Second Sphere

Permission slip

"I didn't enjoy killing. I never did. But without the fight," I shrug my shoulders, "there's nothing left. So I kept fighting. I tried finding peace, leaving it all behind. I lasted two years doc." I explain.

Dr. Raynor doesn't say anything just continues to listen.

"Even after that fight a part of me still expected to see him at my trial. He never showed and that broke me even more. The next time I saw him he had drastically changed. His hair was cut, he had moved forward. When he saw me he just walked the other way. That's when I started seeing you instead of my old therapist. And you said to 'give him space' and that he would come around eventually. The more time goes on the more I doubt that." I sit up from my slouched position. "I can't help but feel the mental pull to him, that's all Hydra's doing. I can feel the steps he takes forward leaving it behind, but I can also feel his frustration where he is still trapped in it all. Ever since the blip, the connection was stronger and I don't have the same control I used to."

"Is it that you don't want to have the same control? Are you just trying to hold him closer now because you already lost him once. So it's not actually that your ability is stronger, it's just more demanding. You also didn't use this for five years, it's natural your control would lapse." Dr. Raynor offers.

"Is it? None of my other quote on quote skills have lapsed in that time." I retort.

"You didn't use your mental capabilities for five years, your other skills you did." Dr. Raynor isn't amused.

"No I did. It's not just Bucky I can affect, I can affect others as well. Where Wanda can read their thoughts or project illusions, I can just read their emotions, or in turn project emotions." I explain.

"What does that entail?" Dr. Raynor asks cautiously.

"I may not be able to make them see their worst fears, but I can make them feel like they are. Just a wave of dread with no discernible cause." I look up at the ceiling. "It was a tactic Hydra was fond of. It was good for interrogation, or controlling people."

"Did you use it to control Bucky?" Dr. Raynor asks.

I shoot a glare at her, "Never. Hydra tortured his mind enough, I did what I could to protect it. To put the pieces back together, to bring some humanity back to him. Without it, he was unstable and rash and brutally violent much to Hydra's delight. I only ever offered him peace and comfort. That was the only emotions I would give him if he wanted it, and I always asked first." I sit up from my slouched position. "Hydra would put Bucky in Cryostasis and during that time I was mainly used to torture or work with the other potential soldiers Zemo killed."

"Why do it then?" Dr. Raynor asks.

"I had no choice, without me they would do much worse to Bucky. And when I say he was all I had I meant it. They pit us against each other a few times to train but I wasn't their main fighter. Bucky was right in that at least. They used him to keep me in check and me to ensure he wouldn't run away. We we each other's handlers if he realizes it or not." I explain to her.

"And now that you're not, what do you do?" Dr. Raynor prompts.

"Aside from my mandated sessions with you, I work with Sam. We have a mission tomorrow. Speaking of," I slide a crumpled paper from my pocket and pass it to her. "I need your signature saying I'm fit to go." 

She looks amused at the paper, "A permission slip?"

I roll my eyes, "It's for an international trip. Sign the damn paper please."

She relents and signs, "I think we've covered more than enough for now. I'll see you at our next session."