This Is Stella's Reality

September 24, 2015

"So."

"So."

"So," I sighed, joining the chorus of awkward sentence starters that went nowhere except through uncomfortable minds. My knees were jumping with nerves, and my fingers played with each other, pinched in my lap and picking at my nails.

"So," Steve said sharply, tossing his arm over the back of the couch and playing with the ends of my hair. "Tony, how have you been? I bet Malibu is nice this time of year."

Tony hummed absentmindedly as he watched Ves and Aurora played tug-of-war with a rope. They playfully snarled at each other, and their nails clicked on the hardwood whenever they would try to snatch the toy away.

I felt his uneasiness, though, Tony would never outwardly show that. He was too proud. Too afraid to let his image shatter.

"How about you?" Tony asked, letting his eyes finally drift to the rest of us. "You all seem to be doing fine without me."

"We are doing fine, thanks," Nat said coolly. She smiled at him and stuck her hand out for Sidus to brush his cheek along. "But, we'd be doing better if all of us could stop pretending we aren't friends."

Tony laughed bitterly and knocked back his bottle of beer. "Isn't it a bit ironic?" He asked. "Cap said we'd do this shit together and then he ditches us for memories put in his head by that little witch? And not just us, but his fucking fiancés too, and we're just all okay with this now?"

His anger echoed in my ears when the room grew silent. Steve's head fell to his lap, and his thoughts poured out like a great flood. Remorse and guilt beyond belief.

"We've moved past it," Bucky said solemnly. I caught the tremble of his voice. The edge of sadness and anger like a blade unsheathing. "It was never about you, Stark. Not everything on this fucking planet is about you. Stop taking our issue and making it about you. We're happy now," he growled, standing and towering over Tony, "so either stop wallowing in your own self-pity or just leave."

Bucky stormed away and left through the back door. The air was tense with the static of his divinity. Unsurity and anxiety rippled through me. The aftereffects of his own thoughts.

"Excuse me," Steve mumbled softly as he stood and followed Bucky.

I watched the light in the windows change. We weren't in our Parisian flat anymore; we were on the island. Clean white light filtered through the curtains as we sat before the fireplace. I stared at the dead embers, unmoving and silent as the others sighed and shuffled anxiously.

"You're horrible," I said plainly. I felt eyes move to me. Tension grew as Tony's eyes flickered to me. My anger swelled at the flippant quirk of his eyebrows. "We asked you to come here to repair our friendship. To go back to what we once were. You're the only one here still groveling."

"It actually seems like I'm the only one here with any self respect."

"Tony," Thor warned.

But it was too late.

Fury burned through me, and in my blind rage I stood and dipped my face close to his.

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Tony," I shouted at the top of my lungs. "You're actually the only fucking person here too self absorbed to give a shit about anyone beside yourself. You can't accept that the rest of us have moved on and repaired our relationships because it doesn't revolve around you.

"You can't stand the fact that we moved on without you while you wallowed in Malibu in your billion dollar mansion. You can't stand the fact that Steve is the glue that holds us all together, not you. So when he left, the team fell apart, and you felt useless. That's why you're still pissed. Because you are fucking useless."