Refresh: Extras

Raven Pt. 1

   Warning! Suicidal Thoughts and attempt. 

   The night air nipped at my face in an uncomfortable way. It was quiet beyond belief. The world was asleep. No one made a sound. 

   I wiped under my eyes with a sniffle. Gosh this is pathetic. Get yourself together Raven. You're better than this. 

   I was always the odd one out. One to many. I never felt like a part of the group... Jessie and Morang were too old. Goth and Palette were a thing. Clover and Valentine had this weird bickering thing. Crayola and Seven were twins. Its not fair. One too many...

   I wiped under my eyes again. They like Goth more anyway. Papa and Dad. I was an accident. They were drunk. They were happy with Morang and Goth. They were happy without me. 

   No point in going back. I looked down towards the rocky cliff below. Only a little ways from home. The bridge was quiet and away from my house. None of my family would find me here.

   Gothy would surely be happy to not have me to "compete" for Palette. Not that I really liked Palette that way... Morang... Well Morang was in college. Papa and Dad would be glad to get rid of their little accident. 

   Milky light was starting to flood the horizon. Gotta do it. People would start coming around soon. Papa and Dad might come looking. I sucked in a deep breath. 

   My soul pounded in my ribcage. Stars I was terrified. The ground looked so far away. My hands were practically frozen to the railing. I had been standing on the wrong side of the rails for hours just clinging to it trying to gather the courage. 

   My left hand slowly uncurled. My right began to and I shifted leaning forward. My hood was yanked back tugging me back to the right side of the railing. 

   A boy stared at me with wide terrified eyes. He was in jogging attire. "Are you okay!? I'm sorry I grabbed you. Please don't do that!" He had tears building in his eyes. They were blue diamonds. 

   I looked back to the other side of the railing. So close. Not tonight... I stood up and brushed myself off. "Heh. Thanks for that. Dunno what I was thinking. I'm so dumb sometimes." I offered my hand to help him up and a warm (fake) smile. He ruined my chance. Who knew when I'd get the courage again.

   He sniffled and took it. "Are you okay?" He took the hand.

   "I'm fine. No biggie." I waved it off. "I just wanted to look."

   He frowned in a cute pouty way. "Liar. You're lucky I was around!"

   Sure. Lucky. Totally. "Sure thing Lucky."

   "That's not my name."

   "What is it then?" 

   "Blueprint."

   "Raven." I offered a handshake. What the hell am I doing. I was so close to ending it all. I don't need to be making friends with the one who thwarted my plan. 

   He smiled and wiped his tears. "You seem nice." He took my hand again. 

   "Mhmm." Papa would be awake by now. Time to go. "I gotta run."

   "Are... Are you sure you're okay?" He gave a worried look. 

   "Yup. Right as rain! See ya around Lucky." I winked and turned on my heels. Back home. Back to pretending.