Problem Kid

Chapter 27

"Fuck," I growl.
I say it because instantly, I know.
"You're awake," an emotionless voice states from beside me.
"Yes," I say, sarcasm dripping from my dry tongue.
"I'm thirsty," I say.
"I'll call the nurse," Jimmy walks out, placing the book he had been flipping through back on his chair. As he leaves, I sit up. Quickly, I work to remove my IV which feeds me fluids. I also feel a feeding tube feeding into my nose which I also tear out. I stop the heart rate monitor before taking it off of me along with multiple other machines and hooks I'm tied up to. I attempt to stand but fall down easily, my legs aching and my stomach burning. I fall to my knees, yelping in pain before easing myself back up onto the bed where I sit, legs dangling off. My whole body hurts and it's draining my energy to hold myself up however I do it anyway. I look over and see what book Jimmy was reading before I freeze.
It was no ordinary book....
My diary!
I hiss in anger, rolling my eyes.
Oh well, I'm going to a psych hospital anyway I guess so what's a little more crazy? No difference.
I look down through my heavy eyelids to see what I look like.
Of course, a mess.
A classic short sleeved hospital down covers my body, bandages covering the rest of my arms and legs, thicker on my wrists.
I guess my semi colon made a WHOLE lot of difference to my suicidal mindset.
I reach down to Jimmy's bag which is beside his chair and take out my phone throwing it under the covers as the door opens again, Jimmy walking in with a nurse who holds a cup of water. She isn't happy to see me say up as she instantly rushes over, flapping and making me lie back down before handing Jimmy a cup of ice water, a clear plastic straw sticking out of it.
"Ev, you can't take the tubes off," He sighs as the nurse hooks me back up to all of the machines, putting in a new cannula and connecting me back to the IV before fixing back my feeding tube and tucking my covers over my body. I use this opportunity to move the phone under my gown. It rests on the bandages around my stomach and I relax, sighing. Once the nurse has left, I speak.
"You're reading my journal," I state.
"Yes. Yes I am. Why didn't you talk to me?" I raise an eyebrow.
"You really think it's that easy?" He sighs, shaking his head. It's only then I notice how pale he is, the dark lines under his eyes and the permanent seeming frown on his face, the stubble growing on his face, making him look a lot older. He looks like a ghost.
"How long was I out?" I ask.
"Five days," his hand brushes across his forehead.
"Oh, cool," I say casually.
"No. Not cool. It's not bloody cool when you have your family panicking that you'll never wake up. It is not in any way 'cool', Everleigh!" He almost yells. I flinch.
"Get out," I speak normally.
"No. I'm not going anywhere. You can't avoid this anymore!" I growl.
"I'm asking calmly. Get out, now," I mutter angrily.
"This is so selfish, you know that? You're hurting all of us to make yourself feel better. We're not letting you do this! We never will because we care and love you! Please, Ev!" Tears roll down his face and he attempts to hug me.
"I thought I had lost you," He whimpers. I don't let him get close enough for a hug, pushing him away.
"I wish everyone had 'lost me'" I roll my eyes.
"Don't say that," I sigh.
"Why not? Is it too true for you? I don't care, Jimmy. I don't care anymore. I want to die. I want it all to stop. I want to be left to my own devices and left to destroy myself if I want because I'm done acting ok. I'm done being normal. I'm not ok or normal and I've been waiting for someone to notice but nobody does because as long as I'm smiling they think I'm ok and they've cured me when in reality, inside I'm just breaking apart more and more each day," I yell all of this, tears rolling down my face.
"It's all bullshit!'' I shout at him.
"Get the hell out of my room, now!" I yell, rolling over so I'm glaring at the wall. Finally, after a moment, the door slams and I'm left in peace to cry.
That's what I do. Tears roll down my face in anger, loss and so many more emotions.
I'm broken.
I know that.
But all I can do now is let myself be broken as I allow my body to pass out of exhaustion again in the silent and lonely room, my only company being the killer in my mind.
Myself.

