Dreamnoblade one shots for funsies

Villians feat. TommyInnit

Tommy woke up that morning determined. He put on his armor, grabbed his newly minted sword from the blacksmith and started to head out.

"Tommy, you can't, it's too dangerous!" Tubbo protested, meeting him at the town gates.

"I'm sorry Tubbo, I have to do it, it's now or never." Tommy was determined to fight off the villains that had been tormenting Innitville for as long as he had remembered. "Protect the town while I'm gone." Tubbo nearly cried as Tommy into the morning sun.

After an hour of traveling he arrived at the dark, looming castle set on a cliff. Thunder crashed and fog gathered as his nerves started to rise. Could he really do it? Could he really win? But it was too late now. He swiftly defeated the entrance guards before heading down the crumbling bridge to the castle doors. Not one for subtlety, he kicked them open, drawing his sword and anticipating a fight. Instead, two sets of laugher started echoing around him. One was crazed and wheezing, the other deep and monotone, both directed at him.

"Who let this random child in here?" The monotone voice started.

"Yeah, come on, we can't just beat up a baby." The other voice called.

Tommy started seething with rage. "You know who I am, my name is Tommy Innit and I am once again here for your heads!" He shouted, not sure where they were.

"Babe, do you want to take this one?" The monotone voice asked.

"I know you love bullying people Dear, you should do it."

"You're too kind."

"No!" Tommy interrupted. "I want to face both of you at once."

Suddenly, the two of them appeared, attached at the hip, at the top of the grand staircase. They looked at him as if he was trash, or maybe a fun toy.

"Betcha I can do it with my left land." The one Tommy knew as Dream said to his companion, holding out his right hand.

"Sounds fun." The other, Technoblade, said, interlocking their fingers.

"Fight me like men!" Tommy shouted, getting more furious by the second.

They looked at each other and laughed. "Nah, we're good." Techno said, before they dashed forward in unison, swinging their swords at the boy.

The battle lasted a little longer than usual, though much of the wasted time was the two villains pausing to flirt with each other. "I love it when you get a taste for blood." Dream would say.

"I love it when you taste it back." Techno would respond, both of them paying more attention to each other than to him. Every time that happened, Tommy would get more irritated and more reckless.

The fight ended as expected, with Tommy on the ground, unable to move while the two glared down at him. "Want to go celebrate our victory?" Techno seductively asked, adjusting his crown as he turned toward his partner.

"Oh, please!" The other responded, taking off his mask before wrapping his arms tightly around Techno's neck.

Tommy growled as he bled out on the ground, forced to watch the two's make out session as they figuratively and literally gave him the finger.