This Is Stella's Reality

July 13, 2015

When the world finally became somewhat bearable again, I was sitting, huddled in a mass of blankets in Bucky's lap. He was rocking me gently, but when I looked up at his face, I could see the pain in his own eyes.

He was staring blankly at the wall of the quinjet. Tears had stained his face, and his lip still quivered. He hadn't even noticed I was awake.

Gently, I reached my hand to comb through his beard. He blinked and looked down at me with a small forced smile. We didn't say anything. We didn't need to. I knew he was hurt. He knew I was too.

We sat there, silent and holding each other close. My heart ached. I couldn't decipher that vision Wanda had given me. I couldn't even wrap my head around it. It made me feel sick.

A moment later, we were landing in an open field. When the doors of the quinjet hissed open, I recognized the landscape. We were at an old SHIELD safehouse. Natasha and I had come here a few years ago to lay low from a Hydra agent adamant on killing her.

The house looked a bit more worn than it had been. I didn't even think SHIELD had possession of this still. Perhaps Tony bought it along with all of their other things.

We trekked through the soft hills of the countryside until we reached the front door. It creaked open, and we stepped inside. Sam and Clint threw themselves onto the dusty couches while I dragged myself to the kitchen to splash water on my face.

Steve, Bucky, Thor, and Loki followed me. Their loud footsteps made my ears ache. I turned on the faucet and watched Thor keep walking out of the house via the back door. Loki frowned and followed him.

From the window, I could see the two talk and then begin to argue. Thor put his hand up. His face was intense. He said something to Loki and spun Mjolnir in the air before flying off.

Loki stepped back inside, defeat on his face. He looked over at us. I ran water over my tired eyes and waited for him to speak.

"He's gone to find out what his vision means," Loki sighed. "He said he'll return shortly. I'm going to tell Bruce."

We nodded and leaned against the kitchen counters. "How long should we stay here?" I asked.

"How long can we stay here?" Bucky breathed. There was a hint of a smile returning to his face as life seemed to breathe back into him.

Steve was silent for a while. His thoughts were elsewhere, distracted and absent. Wanda had given him a vision too. From what I could gather from everyone's thoughts, everyone had gotten visions except for Clint and Tony.

"Long as we need to," Natasha said from the breakfast bar. "You guys alright?"

The three of us nodded quietly and came to lean on the bar with her. "Make yourselves comfortable," Steve breathed. "I'm going to change and go outside for a while." He didn't wait for any of us to respond before he walked upstairs.

I looked at Bucky. His eyes were sad as he watched Steve go. I looped my arm through Bucky's and leaned against him. "Did he tell you what he saw?" I asked.

"Yeah," Bucky's voice croaked. His eyes fell to his hands as they wrung on the countertop. "Peggy."

Peggy Carter. My heart skipped a beat. Steve's first love. I knew a little about her. British intelligence, original founder of SHIELD, and incredibly capable.

I was nothing like her. I knew Steve missed her. I knew Steve loved her. I knew he needed space from Bucky and I.

My chest heaved, but I drew Bucky from the counter and said goodbye to Natasha. I took him up the steps, avoiding the room I knew Steve was in.

Gently, I pressed my thoughts to his. I was immediately overwhelmed with his grief and depression. Waves of it flooded over me as if I were drowning. He loved her so.

I pulled away, feeling nauseous and dizzy. I tried to hide my face from Bucky as hot tears brimmed in my eyes.

We shuffled into a room and locked the door. It was quiet. The mid morning sun was glittering through the large oak trees outside the windows.

Bucky wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. I reached behind my head, letting my hands feel the familiar curl of his chocolatey hair.

"Can we take a nap?" He asked. His voice was still thick with sadness. I didn't want to ask about his visions. I knew.

"Of course," I breathed. I texted Nat to come get us if anything happened.

We shed our mission clothes and fixed the bedding on the mattress. It was small, probably meant for only one person, but I laid on top of Bucky's chest.

His heartbeat was soothing, rhythmic and steady. He played with the ends of my hair and massaged small circles into my scalp.

I made a list in my head.

Priorities:

Ultron.

Scepter.

Talk to Loki about my vision.

Talk to Steve about Peggy.

Easier said than done. My mind buzzed with exhaustion. There were a million different ways this could play out. I didn't even really catch up with the team and learn our situation. I added that to the list.

Figure out what the hell is going on.