Ahsoka One Shots

Untitled Part 26

This is another one of those "we'll figure it out eventually" chapters, I have zero idea where this'll end up, I'm just gonna scroll through my writing prompts board on Pinterest and find something.

Wish me luck haha

Okay I'm back and after some careful thought (aka me just trying to get my cheese together) I've decided to do a story that may be triggering to some people, so trigger warning for topics surrounding negative body image <3

Sometimes she was too loud. Sometimes she was too demanding. Sometimes she was too fat, sometimes she was too skinny. Sometimes it was her facial markings, sometimes it was her lekku, sometimes it's her height, but it didn't matter what it was, something was always there.

Today was too fat. She had been so focused the day before on completing a mission, she didn't have time to hate herself. But now Ahsoka stood in front of a mirror alone in the middle of the night, and she found every possible reason to hate herself, focusing on the fat on her stomach. Then her arms where muscles protruded.

Ahsoka pinched at the small amount of fat left on her stomach where it had started coming back in after a day of rest. She had been working so hard, training and going on missions, she usually could show off her six pack to her vod on her days off. But something about today held bloating, and in place of her usually prominent abs was a layer of soft skin, to a point where she could only see a trace of the muscles.

If she had been alone in their quarters Ahsoka would have spoken out loud, grumbled, growled, anything verbal to hate herself even louder. Instead the voices in her head only grew louder.

What's wrong with me that I can't even keep my abs with one day off?

Why did I agree to go out for lunch with Padme?

It's a good thing I can cover my stomach with my dress

It'd be better to skip breakfast tomorrow, head to the training rooms.

She continued chipping away at what little self esteem she held. Realizing that Anakin would wonder where she was if she didn't leave the refresher soon, she pulled her oversized sleep shirt down and her leggings further up to hide her stomach. The sound of the door swooshing open seemed to echo louder in the quiet dorm.

"'Night Snips," Anakin said to her, putting a hand on her shoulder as they walked past each other, Anakin towards the refresher, and Ahsoka towards her bedroom.

"Night." She said back, it a slightly meeker voice than before.

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The next morning when Anakin woke up, Ahsoka was nowhere to be found. It wasn't late, but it wasn't early either. She was gone before 0700 that morning. Ahsoka had left nearly an hour before to train, despite her still technically being at rest from her previous, and rather strenuous mission. The last thing she should be doing is training, but here she was, in the training room, practicing various flips, turns, and defensive moves.

Anakin usually ate breakfast with Ahsoka and was determined to find her. First he called Rex who was always up early to see if she was at the barracks, and when he was sure she hadn't snuck in somehow (for what reason she would have, he wasn't even sure) he checked the mess hall to see if she had just gone early. She had left her comm in her room so calling her was pretty out of the question. Finally, by some dumb luck, Anakin ran into her in the hallways going back towards her room.

"Snips, where've you been? You left your comm in your room and I was starting to worry." He stopped her by gently grabbing her shoulder, leading her towards the mess hall for breakfast.