This Is Stella's Reality

July 16, 2015

I woke up alone. Bucky was gone, and the mid morning sun was glittering over the still dewy lawn of the compound. Alpine was snuggled into Bucky's pillow next to my head. Steve's pillow was barren.

My feet hit the floor, and I wondered downstairs to find either of them. Steve, to confront him. Bucky, to make sure he was alright.

I found them in the training room. The air was thick with tension. Bucky was in his running clothes, and Steve was beating into a punching bag.

They seemed to have been mid conversation when I walked in. Bucky looked at me and sighed. He held his arms open, wanting me to hug him.

I did, burying myself into his side and watching Steve's anger burn as he kept hitting the bag over and over. Finally, it flew off it's chain and slammed into the floor.

Steve turned to us with a scowl. "So, when do you leave?" He asked.

Bucky huffed a laugh in disbelief. "Are you really going to do this?"

"Do what? Ask my fiancés when they're leaving me to go on an extended vacation for God knows how long?"

"You are so full of yourself," Bucky said. His voice was already overwhelmed with emotion.

Steve shook his head and grabbed another punching bag, hanging it on the hook.

I reached my hand forward, as if to reach for him. He looked at me, but didn't move. "Steve," I said softly, "we aren't like you. Bucky needs to heal. His memories are eating him alive. My powers are growing out of control. We need a break from this."

"And what am I supposed to do?" He asked me.

"Come with us," I said firmly. "You don't always need to be in the middle of every fight. You're human; you need a break as much as we do."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "I'm not me without this," he said. "If you knew me, you'd know that."

My eyebrows pinched together. Anger rose through me again, and I knew Bucky sensed it. His hand tightened on my shoulder. "Why are you being such an asshole? Is it because I'm not Peggy fucking Carter? Because I don't want you to work yourself to dust? Because I won't stand by and watch it happen?"

Steve stared at me for a long time. "Yeah," he breathed. "You're nothing like her, and you never will be."

"Oh, fuck you," Bucky nearly shouted. His hand around my shoulders dropped, and he stormed towards Steve. They were inches apart from each other, both scowling and furious.

"You know damn well Stella loves you more than anything, and all you're doing is pushing her away because you're hung up on Peggy. She moved on. She got married. She had kids. She's dead. Get over it," Bucky sneered.

Steve stared at him for a moment before shoving him harshly. Bucky stumbled, so I used my magic to catch him. "Steve," I screamed. "What the hell?"

He glared at us with an intensity I had never seen from him. His thoughts were incoherent and wild. "Leave. I don't care where you go, how long you're gone, or if you ever come back. Leave."

I crouched beside Bucky. His eyes were glossy and glazed over. He stood, pulling me with him. "I hope Peggy Carter and the fucking Avengers are worth it," Bucky sneered as he ripped off the wedding band Steve had given him and threw it on the floor.

Bucky started to pull me along, but I stopped him. Steve and I stared at each other for a moment. "You swore to me you'd never lose him," I said.

"Leave," is all Steve said as he turned back towards the punching bag and began training again.