Dreamnoblade one shots for funsies

Wilbur asks Dream out

{I had this idea when the irl bit was still relevant, idk if many people will remember by now}
“Dream... will you go on a date with me? Please?!” Wilbur whispered desperately into his phone, weirding the other out to no end.

“No Wilbur, how many times do I have to tell you. I don’t want to go out with you.” Dream was holding his phone a ways away from his ear, not wanting to hear any more of Wilbur’s unusual moans than he had to as he took a break from homework.

“Please, pretty please? Just one date, just one, and I’ll leave you alone. You like pizza right? We’ll just eat some pizza, please?”

With a heavy heart, Dream groaned. After months of chipping away at his psyche, Wilbur might’ve finally broken him. “Fine. Okay. Fine, I’ll get pizza with you. But that’s it. Promise?”

Wilbur sounded like a dying puppy. “Yes, yes! I promise. Thank you so much! You won’t regret this. Yes, I’m so happy!” Deciding they’d figure out the details later, Dream hung up on him. He was going to regret this wasn’t he.

The day approached like a poison, and Dream begrudgingly left his dorm and walked to the pizza place. He didn’t dress up, just had his usual green hoodie and jeans, which was in stark contrast to Wilbur, who stuck out like a sore thumb in a stylish coat and freshly ironed t-shirt. At least he was getting free food.

It went okay. Not as terrible as Dream anticipated, but it’s wasn’t fun either. Wilbur rambled the whole time, talking between mouthfuls of pizza about everything under the sun. Even when Dream found himself interested in the conversation, he was interrupted.

When the whole ordeal was finally over, Dream forced a smile, replied, “see you in class” to Wilbur’s not so subtle questions about a second date, and left. He needed a nap after that one, but he wasn’t dead and Wilbur would finally stop bothering him. At least he got free food.

A few days later Dream was studying in his dorm when his phone rang. With an eyebrow raised, he answered. “Wilbur?”

“Hi. So I’ve been thinking about our date la-“ The silence following Dream hanging up was interrupted by yet another phone call.

“I’m not going on another date with you Wilbur.” Dream sternly stated.

“That’s not why I called, trust me.” Wilbur sounded panicked and apologetic.

“Uh huh.”

“I promise! As I was saying, I was thinking about our date last week, and how you weren’t having that much fun.” At least he wasn’t completely oblivious. “And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I know the perfect person that you would have a fun date with!”

“You want to set me up?”

“Exactly!”

Dream sighed. Usually he was up for blind dates, never refused when Sapnap or George suggested one, but he didn’t want to know what strange individual Wilbur would want to introduce him to. “Who is it?”

“My brother, I don’t think you know him, but he goes to our school. He’s really funny, I think you’ll get along!”

Wilbur had talked about his brother a few times, and he seemed nice, or at the very least normal, which was all Dream was hoping for. “Sure, I’ll go on a date with your brother, why not. Just don’t think about tagging along or anything.” He warned.

“Yeah of course! I’ll text you the details after I convince him. Bye!”

This could go really badly, or it could be fun. Dream could only hope that Wilbur’s strangeness wasn’t genetic.