Freedom: Levi Fanfiction

| Happiness

18



It was the first time-- the first time Levi felt things were in control. Ever since he was a child, everything was beyond his control. He was born in a hell hole where no one received sunlight, devoid of energy and freedom. His only hope was his mother. But when that hope died, all the light in his heart died out as well. He thought he had a curse. Everyone that he loved deeply would, later on, disappear from his life.


But then she appeared. The warm sunlight hiding under the masks of gray clouds. He knew she cared deeply for her comrades yet she was desperate not to show it. Levi felt they were the same. But when she started to show herself, he realized she was different. All this time, she wanted to cry, scream and let out her pain and so did he. He didn't know how to be happy-- truly happy but she did. 


After being deprived of sunlight, a woman so bright appeared in his life. He wanted to run away from this light-- because it wasn't something he was used to. He didn't want to care-- she cared. He didn't want to risk anything-- she risked her own to save him. Everything he didn't want to do, she did. She was like a curse. One that would never go away. But this time... he wanted to embrace it. 


He followed Iris to her home, walking side by side in silence. With her hands behind her back, Iris smiled as she turned around to say goodbye. "You didn't have to bring me home." 


He crossed his arms and sighed. "It's fine." Levi stared. It was clear what he wanted-- a hug. But heaven knows how difficult it was to express his feelings. What happened earlier was a spur-of-the-moment type of situation. Iris took it upon herself to initiate contact. His eyes widened slightly when she embraced him in her arms. 


        "Stay safe," he blurted out randomly. Stay safe? From what? She tilted her head in confusion. Her eyes latched onto the sight of his clenched fist. 


Levi couldn't say anything else. He only watched her expression. "Just... don't wander around causing trouble for yourself." 


He was scared, that was the truth. Levi was scared to lose her. Not after he's lost almost everyone but himself. Seeing how her smile lit up everyone's day, Levi didn't want it gone. He then showed her a faint smile. It was as if the happiness he felt earlier disappeared after the grim reminder of the cruel world. 


He held her head tight before letting go. Showing her a faint smile, he ruffled her hair before turning around to leave. "You stay safe. Give me a few months. I promise I'll be back." He nodded. 


                                                                             December 844

Months rolled around and Iris was hesitant in telling her mother. Last night, she stared hard at her uniform and gear. She loved the calm life. She loved not worrying about anything else other than what to cook for lunch and dinner. But Hanji's question sat in her brain for the longest time. Can she just sit still knowing that her friends sacrificed their lives for freedom? Knowing that Levi and her closest friends were risking their lives out there? 


There was no point in lamenting. There was no point in holding herself back. She's a soldier. A scout who was chosen to protect the people. She's had enough of being a coward. 


The next morning, news spread around that another expedition had taken place. Surely, a bunch of lives were taken away and another crowd of angered people has gathered around the scouts. Eren, Mikasa and Iris watched as Erwin and the others walked toward their headquarters. It was all too familiar. Sad faces, defeated soldiers, and parents deprived of their children. It was the same as before. 


When a man caused a riot and blamed the scouts for the increase in their taxes, the crowd followed. They all started to shout questions-- questions that Erwin couldn't even answer. This is humanity. And it was no further than disappointing. 


Levi rode on his horse, his cloak hiding his face from the crowd. She desperately looked for him, trying to see if he was there. When they both locked each other's eyes, a breath of relief escaped their mouths. They couldn't help it. The person she liked was safe, her friends were safe as well. Who wouldn't be happy? 


While the rest of the scouts returned to their headquarters, Levi decided to go to the river where they'd promised to meet each other. She smiled as she watched the man wait silently while watching the river. 


         "Welcome back," she greeted from behind. He placed his cloak down to see her and when he did, his face lightened up.


         "Yeah. It's been one hell of a trip." 


         "I'm sure you're tired."


        He nodded once. "Maybe. But it's all part of the deal." His gear was heavy. The longer he wore it the more it wore him down. But there was nothing heavier than carrying the weight of his comrades' deaths.


        "Tomorrow, I'll ask Erwin to re-join," she told him. There was hesitation in his eyes. Levi gulped, his mind forming conflicting opinions. He leaned his head against her shoulder, exhausted from all the fighting he's done. When he felt her warm hand on his nape, there were shivers down his spine. What did he really want? He spent a lot of time convincing her to join back but now that she's made up her mind, he's conflicted. An annoyed groan left his mouth. 


        "I'm fucking tired," he complained. 


        "It's so damn confusing. I don't want to stop you but I don't want to risk your life anymore either." 


Her brows curved up as she embraced him in her arms. "Did you forget? I'm a soldier just like you. My times of playing housewife are done. And I can't let my friends risk their lives without doing anything. You know that right?"


Yeah. He figured. She is hard-headed, after all. There was nothing he could do about it. His mind was hazy. All he wanted to do was lay down and rest. When he pulled his dagger out of the small pocket attached to his belt, Iris gasped. 


         "Let's make a pact."


         "A what?" She looked at him seriously. What was going through Levi's head? She didn't know. However, it turned even more confusing when the man bravely slit a small surface of his thumb, a small drop of blood spilled down. He looked up at her, a sad smile appeared on his face. 


         "Promise me you'll stay safe." She felt her heart clench. So this is what it was about. Two months ago, he said the same thing. Stay safe. Her heart tightened as she let out a sigh of relief. She was grateful that it wasn't anything too bad. But after thinking quickly about it, she realized where this came from. Levi lost two of his dearest friends. No matter how you looked at it, she knew he was afraid. 


Saddened by her thoughts, Iris took the dagger from his hand and did the same, biting her lip as she silently winced in pain. They touched their thumbs together, mixing each other's blood along with a promise.


         "I promise." 


Soon enough, they wrapped their injured wounds with a small cloth. They stared blankly at the river in front of them. It's funny how many times they've done this yet it felt new every time. It's the small simple thing that brought them joy.