Problem Kid

Chapter 32

It's been a week since I was discharged from the hospital and things seem to be looking up. I've not self harmed since discharge day and I've been seeing Nightmare almost every day. I'm still living with Jimmy at Sam and Jack's place but it's better now. It's happier. We're all getting along well, no more tears and relapse and secrets. Well... except for the fact I'm still secretly smoking... and drinking sometimes...  BUT it's been a lot better. They don't know I'm doing these things of course but it's so much better than self harm, right? It has to be. I guess it's better that they don't know. So I can't hurt them and they can't force me to qUiT or whatever. I feel bad for lying but it's what I have to do.

But anyway, living back home is so nice and it's such a relief that I can actually call it HOME now. I'm with my family. The love of my life and the people who I love and who love me. Maya is back at school now holidays are over and she is loving it! She's got a nice friend group and all the kids in her class can see how much of a lovely, happy, bubbly girl she is. I'm so glad it's going good for her.

Sam is working in the school still and he's happy with that. He's doing what he loves, teaching young people how to be their best selves. And how to work computers too I guess. Jack is working too and even Jimmy is starting to look for a job! He's applied for a tattooing apprenticeship which I think he'll DEFINATELY get! Especially since it's in Jay's Tattoo Place so I put in a good word for Jimmy, stole his art book for a day and showed Jay the designs. He was amazed and agreed to discuss with his colleagues about taking Jimmy on! I'm happy for him!

As for me, I'm not working right now but thankfully I don't need to any time soon. I get benefits money for my disabilities and other benefits that help me buy my own food, clothes, disability aids and whatever else I need. Sam and Jack are encouraging me to hold off looking for a job because my physical health limits what I can do and they don't want to put a strain on my mental health. I want to work one day but for now, I'm focusing on myself. Me and Jimmy are aiming to move out and get our own flat at some point but we've decided it's better for both him and me to wait until I'm definately mentally well enough because it'll be too hard on him having to take care of sick me all alone and also it'll be much nicer to actually enjoy living in our home instead of worrying about me being ill and being damaging to him. Either way, Sam and his family have made it very clear we are welcome to stay as long as we want. We all get along so well in the home and it's lovely. Me and Jimmy babysit Maya whenever Sam and Jack have days out, romantic meals or time away together and we all do our share of housework and chip in together. I never thought I'd say this but right now I'm actually okay with living... it's nice!

.

"EVERLEIGHHHHH!!!!!" I hear Jimmy calling me in the kitchen and I look up from my journal with a sigh. So much for some peaceful early morning writing...

"I'm coming!" I call out, stepping out of bed. The dizziness hits me and with a sigh, I sit down in my wheelchair. Hangovers and chronic illnesses don't mix AT ALL.

I wheel myself into the kitchen where Summer is eating her lunch out of her bowl.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I ask Jimmy whilst rubbing my head. It hurts.

"Sorry love, I had to call you. We need to have some lunch now otherwise we won't have time before we leave to go to your medical review, remember?" I groan. Of course, today's my medical review with the mental health team. This is where they'll decide what to do with my medication, map out how I'm doing and what to do next with my outpatient care. Also, they'll be doing my vitals and weight to check I'm not relapsing. Ugh.

"Okay, okay... what shall we have for lunch?" I ask, heading over to the fridge. I open it and there's not much in there aside from some cold chicken, fruit and leftovers from the other day's takeaway.