This Is Stella's Reality

September 28, 2015

My fingers moved deftly amongst my flowerbeds, wedding and planning perennials. Fall was on the horizon which meant my current display of summer flowers would soon wilt from the cold weather and stop producing anything.

"How are you, angel?" Bucky asked, appearing in the balcony's doorway with a tray of lemonades. His smile was sweet. As bright as he was, I felt the underlying pain and sadness that lingered in him.

It lingered within all of us. The elephant in the room. Thick as fog and just as heavy.

I wondered how Tony was.

"I'm alright," I sighed, leaning back on my heels and dusting dirt from my skin. "What about you, darling?"

He huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes. "Well," he breathed, setting the tray down and tossing his weight to the couch, "I'm here with my beautiful wife, so I'd say I'm doin' pretty well."

A laugh escaped me as I settled myself beside him on the couch. "In that case, I'm doin' pretty well too,'' I smiled, offering to clink our glasses together.

"That's the spirit, doll."

"Hey," Steve breathed behind us, leaning in the doorway. He was sweaty and out of breath, but he was smiling as bright as the midmorning sun. "Sam and I just got back. You should come with us tomorrow, we found a new route that's really nice."

I smiled up at him. "Sorry, love, I don't think I'd be a great running mate."

Steve laughed joyously. I wondered how he did it. Always able to bask in the warmth of the sunlight. "Well," he grinned, "Sam could probably say the same."

Sam protested from the kitchen, having apparently heard Steve's sly insult.

"Anyways, we're going to shower," he said. His eyes glossed over us. "Nat and Loki still sleeping?"

"Yeah," I said softly. "Nat's pretty upset still, and Loki is just lazy I think."

He huffed a laugh and nodded. "Copy that. Can I do anything for you before we go?"

"Just give us a kiss," Bucky said, leaning his head back against the couch and puckering his lips up at Steve's blushing face.

Steve rolled his eyes, but his lips were pulled back into a satisfied grin as he leaned down and pressed their lips together. His hand found the back of my head and pulled me over to him, kissing me as well.

"I love you."

"We love you too."

He smiled softly and stepped back inside. The magical air conditioning drifted from the apartment and sent a chill up my spine. I craved the weather changing soon. Warm fireplaces and bundled up in jackets.

Persephone had already left the lofty clouds of Olympus. It was officially autumn. I thought about visiting her soon. Maybe a trip for mom's advice was what I needed.

Suddenly, I laughed to myself. She'd probably chastise me for planting my fall crops so late. It was already five days past the equinox. I could picture her narrowed eyes and sly smile.

Stellie, you know the importance of time in nature. If your crops fail, don't come praying to me or your grandmother!

Those gentle giggles beat in my lungs and morphed into something like a sob. It caught me off guard, so I slapped my hand over my mouth as stinging tears fell from my eyes.

"Hey," Bucky said gently, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to sit in his lap, "what's going on, my love?"

His soft voice only forced me further into tears. I clung to the loose flannel that flapped in the breeze. His long and curly hair tickled my cheeks as his fingers ran up my spine. Light as the clouds overhead, Bucky hummed a soft tune, rocking me in his arms and pressing kisses to my hair.

Hiccups shook my shoulders as I struggled to force down my tears. I yelled at myself for crying. Why? Let it go. It had been days. Stop being a baby.

Right, goddess, I heard Loki say in my head. Stop crying like a pathetic mortal and get it together. Some of us are trying to sleep.

Shut up, I sneered at him, pushing him from my mind.

"What can I do for you, my light?" Bucky asked.

"Just hold me, please."

He chuckled gently and shifted his weight to be more comfortable. "That I can do."

We stayed like that for a while, enjoying the cooling air and breeze that swept past us. The animals drifting from the living room to the balcony. Someone in the kitchen rifling through cabinets and pantries. Water boiling in the kettle. Footsteps walking towards us.

"Tea?" Loki asked gently as he stepped onto the balcony.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you were trying to sleep."

He sighed and set down the teapot and cups he carried with his magic, taking a seat beside Bucky. "I was," he mused, "but you are quite distraught. I figured my time could be better spent by your side."

"My savior," I drawled.

Bucky laughed and held me closer to his chest. "Who knew you could be such a softie, Loki."

"I am not."

"You made her tea."

Silence followed.

I could hear Loki's groveling thoughts as he pouted on the other end of the bench. He frowned more when I used my magic to bring a cup of the piping hot tea to my lips. It was strong, typical of the way he always made it. Herbal and sweet with honey.

"Thank you, darling," I said to him.

Loki huffed, "Do not call me that."

"Why?"

"I am not your darling."

"But I thought you adored me."

He laughed, sucking his teeth and looking off into the distance. "I am not sure what lies Hermes has said to you, but I assure you, I have never said I adore you."

"Sure, darling."

"Stupid girl," he mumbled.

I laughed and gently shoved him with my foot. "I'm depressed, the least you could do is pretend to like me," I chastised.

His blue eyes turned to me tiredly, but there was a small smile growing on his face. "You truly are stupid."

"Watch it," Bucky grumbled as he swung one of his arms behind Loki's head and rested it on the couch. "You're stupid if you can't see that look of adoration in your eyes."

Loki continued to grumble as the morning faded into afternoon. We drank his tea and sat on the balcony, watching Paris pass us bye. Nat joined us after a while, rubbing sleep from her eyes and sitting in the solo chair with her back against the armrest and her feet on the balcony rails.

Steve and Sam left to pick up lunch for us. We were trying American style burgers from a restaurant down the street. Steve didn't think they'd be good. Loki said burgers were not good in general. Sam called him crazy. My heart swelled watching our little family interact.

The front door opened and slammed. I jumped at the sound it made, shaking the walls and rattling the tea and lemonade on the table outside. Feet rushed towards the balcony, and the four of us turned to see Sam and Steve breathlessly carrying food in their arms.

"Something happened," Sam panted.

"At Stark Tower," Steve finished.

We all stared blankly at them.

"What happened?" I asked. "How do you know?"

Steve sighed and sat on the edge of the bench. "It was on the news. There was an explosion."

"Is everyone alright?"

"They don't know."

"We should go, right?"

"Yeah, we should go."