Scripted Relationship

Chapter 42

ERIK

I put my car in halt just a meter away from the gate. I gazed at the house in front of me. It has been months since I last set foot in our family house here in New Manila. I turned off the engine and went out of the car to walk to our gate.

“Master Erik!” The woman shouted as she saw me coming towards the gate.

“Hi, Yaya Lita,” I said to the woman. “Is Mom here?”

“Yes po,” Yaya Lita gleefully answered. “Pasok po kayo, master. Ang tagal niyo na pong hindi bumalik dito sa mansyon.”

I entered the gate and saw that our house never changed. I went inside the house and gazed at the receiving area where our family portrait was located. It was a portrait of Dad, Mom and I when I was still nine years old.

“Tatawagin ko lang po si Madame,” Yaya Lita told me as she went upstairs.

After some moments of gazing at the portrait, Yaya Lita returned.

“Pumunta daw po muna kayo sa kuwarto niyo, master. May kausap lang po si Madame sa telepono.”

I thanked Yaya Lita with a smile and went up to my old room. I entered my room and found that it still the same, only neat and tidy. I remember the last time I was here, this was a complete mess. Well, I destroyed a jar or two in this room because of what happened to Dad. But to my surprise, the picture of Andrea and I was still there. They didn’t throw this out? I wondered. Maybe, they just wanted to keep my room in the same state.

“What brings you here, anak?” Mom said to me. I turned my back and saw her standing on the door.

“I just wanted to visit our house,” I replied to her as I put back the picture of Andrea and I.

“You haven’t told me about what happened in New York,” Mom said. “How did it go?”

I changed the topic because I needed some explanations from my Mom. “Why didn’t you tell me that Andrea will be our new endorser?”

Mom did not reply immediately. Instead, she walked in my room, took a chair from my table and sat on it in front of me. I, on the other hand, went to my bed and laid myself down. Mom let out a sigh before talking.

“Anak, I was afraid that you won’t go to New York because of Andrea. I knew how she hurt you in the past. But I couldn’t risk the ire of your grandmother if you did not go there.” Mom explained.

“At least, you could have told me about it so that I was able to prepare myself,” I said to her. “Because right now, I feel I am not making the right choices in my life. It frustrates me even more.”

I closed my eyes with my hands. I couldn’t bear Mom seeing me cry because of all that happened recently. I didn’t want her to see me as a weakling. Suddenly, I felt that Mom went to my bed and touched my head for comfort. I removed my hands which was already wet of tears and looked at her.

“I’m sorry, anak,” Mom said to me apologetically.

“Actually, it’s not even the reason why I am frustrated right now,” I explained to her as look up the ceiling. Mom was caressing my head like a child. Moments after, I looked at her in the eye.

“Mom, paano ka naka-move on kay Dad?”

Mom suddenly moved a little backward but without her hand leaving my head. She looked away for a while and then, she smiled and looked back at me again.

“Hindi naman ako talaga naka-move on sa Daddy mo. How can I move on with the man I loved?”

I was puzzled by her answer. “Talaga? Hanggang ngayon?”

“Alam mo, anak. Moving on is just a figure of speech. It refers to your well-settled decision to continue with your life. But it does not make you forget the person you love.”

“How can you live without the love of your life?”

“I chose to be brave. Brave enough to accept that he’s already gone. That he already left us so that he can go back to his Creator, while we go on with our lives. After your Dad died, I felt that I no longer have any purpose in living because God already took away the reason I live.”

Mom stopped for a bit and then continued.

“Pero na-realize ko na hindi lang ang Dad mo ang tanging taong binigay sa akin para mapagkunan ng lakas at saya upang mabuhay; to forget all the pain I felt when your Dad left us.”

“Huh? Who’s new guy? You’re not even telling me that.” Will everything be concealed to me by Mom? To my surprise, she simply chuckled upon hearing what I said.

“No, silly. I don’t need another man to be happy,” Mom said. “I have you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“Why me?”

“Because you are my son. You are the greatest gift of our love. Why would I go looking for another man if I already have you?”

I looked at Mom then I got up. I tried to control my tears from flowing from my eyes, but to no avail. Tears started rolling from my eyes as I looked at my smiling Mom in front of me.

“You made me be strong, Erik. You are the reason I live,” Mom said to me.

Out of the blue, I moved myself to hug Mom. At that moment, I let out all the pain and regret I had in my heart to my Mom. Mom hugged me back and caressed on my back.

“Iiyak mo lang, anak. Nandito lang ako.”

It made me cry harder. Of all the people, I never thought my Mom would give me this kind of comfort. The comfort I needed to at least lessen the heavy burden in my heart. After a while, I let go of the embrace and looked at Mom.

“I hurt Rose, Mom,” I said to her, stuttering like a child. “I hurt her because I cannot move on with Andrea. Naguguluhan na ako. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat kong gawin.”

Mom straightened herself and faced me while holding both of my shoulders like a little boy.

“Anak, let me ask you one thing,” Mom said to me. I looked at her intently, listened closely to what she will ask. “But you need to inhale and exhale three times. Can you do that?”

I nodded and inhaled and exhaled three times. I felt a little better like there was enough air in my head.

“Okay. Now close your eyes and listen to my voice carefully,” Mom instructed me as I complied.

“Who is the person who was there when you were at your lowest?  Who was brave enough to bring you up when you fell? Who taught you to become the better version of yourself? Who was there for you when you felt you’re the most imperfect person in the world?”

I saw an image of a girl. She was the first person who sprouted on my mind. All I saw then was her image when she smiles, when she laughs, when she smirk, when she pouts, when she show a blank face, and when she kissed me.

“Don’t tell me your answer,” Mom explained. “Because whoever it is, that person gave you the strength you needed. That is the person you really love. Sa kanya mo makukuha ang kalinawan sa lahat ng iyong kaguluhan.”

The girl was Rose.