts.

"no! let me finish!" you push him lightly which made him sigh. "i thought, no, maybe he has work there, but you've been smelling a lot like a woman, are you even aware?" you cry more, "no, no, no, let me ask another one. are you also aware that i've been waiting for you even though it took hours for you to come home? even though i'd see the sun and you're still not home? do you know how much that hurts me? that the instant you wake up, you prepare yourself to go to work again," you emphasize, "that even me, your girlfriend-- scratch that, fiancee, doesn't even know if its still work?" you breakdown. "that even though i knew you were cheating, i chose not to look at that side and believe you? do you know.. that even though you come home late, i embrace you.. thinking that at least, you were still coming home. " you slump on the floor.

"y/n, please," he gets down eye level with you but you hang your head low.

"do you know how much it hurts me.. that the house you've been going to.." you look at him and smile, a parting smile. "the one i've been always jealous of, my best friend?" you cry more, not even giving your eyes a break.

ever since high school, you were always jealous of your best friend. not just academic-related, but in anything you both do. you can't do anything about it since you treated her as a best friend. 

even though she took a lot from you.

yongguk stayed quiet, as he knew about everything about you. he knew what your fears were, might as well knew how you felt and was bothered by your best friend.

"do you know.. how much it hurts me.. that even you, she took from me?" you caress his face which was now all hurt, but it was too late. 

you get up, ran to where the knife was and held it. 

"goodbye, yongguk-ah. i'm tired." 

those were the last words you muttered and slit your neck with the knife. 

yongguk did not do anything but a single tear rolled in his face, the scene repeating over and over again in his head.

"y-y/n-ah," he slowly stood up to see you in your own pool of blood, and you striving having your last breaths. "no, no, no, no.." he kept mumbling while holding your neck pressure.

you stare at him, and at least, in your last memories, 

yongguk cared for you.

you smile at him, and closing your eyes, as finally, you felt you breathe your last breath.

"no! please y/n, stay with me."

"y/n," 

"please, i'm sorry, no.."

"i love you.."

were the last words you heard, before you turned your life to the afterlife.