This Is Stella's Reality

August 3, 2014

My magic swirled in dizzying puffs of cerulean clouds, lifting objects of various weights and testing how far I could throw them.

Bucky was laying on a bench nearby, tossing a knife in the air and catching it just before it fell back to his head. I winced every time. His eyes glanced at me every now and then, but I ignored him.

It was just us in the training room. He had been here when I wandered in, bored and with nothing else to do I offered to train with him. He declined, citing he was tired and wanted to rest. I had rolled my eyes at him and begun doing tricks with my magic.

The intensity of his gaze followed my movements, but he always looked away when I turned my eyes to meet his. My skin tingled under his eagle eye watch, burning when he stared for too long.

I focused on my tests. No use in squirming under his gaze. It didn't mean anything. Bucky always stared at everything. It wasn't as if he was watching me for any particular reason.

A huff pulled me from my attention. Bucky was sitting up, twirling his knife between his fingers. My jaw clenched whenever the blade brushed past the soft skin of his palm, but he was unphased.

His eyes were holding mine, and I saw the gears of his mind turning. The air was thick with my awkwardness. I laughed, an attempt to diffuse whatever tension had suddenly appeared. "You alright over there, Sarge?" My voice was wavering. It was always so shaky when I spoke to Bucky. Snap out of it, I told myself.

Bucky stood, not answering me. He stepped closer to me and grazed his eyes down my frame. My heart skipped a beat.

He offered his hand to me. "Your stance is preventing you from performing better," he said simply.

I froze, not sure what I was expecting. Bucky loved to watch me squirm. This was all a game to him. I was just a mouse for him to play with as the hours passed.

Silently, I cursed him and the kiss we had shared weeks earlier. It still made my heart flutter to think of it, not that it meant anything.

My eyes rolled at him, "And I suppose you want to help me? Is that why you've been staring?" I shook my head and huffed a laugh.

He smiled at me. That stupid charming smile that melted away all the coldness in my heart. His hands hovered around my waist, still waiting for permission to touch me. "Not the only reason," he muttered. "But will you let me help you?" The sincerity of the question made static buzz in my ears.

I nodded at him, twisting back to face the discarded objects I had been throwing to a mat across the room. His touch on my waist was ghostly, barely there. I craved more, but was too afraid to ask for it.

Can I kiss you, Stella?

My head spun as Bucky moved my feet a bit further apart. He smiled, "Didn't I already tell you to work on your stances?" His voice rumbled so deeply I felt it under my skin despite the distance.

"Sorry, Sarge," I said as I let him kick my feet apart and twist my shoulders.

He huffed a laugh and stepped away from me. I tried to ignore the ice that prickled through the space he had left empty. His eyes were still on me, watching as I shook myself from his trance and lifted a heavy weight with my magic.

Carefully, I threw the object as far as I could. It went a bit farther than it had previously, and I turned to Bucky with a triumphant smile.

His expression was unreadable as he sucked his teeth and stepped forward again. "Good," he said. "I'm going back to my knives. Keep practicing, doll." I shivered when his eyes ripped away from me.