Forever.

•Chapter 63•

*Emily's POV*
My mom ended up picking me up from the hospital. I needed to go home. I needed to be alone. We arrived at my house and I went straight to my room. I laid in my bed and started to cry again. It wasn't his time. He had so much to live for. Tomorrow is Saturday so I don't have to go to school. I can stay in my room all day if I needed to. Then I fell asleep. I didn't have any dreams that night. Nothing. Just darkness around me. At 9:30 a.m. I woke up. My cheeks were still damp. I've never cried so hard in my life. I didn't feel like moving so I just laid there in my bed, motionless. Then I got a phone call. It was a number I didn't know, but the caller was from Virginia. I picked up the phone and heard James' mom on the other line. "Will you speak at James' funeral?" She asked. "Definitely." I responded. Then she hung up. I got up and grabbed some paper and a pen. How was I supposed to write everything I wanted to say on a piece of paper. I tried writing, but nothing came to mind. So I just wrote down, "Speak the unwritable." To me, this meant to make it memorable. Not to make it too sad or too happy. To make it truthful. This was the closest to a goodbye as I could get, so I needed to make it special. But it won't be special if it is planned out and I read it word for word. Then I got a text from Matt. It read, "Did you get asked to speak at the funeral too?" I responded with a yes. Then I put my phone down. I decided that James wouldn't want me to sulk, so I got up and went downstairs. My mom made breakfast and I ate some. My appetite wasn't big, but I knew I needed to eat something. I was quiet as my mom and Melissa talked amongst themselves. Then I finally spoke up, "I was asked to speak at his funeral." My mom looked at me with a sympathetic smile, "Oh honey that's great." She said. "Yeah, what are you going to say?" Asked Melissa. "I don't know. I'm going to wing it." I replied. My mom looked at me with the 'are you serious' look. "I know. I know. But I just can't figure out what to write down. I'll figure something out." I reassured her. The wake was on Sunday and the actual funeral itself was on Monday. Right now, I needed to find a dress to wear. I don't think I have anything black though. Maybe my mom will bring me out to buy one today. "Mom can you take me out I but a dress?" I asked. "Sure, let's go." She responded.