"But I love her and she can't go!" I hear a young child's voice yell, waking me up instantly.
"Maya, this is what's best for Ev. We've got to do what we can to help her now... she has to go away to recover," Jack speaks to her in his deep American voice.
"It's for her," Sam says, his voice cracking sadly.
"But she was so happy... she got her tattoo!" She whimpers, her voice muffled slightly.
"I know... we thought that too," I sit up slowly, my feeding tube irritating me.
"I'm sorry, Maya," I say, tears welling up in my eyes.
"I'm sorry jack and Sam too," I wipe my eyes.
"Oh, Ev..." they say sadly.
"Where am I going?" Sam sighs, knowing to be straight with me.
"There's a ward about an hour away. They have good results and are pretty professional. They can help us,"  I sigh.
"Ok," I give up arguing.
"Thank you," I ignore him.
"Where's Jimmy?" I ask.
"He's at home," I nod.
"Summer?" I miss my baby...
"With him," I nod.
"Can he bring her, please?" Jack scratches his arm, looking away awkwardly before talking then answering.
"Sam, can you take Maya to the cafe, please?" He nods.
"But I want to stay!" She protests.
"We're going home now. Say bye to Ev, you'll see her soon!" He says and with a sigh, she complied. She hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek, telling me she loves me before slinking out miserably with Sam.
"Jack?" He nods.
"Jimmy said he can't see you like this... he's not visiting until you've gained some weight and are more.... okay," he whispers. I nod.
I get it. I'm too fucked up for him. He doesn't want me anymore now I'm broken," I nod, ignoring the tears begging to break through. My fury pushes them back.
"It's not tha-" I cut him off instantly.
"Yes it is," I shrug.
"Ev-"
"No. Fuck off. I'm done talking abut it," fight the fury. I have to fight it. I'm struggling though, as it battles against me, slowly taking over. My hands begin to scratch at my leg bandages beneath the covers angrily as I see red. I give up fighting it.
"GET OUT!" I scream, making Jack jump violently.
"I-I'm sorry," he says worriedly.
"GET OUT!" I scream and he jumps up.
"I-I'll get a nurse...." he states before running out. I stand up and pace near my IV pole angrily before finally, I flip and punch the wall furiously over and over until my knuckles bleed. I sob.
"I'm sorry," I scream at nobody, tears running down my face.
"Everleigh, calm down," a young nurse stands at the door.
"Fine," I growl when I notice she has a sedative injection in her hand.
"I'm sorry," I say, noticing Jack behind her.
"It's ok," he says.
"When am I being transferred?" I ask quietly, sitting on the bed and pulling the thin sheet over my shaky legs.
"Tomorrow morning. 10am," the nurse says for him.
"Okay," I say.
"We'll take you home to pack and then head there," I nod.
"Ok," I sigh. I give up fighting, glancing at the clock to see it's already 9.30pm.
"I'm going to sleep," I say quietly and Jack nods, the nurse leaving with a quaint nod.
"Good," she states.
"It'll be ok," Jack says and I nod, asking for some headphones before taking out my phone. He sighs, knowing I shouldn't have it but hands me his small earphones which I thank him for, plugging them into my phone and shuffling my misery playlist.
The first song is Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade.
"I'm sorry," I say once more before closing my eyes and drifting off almost instantly...

"Everleigh, Wake up," I groan.
"Why?" I whine as a calm male nurse helps sit me up.
"We need to run a final blood test here," I sigh, glancing at the clock with squinted eyes as the young man turns my arm and shifts a bandage slightly to insert the butterfly needle into my vein.
It's 2am and I'm tired. I look around and notice Sam slumped across tree chairs beside my bed, snoring lightly in his sleep. My monitor beeps quietly.
"Is that his service dog?" The man, Dan- as his name badge states-, asks me in a low voice. Instantly, I sit up more and turn to see my baby lying on the floor, asleep.
"She's mine," I say, instantly whispering towards her to wake up. She slowly stands before turning to notice me. Her ears perk up, tail wagging and just as the needle is removed from my arm, she leaps up onto the bed with me.
"My baby," I say as she licks my face and whispers excitedly.
"Awh," The young man says before leaving. I stand silently, Summer attempting to follow. I let her. As I search the room for sharps, I stay quiet.  Finally, in a corner, I find my backpack and take a couple of the sharpest badges off. I silently slip them in between my chest bandages before climbing back into bed, yawning. I turn and see Sam's eyes open slowly.
"You ok?" He asks groggily and I nod.
"Thank you," I say, pointing at Summer who has curled up on my legs. He nods, using a hand to brush at his stubble. It's only in the faint light I notice how damaged he is. His eye sockets are hollow, bags sticking out violently, his stubble is firm and clear, eyeballs bloodshot and lips chapped where he's chewed on them. I also notice he's wearing long sleeves. He never does.
"Sam?" He looks at me inquisitively.
"Roll up your sleeves," I say.
"Why?" I shake my head as he bows his.
"Just do it," I say, numb. He does, slowly.
"I'm sorry. I did this," I say, looking at the two slightly deep marks on his forearm in amongst many years old scars.
"It's not you," I shake my head.
"It is. I know it is. Don't do it, please," I say sadly. He nods.
"I'm sorry," I shake my head.
"Don't be. I think you'll notice I've done a little worse," I gesture at my bandages, letting out a dry cough.
"I heard about my transfer," Sam bows his head.
"Yeah," I nod.
"It's ok. I get it. I'm going to use this opportunity well. To recover properly. This is a wake up call for me. I'm going to come home a better person," Sam smiles brightly.
"That's amazing, Ev!" He exclaims, standing and hugging me.
"I have my family to get well for," he nods.
"You can do this!" He smiles.
"I've decided not to make you have a person beside you 24/7. You don't need a bodyguard. If you're really ready to recover you can have that power, if you are ready?" I nod, excited my plan has worked.
"Thanks. Yeah. I'm ready for this!" I say before fake yawning and lying back down slowly.
"Tired?" Sam asks and I nod.
"Very," I say.
"Well, you should rest up. We're up at 9am to leave at 9.20 so you gotta be ready," I nod.
"Ok, thanks!" I say before turning over and staring at the opposite wall.
My lack of tiredness is gonna make this a long ass night...