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IT WAS SCARY.
The feeling of loving someone terrified me, I was eighteen and I'd never felt like this about anyone before. Noah was great, he was a gentleman and he treated me wonderfully but he was never lingering on the back of my mind twenty-four seven. Never. Not like him. I was nervous and I felt like I was constantly reaching out for clarity and not getting anything.
One day, Finn was nice to me and made me feel special. The next, he'd treat me like everyone else, like I was a brick wall. He would smile at me and flirt with me and be jealous, then he would be cold and only manage to choke out a mutter to me. It made no sense to me, I was so confused.
"Hey... Finn..." I choked my words out nervously as I approached him at the lockers.
"Hey." the ravenette gave me a smile which made my heart practically melt. "Are you okay?" he raised a brow as he noticed I didn't reply and was just staring at him.
"What! Yes! I'm fine, I'm great I uh- yeah I'm good, I'm alright." I stumbled over my words. God I was such a mess. Having feelings for someone should not cause me this much anxiety. "Can we have a party tonight?"
"Wow, spontaneous, I like it." Finn smirked in reply. "I'll ask the boss." He winked before walking away and I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid and out of the blue, I also felt embarrassing as I was haunted with the feeling he thought I was weird. I took a deep breath and carried on with my day.
-
FINN'S POV
"Can we have a party tonight?" Sadie blurted out, seemingly out of the blue. I raised my eyebrows in confusion as I was surprised by her sudden eagerness to throw a party. She'd been acting strange as hell lately, I agreed and told her I'd ask Chosen, or "the boss."
To my fortune, he was in my next class. "Hey, bud, party tonight?"
"Sure, but you're cleaning up." my friend joked in reply. I agreed with a chuckle and we carried on with our work for around twenty minutes in silence, but I felt it hard to concentrate with Sadie lingering on my mind. She'd been acting so weird lately and it seemed to be only exclusive to me, I was confused. Did she not like me?
"Is Sadie okay?" I finally choked out the question that was clouding my mind.
"Uh, yeah?" Chosen raised a brow, setting down his own, "Why do you ask?"
"Basically, she's been acting really weird around me for like the past couple of weeks or so... and only me! I don't know if I've done something wrong or anything, I mean I hope I haven't, but she's just been really awkward around me. Stuttering and stuff, you know?" I explained. I watched as the boy's face turned from a confused expression to a huge grin across his cheeks. "What?"
"She likes you."
"What?"
"Yeah... I mean you're obviously the only one who doesn't see it." he shrugged. I felt my heart ache, no one had a crush on me since god knows how long. And Sadie? I began to feel nervous and attempted to shake the feeling off. Did she actually like me?
"Are you being sarcastic?" I probed, still in denial that a girl like her would every have feelings for me. Chosen chuckled and shook his head, reassuring me he was being fully serious. I felt sick. Not because she was ugly or anything, god, she was beautiful, maybe because I was nervous? I rubbed my head and contemplated whether to confront her about her feelings or not.
I settled on "no" as I reminded myself that I wasn't going to settle down with someone. I didn't like her, not like that. Sure we were friends, but I swore I'd never let anyone in again, not after what happened.
