Ahsoka One Shots

Exhale, Part 2

For Ahsokafan45, here's Ahsoka being hurt/stressed/angry at being a child in a war. I know you liked Exhale so I'll be going off that one again. Thanks for your support!!

Since the last one was more saddening, this one will be more based on anger, hurt, stress, all that jazz, but totally has Ahsoka being sad. There will be some more self indulgent sibling cuddles as well.

Lastly, this is the 97th chapter. That's pretty epic if you ask me. Eventually I'll have to either end this book or start a second one (bc the chapter limit is 200 I believe), more likely start a second one bc I'm too attached to all y'all to just ditch lol

All that being said...

Enjoy :)

"What do you think Ahsoka?"

I wonder what the 'fectory is having for dinner.

"Ahsoka?"

They'd better have something raw this time.

"Ahsoka!" Anakin's urgent voice snapped her back into reality. "What's up with you? I was asking you what you thought of the battle plans." Ahsoka whipped her head towards where her master and Captain were both looking at her strange. "C'mon, give me some feedback here."

She looked at him with mild annoyance, then at the holo-table in front of them displaying a map of some planet's surface.

"Looks fine to me."

Anakin stared at her with the same annoyance before continuing on, Ahsoka only paying slightly more attention.

----------------

When the two left the briefing room Anakin was on her tail, immediately questioning her about her spacing during the mission planning. "Ahsoka, what was that? We're supposed to be working on your battle strategy, not daydreaming."

Anger flared within her, and before she could make any attempt to calm it was snapping at her master. She turned on her heel, lekku turning a shade darker in annoyance. "Well what if I don't want to learn about battle strategy?" She puffed out her cheeks slightly. "What if I don't want to practice katas, and learn to shoot a blaster, and learn first aid, what if I don't want to be in this kriffing war!" Anakin's face flashed a combination of surprise and concern, both being reinforced through their force-bond. "Master I'm sick of this! I didn't ask for this!" 

Before Anakin could say anything, Ahsoka flew down the hallway and towards their quarters.

The first thing she did upon reaching her room was throw the blankets off her bed, then the sheets, then violently remake them. By the time her comforter was back on her bed, she was settled. A tactic Obi-Wan had taught her, saying it worked wonders for Anakin when he was a Padawan. Grabbing a holo-pad with an unfinished assignment on it, Ahsoka settled on her newly made bed and started; if only to be interrupted less than two minutes later by Anakin knocking.

"Snips? Can we talk?"

Sighing, she yelled back in the hopes that if she didn't talk about it, her anger could be curbed and wouldn't resurface. "Later, master. I have too much homework."

Anakin sighed from the other side of the door in return. "Ten minutes won't kill you. You can't walk away from this." With a grunt she rolled off the bed leaving the holo-pad on her desk, answering the door with a poker face of sorts.

"Don't make me remake my bed again, I don't need to be any more angry with some speech about emotions."

"I wasn't going to lecture you on the code, Ahsoka, I was going to ask if you're okay." 

Anakin looked at her with a gentle expression, waiting for her to move aside and let him in. Reluctantly, she flopped back down on her bed, head facing the wrong direction and waited for him to sit, likely at her desk. "Did I sound like I was okay?" She replied, ever snippy. At her reply Anakin did move, but not to sit at her desk, instead opting to sit on her bed and gather her head in his lap, stroking her lekku as he did when she first became his Padawan; she was barely fourteen then.

She purred at his touch, something he had quickly gotten used to but still caught him off guard sometimes. "What's going on inside that head of yours?"

Ahsoka hesitated, hoping she didn't end up crying before the day was over (however unlikely that was). "I don't know who I am anymore, Master. All I am now is battle strategies and military titles." Anakin nodded, prodding at their bond and encouraging her to continue. "I want to win the war, I do, but at what cost? My childhood?"

Mer master sighed, pulling Ahsoka further into his lap and leaning back against the cold durasteel wall. "I don't know why, I really don't." Ahsoka burrowed further into his tunic, letting out a soft noise of appreciation as he continued. "If I could take you out of all this I would. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault I got thrown into a war, blame the council for sending fourteen year olds to their death."

"I know it's rough, but it's not just the council, war has spread the Jedi thin, and-" Anakin defended halfheartedly, being cut off by Ahsoka pulling back to star him in the eye.

Ahsoka half sobbed, half screamed, any hope that she wouldn't cry being thrown out the window. "Not just their fault? They make the final decision, they decided to participate in the war, they're the ones making teenagers Commanders in armies! It's completely their fault!" She assumed Anakin would fight back at this point, being the ever emotional person he was, but he stood his ground and tried to keep her calm before anything was broken. "Stand up," She demanded. He looked at her confused. "Stand up!" He obliged, sensing the anger bubbling over inside her. The moment his feet hit the floor Ahsoka was throwing the sheets and blanket off her bed in a blind rage, pacing around her room once before going to remake it.

Anakin watched, mildly amused at her now almost-black lekku, flushed cheeks and all, making her bed. After a few minutes of tense silence Ahsoka flopped back onto her bed and curled into a fetal position. "You good now?" She nodded. "Not gonna get angry anymore?" She shook her head. "Good, now I can try and comfort you again." Ahsoka scooted herself over for Anakin to sit, back in their original position, Ahsoka leaning on his chest while Anakin leaned against the bedroom wall. There they sat in silence for a few minutes, the Master gently rocking his Padawan back and forth as she tried to hold back tears from her outburst. Anakin heard a small sniff come from his chest, reacting the best way he could and pulled her closer. You can cry, he sent over their bond.

In response, Ahsoka didn't just cry, no, she sobbed herself numb, Anakin shushing her and humming old lullabies from when he was a kid on Tatooine. He had a feeling the anger was over and all that was left was sadness. Pure, melancholic misery swept over her in waves as she cried into his tunic. When she had no more tears left to cry, Ahsoka was left silent and numb, wishing sleep would take her way so she didn't have to try and go back to normal life after that episode.

Her wish was granted as soon as Anakin heard the thought, sending her a gentle sleep suggestion. I've got you, he whispered through their bond just before she fell asleep. In response she sent a lazy burst of gratefulness back, succumbing to sleep before any words could leave her mouth.

It wasn't okay, not yet, but she was asleep. Small mercies, he supposed.

Have a good day/night/whatever and I'll see you when I see you :) 

                                                                                                             -AB