Freedom: Levi Fanfiction

| Denial, fear and... Shiganshina

20

- 845 -

It shouldn't be that hard. Asking Grisha more questions shouldn't be this intimidating yet Iris sat in front of her father, almost hyperventilating at the thought. And she wondered why she delayed asking him. This was why. He was the kindest man. But good Lord, Grisha's aura was intimidating. They sat at the dining table opposite each other while Carla was in the kitchen. 


       "F-father... can I ask you something?" He raised his brows and eyes from the book he was reading. She gulped. Here it goes...

        "About my parents... that is. Did you know them?" He froze. Iris was right-- at least she assumed she was right. Grisha was hiding something from her. 


The long-haired man, face absorbed in exhaustion, sighed. "Are we doing this again?" Iris nodded.


I suppose answering this question won't do any harm. He thought. "Yes. I knew them-"


        "Then why did we live outside the walls? Why didn't we just live here?" His grey eyes revealed themselves more when his eyes widened. It was harder than it seemed. Grisha kept his composure. Although his clenched fists said otherwise. He had to remain calm, otherwise, he would've broken his promise.


        "I... I don't know, Iris." 


She shook her head in disbelief. Hell no. Iris didn't want to take that for an answer. "You're hiding something. Why can't you just tell me?" 


        "Because It's for your safety." At this point, Carla already noticed the tension rising in the air. The faucet she just closed leaked small droplets of water, producing rain-like sounds. The sounds of the wooden floor creaked as she walked toward them. There was extreme silence.


         "What... are you saying? Safety? My parents died because we had no safety. Please! Just tell me anything you know," Iris was begging. She needed answers. The death of her real parents remained fresh in her heart. She thought she'd gotten over it but it was still painful.


         "I can't-"


         "Why do you never tell me about anything!" Despite her utmost attempt at keeping calm, Iris couldn't control her emotions anymore. She banged her fist against the table, causing his book to bounce. Her yell made Carla panic. She'd never seen her daughter act like this before. 


        "You- you never even told me what really happened to Eren and Mikasa! You kept it hidden!"


        "Do not bring my son into this!" he rebutted, refusing to give the same energy. The yells of the adults caused the two kids their curiosity. They ran downstairs toward the commotion, only to freeze upon seeing the argument happening.


           "Father! Were my parents bad people? W-were they kicked outside the walls?! What did they do?!"


Grisha could feel the fear in his chest take over. He did not know how to avoid any of her questions anymore. Why... why did they have to pay for his own mistakes? They were good people-- good enough to sympathize with him. Now, their own daughter is paying the price. "Enough. Please. In this world, ignorance is bliss. I can't nor will I ever tell you about the truth."


She held back, biting her lips so hard that it bled. "Father-"


          "I am not your father!" Grisha exclaimed the anger he's been trying to contain. He jolted up, his arms quickly travelled toward Iris's shoulders. He knotted his brows in frustration, each second his grasp grew tighter and tighter.


          "Listen Iris. Your father is Daine Schmidt. You cannot forget his name. Don't forget his face. There's a reason why I cannot tell you now! Please understand! " He rocked her back and forth, his voice was almost too haunting, too brittle that it sounded like he'd snap any minute. The fear in his voice caused Iris tremendous trauma. He was trying to say something within his words-- as if he was pleading. Iris stared at him with eyes wide. What the hell is he saying?


She slapped his hands away and protested in anger. "Do you think I would ever forget them?!  THEY WERE EATEN BECAUSE WE LIVED OUTSIDE THE DAMN WALLS. Just tell me! Tell me why they had to die that way?! TELL ME WHY I HAD TO WATCH THEM GET EATEN! WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU?! WHAT?!" All was too late for her to calm down. Iris was yelling, screaming in pain, causing a huge ruckus and even Carla couldn't restrain her. 


Eren watched, his eyes tearing up at his big sister's sudden breakdown. He felt Mikasa's hand around his arm and when he turned around, he was shocked to see tears welling in her eyes. They had never seen Iris that way-- never. Eren wanted to hug her, to try to calm her down but she was too volatile that a frail boy like him wouldn't do anything. 


Tears welled in Grisha's eyes while he grabbed his hat and bag. He had no other choice but to leave. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry Iris." While their daughter bawled her eyes out in pain and sorrow, Grisha's eyes gravitated toward Eren. 


         "Eren... Take care of Iris. When I come back, I promise I'll show you what's under the basement," he said reluctantly and showed the key that hung around his neck. He sounded like he was on the verge of crying. Eren had always wanted to know what was in the basement but... he wasn't glad. Especially after seeing his big sister crying in pain. Why was she denied information and not him? What made him so special? 


         "FATHER!" Iris called out, running toward the door in a quick second before he could leave but it was too late. She felt hopeless, a key to her identity had just been denied by someone she trusted. Iris's chest was tight, it was so painful that she had a hard time breathing. She slammed the wooden floor and called out one last time, "MR. JAEGER!" But it was too late. 


Iris was gasping for air and Carla immediately came to the rescue. She embraced her in her arms and caressed her hair, whispering soothing words into her ear. The two came running toward her and held her arm. 


          "Sister! P-please, don't cry..." Eren, with his tiny little body, hugged her tightly.