Problem Kid

Chapter 89

After sitting and watching TV for a while, we finally decide we're ready for bed. I head upstairs with Jimmy and grab some pyjamas out of one of the many boxes scattered around the bedroom.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom, I need a wee," I inform him before heading in there alone and dropping my clothes onto the floor. I pull my shorts and underwear down and sit on the toilet, staring directly ahead tiredly as I do what I need to do. It's nice not having the lock the door and worry about anyone walking in, I think to myself. When I'm done, I wipe myself and look down to pull my shorts and underwear off before freezing. There's blood in my underwear. And not a tiny amount either. It's like I've got the start of my period but... I can't have? I'm pregnant, right? I stare down in shock before I finally grasp what's going on and let out a quiet gasp, tears welling in my eyes.

Am I really having a miscarriage? Right now? Did I do too much heavy lifting or did I stress myself out too much? But I barely carried anything without help... I let out a small sob as the tears begin to flow. I don't know what to do. I didn't know whether I wanted this or not just a few minutes ago but suddenly it's all being taken away and I know that I'm not happy with this. I don't want to lose it. I think... I want to be a mum?

I put my head into my hands and begin to sob. It only takes a second before Jimmy is at the door, knocking. When I don't reply, he opens it and comes rushing over to me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks in a panic. I say nothing, pointing down to my underwear as I cry. His face fills with dread for a moment before suddenly he snaps into action.

"Come on, we're getting into the car and going to the hospital," He demands. I look up at him with blurry eyes full of tears and nod.

"I'll get Summer ready, you get yourself ready. Meet me downstairs, I'll start the car," He quickly kisses me on the forehead before rushing out of the bathroom. It takes me a moment before I kick into action. When I do, I go fast. I quickly pull my clothes back on, stuffing a wad of toilet paper into my underwear because I haven't unpacked the box with my leftover pads in it yet. I flush the toilet and wash my face and hands before making my way downstairs, my face blank. When I get outside, Jimmy is already in the car and I can see Summer in the backseat with her vest on. I make my way over and the second I'm inside, Jimmy begins driving.

"It could be nothing, it could be alright," he says. I can't tell if he's trying to convince me or himself. We get to the hospital quickly and Jimmy guides me into the A&E, sitting me down in a chair over in the waiting area before making his way over to the reception desk to presumably fill them in on what's happening and get me checked in. What's even the point of being here? I'm bleeding. I'm losing this baby, they can't stop that. It's too late. I sit and cry, Summer's head on my lap. People are staring at me but I don't care. They don't understand. When Jimmy comes back, he has a face full of fear and sadness. I can see he's holding back his own tears. He wanted this more than I knew...

"They said it'll probably be a short wait, it's not that busy today. It'll be okay, we can find out what's happening," he tries to reassure me but I shake my head and look up at him with anger as the tears stream down my face.

"I'm bleeding, Jimmy. This is it. We're losing this baby, they can't stop this. They can't do anything," I half shout. Even more people are looking now and it makes me even angrier. Jimmy doesn't respond. He looks down at the floor in silence.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I just don't know anymore. I didn't know what I wanted until now but... I don't want this..." I whisper. He wraps his arm around me.

"It's okay. It's scary... it's scary for me so I can't imagine what it's like for you. Do you want me to message Sam or Jack?" He seems helpless. I shake my head.