Problem Kid

Chapter 17

I lay in my bed, my stomach bloated, staring at the girls and Jimmy who all lie still. The girls on the mattresses and Jimmy and myself in my bed with Summer at our heels. Everyone is silent. Asleep. Peaceful. I'm awake, staring down at my bloated stomacph.
With a small sigh, I gently sit up from where I had lay on Jimmy's arm. He stays asleep which reassures me as I sneak to the bathroom. I lock the door quietly and pee before sitting in silence. In my time at the hospital I had genuinely done well. I threw away all my blades except one, ate two and sometimes 3 full meals a day and managed to manage my purging as to keep my food down easier. I hadn't purged in two months. I had done well. Now, I was falling apart. I wanted to scream, to break and to attack myself. I wanted to harm myself and purge all of the high calorie items I had consumed however I didn't want to fall back down. I slid down to the floor crying, debating what to do in my head before slowly lifting the toilet kid and staring down into the clear water. Slowly,  I pulled up my striped sleeves. One and rested on the side of the bowl as another moved slowly up to my mouth. I say like this for a few minutes, my fingers resting on my lips as I fought my mind and the intrusive thoughts before I opened my mouth, reaching my fingers down to just before my gag reflex as a small knock sounded at the bathroom door. I gag slightly before removing my saliva covered fingers and wiping them on some tissue before shuffling my body to unlock the door before moving back to my spot on the floor and burying my head in my hands.
"Baby... you haven't done anything, have you?" Jimmy whispers, falling o the floor and enveloping me in his arms as I sob, shaking my head.
"No... I was about to purge..." he shakes his head.
"It's ok baby, it's ok... I love you," He gently rubs my arm, kissing my head.
"I'm so proud I you didn't. I'm so proud you managed not to. I love you," I see him staring the cuts from earlier in the day and before I can pull my sleeve down, he lifts my arm.
"Don't do this... please, Ev... was it the stress and fear of coming home?" I nod. He understands.
"It's ok, I know what it's like. You're not doing it anymore though, ok?" I nod, reaching up my shirt and sliding the blade from my bra padding.
"He looks confused for a moment before I hold out the metal object and he takes it.
"Is that the last one?" I nod.
"Thank you. That was sting of you to do. So strong. You're my fighter," I cry into his shoulder as he throws the sharp tool down the oiler, flushing it before lifting my body up and carrying meI bed where he lays down with me. His arms wrap around me under the covers, protective and loving as I quickly glance at the clock.
1.37am
Definitely time to sleep. I close my eyes as Jimmy rubs his fingertips up and down my right forearm, gently soothing me and helping me drift off into the peaceful slumber I desired.

"AHHHH GUYS WE HAVE TO GO IN AN HOUR QUICK WAKE UP AHHHHHH!" I rub my eyes and sit up abruptly as Rachael's cry fills the room.
It's 5am and the girls are frantically rushing about.
"Oh damn!" They turn to me, laughing.
"Sorry we woke you, ev!" I shake my head, giggling sleepily and pulling my sleeves down under the covers before noticing the lack of a warm body beside me.
"Where is Ji-" I'm disrupted as the door opens and Jimmy stands there in my Mum's cooking apron which, at the front, has a cartoon drawing of a woman in a bikini on it which causes me to laugh.
"BREAKFASTTTTT!" He calls out before placing the tray on my dressing table. I stand up and walk over to it to inspect what is on it.
Toast, honey, jam and butter;
Waffles with syrup or Nutella;
A jug of milk, 5 bowls and coco pops;
Some fruit salad mix;
A carton of orange juice;
A jug of water with ice
And, finally, 5 cups. I pour myself a glass of water before taking half a bowl of fruit salad. The girls race over and inhale random bits of food whilst Jimmy takes 3 slices of toast with Nutella. I take a second bite of a banana cube and a sip of water. The girls each take a turn to go into the bathroom and dress. I take the opportunity to wish Jimmy a good morning with a small kiss and select my own clothes for the day.
