Refresh: Extras

I'll Let Myself Believe

This is one I've actually been thinking about for a while. Usually I write from Fresh's point of view. Not today. Have some Error angst :3

   I sighed softly and curled my knees closer to my chest. Fresh still hadn't been found. Was he gone forever? What if he never came back?
   Is this my fault? Probably. I was always an ass to him. Maybe he finally did something with that big brain of his and left. I wouldn't be surprised.
   I pressed my palms to the sides of my head. Everything is too loud. The silence was too loud. It spoke volumes. It said 'Look what you did. You drove him away. He's gone. Nothing is there to make noise now.'
   Somewhere I knew this wasn't true. Fresh was smarter than that. He wouldn't leave on purpose. My brain decided not to believe that.
   Somewhere downstairs a plate shattered. I heard mom faintly curse. She was up late again. She hasn't been sleeping well.
   The shatter made me jump. I pressed my palms harder. I was trembling. Im gonna crash. Im gonna crash if this gets worse.
   "Error?" The voice was hoarse. He shouldn't be out of bed! Hes sick!
   "Go away Geno!" I snapped curling in on myself more. My breath came in shallow gasps. Tears streaked down my face. Its so hard to breathe. My voice shook my entire body.
   "Mom!!" I heard Geno yell. No! Don't tell mom! Shes stressed enough. She can't worry about me right now.
   I couldn't force any words out. I simply curled in on myself. Too loud. Why am I not crashing? That would be better than this.
   "Error. Error honey you have to uncurl. You'll make yourself sick like that." Ma reached to touch my shoulder.
   I flinched like she burned me. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I snarled my voice glitching harshly.
   "Error..." Geno's voice wavered with fear.
   I hiccuped lightly and pulled my knees closer. "Leave me alone!!!"
   "Error honey. You need to uncurl. You can't breathe right like that." Ma tried again.
   This time I didn't flinch. I buried my face in her shirt. "Mommy! It's all my fault. If I wasn't so mean to Fresh would he still be here?"
   Mom seemed stunned. She pet my head. "Oh Error. This isn't your fault. How long have you been holding this in?"
   I was breathing weird still. I didn't answer.
   "Error. This isn't your fault," Mom whispered and lifted her hand. Most likely to wave Geno away since I heard steps.
   "I'm sorry,"  I hiccuped.
   "I know honey.." She pulled me closer. "It'll be okay..." She didn't know that. She knew I knew she was lying.
   "Don't lie to me... Geno isn't here..." I muttered into her shirt.
   Mom sighed. "Things are bad. Geno is getting sicker. Fresh might not be found. But it'll be okay. I've got you."
   For a minute I let myself believe her.