Saviour

I don't want this!

y/ns pov

"No?" You know that feeling when you go on a roller-coaster and your stomach seems to have left you on the top of the drop? I felt that except as the silence grew longer the feeling turned to a pain. Pain. Thats all I felt at that moment I didn't even notice when Natasha lifted my head up so we were looking dead in the eyes. Stray tears leaked from the corners of her emerald orbs. She just looked at me trying to give an explanation. An ear-piercing scream ripped through the endless silence and as I shut my eyes, tears still crawling through the gaps, all the pain subsided and I was left with the pleasant echo of my scream and anguish. "Why?" The discomfort in my voice was clear as I spoke to Natasha with a hoarse voice.

"I- I vowed to my self I would never let you feel pain and-"

"Feel no pain? YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME ABOUT PAIN! I LOST MY MOTHER, MY FATHER, I ALMOST LOST MY BROTHER... and now you. Every second we are apart a dull aching insists on ripping my heart to shreds and when I thought you were dead... I didn't have the will to move, drink, eat... live. My life without you is no life worth living. You are my universe, my every move revolves around you and- and if you don't feel the same way... I can't do this anymore Natasha."

"Do- do what?" The tears now were streaming down our faces. She pressed her forehead against mine and I felt only then how hot I was. I flinched away and stood up.

"Life, love, everything a soul needs to survive... you were my saviour Natasha. No. You are my saviour, you always will be..." I walked over to the balcony and stepped to the edge. " I JUST WISH I WAS SOMEONE YOU LOVED!" I stepped off the edge and was engulfed by a sense of relief and the noise of the wind rushing past me. I saw a hazy figure reaching down towards my limp body, their hysterical scream echoing around New York. Suddenly realisation hit me like a truck, I don't want to die! That was Natasha up there, screaming and in pain because of me! No I don't want this! I used every fibre in my body to produce a portal (and just in time might I add). My hair brushed the sidewalk and suddenly I fell onto a familiar comfortable sofa. The adrenalin running in my blood stream stopped me from passing out immediately and so I sat bolt upright and went to leave, portals are easier outside and I really need the easier option at this moment in time.

"Y/n?" I turned around, retracing my steps, sprinting into Aarons arms.

"I messed up Aaron! I- I've lost her... again! She told me no and I pushed her, I pushed her Aaron I pushed her until I broke! Aaron she's gone! I can't do it without her! I- I can't live without her!" 

"Oh hunny its ok. It's ok." Aaron stroked the hair out of my face and looked me dead in the eyes "You want her, yes?" I nodded "Then you go get her tiger!" I smiled and ran out the front door, through the portal and landed in the hall of the fourth floor of Starks tower. I sprinted down the hall until I reached me and Natashas room. I lost my footing a couple of times whilst running and was practically on my knees in front of the door.

"Oh this feels way to familiar." I mumbled to my self. As I knocked on the door I heard sobs and screams of pain coming from the other side. I managed to make out somethings

"she's gone."

"Its all my fault!" 

"Oh y/n why did you do that!" and,

"There wasn't even a body to bury!" 

I knocked on the door more insistently this time.

"GO AWAY TONY, ITS TO LATE... she's gone."

"I'm no Tony but I can over some 4 star rated sarcasm?" The door swung open and a puffy eyed Natasha stared back at me wide eyed and thrilled "Hey sweet cheeks-" Suddenly I was tackled to the ground in a hug, Embraced in a joy-filled hug by the one and only Black Widow. After about a minute of sitting there in content silence Natasha whispered in my ear,

"Tony yelled at me and sent me to my room to think about what i'd done. I think ive come to a new conclusion... yes y/n if the offer still stands, I would love to marry you... I think Tonys exact words were 'I swear to god the only right answer to that question was yes! Yes! A million times yes!"