As I rummage through my drawers, I take out a pair of knee length light grey dungarees which have two red roses stitched on atop the front leg pockets and a plain pocket at the front. My top for underneath is a plain black long sleeve along with a small rose blacker given to me by my father when I was 7 and a cute silver chain necklace with a small red poppy charm on it. I put the jewellery on first before taking my turn in the bathroom and quickly dressing myself. I then stare at my body in the mirror, smiling slightly. I don't like it. I hate it. But I'm trying. I really am. And I know I look healthier. I'm not fat. I'm only just a healthy weight. My thighs still don't touch my at least one, maybe even two, centimetres. My arms are not overly sized, they are a normal size. It's my body dysmorphia telling me otherwise. I smile at myself, blowing a kiss before turning away and stroking back into the room where everyone rushed around. All the girls are hurriedly eating waffles and fruit whilst doing their makeup. I return o my fruit whisky doing mine. I've eaten half of my bowl which Jimmy gives me a small thumbs up for and an encouraging smile to eat more, which I do. After pulling my black as night hair out of my face and tying it in a tight ponytail, I eat more of the apple pieces and pineapple slices whilst working on the base layers of my makeup which conceal any imperfections on my face such as my visible pores and few nose freckles. Once my pale skin is evened out, I then select a faint highlighter which I dab a small amount of on my cheekbone before contouring and all of that jazz. I then take out my smokey eye palette and do a small bit of that with a liquid eyeliner flick. Not major, just a small one. I then take out a wine red lipstick which I spread out across my lips before doing a thick layer of mascara and smiling a little at my reflection before moving to my hair. Since entering the unit, it has changed from its shoulder length ragged emo style into a long and smooth black curtain which rests just past breast length. I get out my hair crimped before crimping it into a wavy style and allowing most it to bounce around my shoulders, apart from a small amount which I clip up at the back with a black clasp. Finally done, I pack my school bag as the girls pack their own suitcases. I hurriedly open my jewellery box where I take out three items and walk up to my best friends.
First, Rachael.
"Rach? This is for you," I turn her towards me before clasping my small silver heart necklace given to me by my great grandma around her small neck. It bounces on her chest, settling above her black vest top.
"I want you to think of our time here when you wear this. A little bit of me to stay with you all the time when we are on opposite sides of he world," she gently wipes a tear from her eyes, desperately trying not to ruin her fresh makeup.
"Oh babes... I love you," she clings to me before allowing me to move to Jayna.
"Jay... this is for you," I slide my small Links charm bracelet onto her wrist given to me by a great aunt from London. It consisted of a cute little Paddington bear charm, a London bus one, a small British flag and a small Australian flag plus a 'love' engraved heart.
"So you have al title but of London with you forever, since you love it so much," she squeezes me right, thanking me in a tearful whisper. I stop in front of Meghan.
"Megs... this is yours," I gently slide a small plastic ring onto her little finger where it fits perfectly. It looks cheap and tacky, and is, but the meaning behind it is so much more important and she knows that as a hand instantly goes to her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes.
"I can tell you remember this... my first day in real school when we met. I had cried going in and so had you which left all the kids staring at us, the weird crybabies. They refused to talk to us and so we talked to eachother. My first ever friend. To make me go in, my mum said she would buy me a 'Girl' magazine which came with a small plastic set of blue 'bff' rings. I gave one to you at the end of the day and kept one for myself. We wore it all year until near the end when I lost mine. I cried and cried and so you gave yours i me and I kept it forever. Here it is, back to you over 10 years later," she cried, hugging me tightly. The other girls join in as Jimmy smiles from on the bed, winking at me.
"I love you girls so much..." I whisper.
"GIRLS! Your Mums are here!" I hold back tears as we all walk downstairs, Jimmy following.
"Bye you guys..." I squeeze them all one last time before waving at them all the way down the road, a single tear escaping my eye. I gently dabbed it away. No crying yet.
"Are you glad they came?" I nod, hugging my mum.
"Thank you," I whisper.
"It's ok baby girl. It's ok," I smile at her before picking my bag up from off the floor.
"Well... leaving for school in 45 minutes so I'll be in my room I guess? She nods and I move upstairs, Jimmy following me.
"I know that was hard. I'm here to talk if you want. I love you," I cling to him at the top of the stairs.
"I love you too, Jim," we move into my room, holding hands tightly as we sit on the bed.
"Come here," he pulls me in and kisses me, our lips colliding with force for a few seconds before slowly releasing. I instantly laugh at the sight of my lipstick on his lips and edge of them and he instantly wipes it off, giggling.
"Right, I'm getting dressed. Be back in a second," I nod and watch him take a some clothes from his suitcase beside my bed before entering my bathroom. I gently brush Summer's fur with the dog brush on the bedside table, looking up as Jimmy walks back into my bedroom in just his black jeans, torn once at the knee. No shirt. I hold my breath for a moment and flush red when he laughs.
"Sorry if I shocked you there, I'm fat, I know," he laughs.
"You, can shut up!" I walk towards him and stroke my hand from his chest down to his flat stomach, kissing his cheek gently before brushing my hand up his arm and over his old and faint scars.
