Problem Kid

Chapter 54

Big TW for this chapter!!!

"Ev, you okay in there?" I quickly lower the bottle, swallowing the liquid in my mouth. I've drank almost half of it and I stifle a giggle as I almost choke on my mouthful.

"I'm fine, Jimmy! Just relaxing. I love youuuu!" I call out. I hear him say okay before leaving. It's definately not been an hour but I'm too drunk to care. With a final chug of the throat burning booze, the bottle is closed and put back on the floor. I reach around shakily until I find my special box of pain. As soon as I pick them up, I'm sliding out a fresh piece of metal. My thighs take some minor damage, my hands too shaky to really do any deep injury. I mutter nonsense to myself as I slice, angry that I can't feel the pain. Fucking alcohol. In the end, I give up trying my legs and move to my arms. I absentmindedly dash at myself until I do something that shocks me. One of my strokes was clearly too much and I struggle to breathe at the sight of what I've done. From my shoulder to halfway down my right forearm, I've made a frighteningly deep injury. I pause in a panic, trying to decide what to do.

Part of my mind tells me to call out for help. Get sorted out, taken to hospital. But the sicker part says otherwise.

Finish the bottle, do some more. Go on, it can't hurt!

Fuck, what the hell do I do?! I want to call for help but I'm weak. I'm too fucking weak so what do I do instead? As my badly injured arm lays limp and heavily bleeding, I grab the bottle with the other hand and begin to chug. A quarter of the bottle is left when I pause to grab the blade. I look away, going at my forearm. I can't look. I'll stop if I look. The pain will hit if I look. Swap to my other arm, go at it. As hard as I can until suddenly the pain shoots up to my shoulder. I cry out as it sears through my body, dropping the piece of metal into the bath. I don't know what I'm doing but I somehow find the strength to grab the bottle, downing the rest within 5 minutes. My brain pulses in pain and my stomach churns. I feel weak and my arms burn to hell, my thighs only tingling in comparison.

"FUCK!" I scream out as my right arm twitches. I fucked up, I've really fucked up and I don't know what to do. If I leave it, I'm going to die. And for the first time in a while, I don't think I want to die. I don't want to live for me but I don't want to hurt my family any more. This isn't a suicide attempt, I know that. I don't want to kill myself, I don't want to die. I just wanted to cut and to drink and to escape and feel okay but I've fucked up and I've fucked up bad so with all of my strength and all of the breath in my lungs, I try to push myself up into a sitting position. My left arm dangles outside the tub and I realise I can't move myself. Instead, I take in as deep a breath as I can before screaming out as loud as my voice will carry me.

"HELP ME!" I scream, tears beginning to run down my face. Within seconds, feet are pounding up the stairs and the door handle is begging shaken.

"Everleigh what is it?! What's happening?! Let us in!" Jimmy shouts out. I hear Sam calling out to me to open the door in the background.

"I can't! I need you to get in! I'm sorry, it was a mistake! It was an accident please..." I begin to sob as I finish my shouted sentence. Another set of feet come running up the stairs and I lay in the bath helplessly, unable to see my legs under the scarlet water. I'm crying, I'm scared.

"I have a knife, we're opening the door! We're coming in, Everleigh! It's okay!" I hear Jack yell out before the lock clicks and the door swings open. Jack is the first one in and he instantly drops to his knees in shock.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident! I just needed a drink, I just wanted to cut but it went wrong I'm so sorry!" I sob, my vision blurring. Jimmy is beside me, grabbing the towel from the floor and wrapping it around the arm closest to him.