"My warrior," I whisper, breaking away after a moment and allowing him to put on his long sleeved Falling In Reverse shirt.
"You almost ready? We can leave early if you want so you get to school before everyone else starts piling in?" I nod.
"Sure! I'll get Sum ready. Leave in 10?" He nods before taking his makeup bag out of the case and applying a small amount of eyeliner and skin smoothing base products along with power and stuff. I smile at him as I put Summer in her vest and apply the patches I want with it. I then sort out her bag with all its necessities before placing down her food and some fresh water for her to have now. She eats it straight away.
"I don't think I want to use my chair today. Since I've gained weight I've been a lot less dizzy. I think I'll be ok without it," He nods.
"Ok but if you get bad, you will use the one in the office please, ok?" I nod.
"Oh... I'm in all your classes by the way.  Sam helped me talk to the headteacher who understood your 'fragile' self at the moment after this 'traumatic and sensitive' stay in hospital. She's allowed me to stay with you now for however long you need!" I smirk.
"Get in!" He laughs.
"But we only act like friends in class or teachers will report us, ok? And we are SENSIBLE, yes?" I laugh, nodding.
"Good! Let's gooooo!" I laugh, packing up Summer's empty bowls and placing my backpack on my back and her bag on my shoulder. With the last bite of my fruit salad eaten, we leave the places and other items to clean up for later before heading downstairs. As we walk down, I put Summer's waist clip around my torso and clasp her leash to it.
"Mum! We're off!" I find her in the kitchen and gunner a huge hug and small peck on the cheek before waving and backing away.
"I love you! Have a good day!" I call to her and she returns the same.
"Bye, Mum! Love ya! Have a great day!" Jimmy Joel's and she calls back to him.
"Bye my favourite son!" I laugh as we walk out of the door, smiling and laughing our way down the road. As we reach the small green area in the end of the road, I instruct Summer to use the toilet before clearing it up and placing the bag into a dog poop bin and continuing to walk. We stop at the cafe where I get a caramel latte and Jimmy gets a mint hot chocolate before we arrive at the school. I take a sip of my hot drink before pressing the buzzer for the office at the locked gate. We are half an hour earlier than any other students, which Jimmy said was the time office told us to arrive for. A welcoming female voice answers and we state our names before the gate opens and we walk up to the wooden doors which are already open.
"Welcome back, Everleigh!" The nice office lady from my first day sits at the desk, tapping out some things on her computer with a smile.
"You can head into the headteacher's office now. You know where it is, right?" We nod and I thank her before heading off down the hall with my boyfriend to the tall and frightening door of the kind and calm headteacher's office. I knock gently before hearing a buzzer sound to let us in. Jimmy pushes the door open and leads me in, sitting in the chair beside the one I take.
"Hello, Miss!" She smiles at me before taking off her glasses and putting down a stack of papers.
"Welcome back, Everleigh! Now, I'm sure Jimmy told you about our agreement?" I nod and she smiles, "Good! So that's pretty much it apart from this time out card which you may use whenever you need a small break. You may bring Jimmy if required. I trust you to use it wisely and not abuse your rights," I nod as she hands Jimmy and me two small white laminated pieces of card stating 'time out card issues by headteacher' in bold black writing on them. I place mine in my bag, thanking her.
"That's all, I think. Apart from that, all I need to say is welcome back, have a great first day back and if there are any problems, don't hesitate to see me and I'll ensure they are sorted!" I thank her once again before we head out, my coffee in my hands and Summer at my side.
"Where shall we go now? We have literally a whole 20 minutes before kids get let in and then a further 20 until class starts," I look around and lock eyes on Sam's room.
"We should go to Sa- Mr Gray. Since we have him first class anyway. We can drop our bags off," Jimmy nods, smiling and linking hands with me as we walk. He knocks on the door before a 'come in' allows us to enter.
"Hey, Sir!" I smile and he nods.
"Hi! Thanks for remembering the name in school," I nod.
"Of course! Is it ok if we hang here until our lesson starts? We got in early to talk to the head," He nods.
"Sure! You know you guys are always welcome here! My classroom is your classroom," we laugh and begin to chat,
Our topic moving to the sleepover and the morning as I sit in my old seat with Jimmy next to me, our hands parting as I take Summer's leash and vest off and instantly reconnecting after I let her go walk about the room and settle myself back down. His thumb strokes my hand as I describe it all from the fun we had to the 1am struggle all the way to the jewellery giving and the goodbye which brought tears to my eyes. After he had laughed and comforted me through the fun and tough time, we continued normal conversation as he worked on his computer and I began to sketch myself and Jimmy from behind walking down my street, Summer beside me...