Problem Kid

Chapter 102

When Jimmy gets back, we're all sat anxiously waiting for news. He walks in and sits beside me, placing Summer's bag down along with a full bag of life of our personal items and finally, he puts a small blanket and pillow in my lap. I thank him and ask what else he brought as I dig through Summer's bag and sort her out a bowl of food and a bowl of water.

"I got your clothes, a spare change for myself, phone chargers, my laptop, some snacks and some board games as a bit of a distraction," he says, moving things around in the bag to show me. I place Summer's bowls on the floor and she eagerly digs into her food. I feel bad, she was clearly hungry and it's way past her dinner time.

"Thanks, babe," I tell him, giving him a kiss. I gather my change of clothes from the bag and excuse myself to the toilet to get changed. Jimmy knew exactly what to bring. Some baggy joggers and an oversized t-shirt with a sports bra and a pair of his boxers that I had stolen because they were so comfy. I get changed quickly and wash my face in the sink to get all of the dried up tear stains off. I feel so much better after doing that. When I head back into the room, a doctor is just leaving. I sit down and give Jimmy a questioning look.

"They've said everything is going well and the operation is almost finished. She had a bit of a dip during surgery but it was easily sorted out and she's doing well. They're just finishing up and will close everything and get her into recovery. She should be in a ward in an hour or two and we will we be allowed in to see her." I nod and smile slightly.

"Well that's good that she's doing well," I say, looking over at Sam and Jack. They nod, their faces still worried but clearly much more relieved.

"They're also going to reduce her sedation once she's out. She's got a cast on her leg and on her arm, they asked what colour she wanted. We said green, of course. And she's had her chest tube removed too," Jack continues on from what Jimmy said. I nod.

"That's good, that's really good," I say. I look over at Sam who is still in his semi dissociative state. I give Jimmy a nudge and nod towards Sam. He gives me a questioning look and I nod towards the door. When he still looks confused, I sigh and stand up.

"Sam, let's go outside," I say, looking down at him. He looks up at me blankly but nods. As Sam stands up and begins to put on his coat, I text Jimmy slyly and tell him to try and speak with Jack about everything and give him some emotional support. After the message sends, I look up at Jimmy who gives me a subtle nod. I grab my hoodie from the bag and throw it on, leading Sam out of the room. As we leave, I tell Jimmy to keep Summer with him as she's asleep on the floor and I don't want to disturb her. He agrees and I shut the door, walking beside Sam out of the resus area. We stay silent until we get outside, finding a bench to sit on. I breathe in the fresh air and feel much more comfortable. Though it's cold out here, the air is so much less clinical feeling than inside the hospital.

"What's going through your head?" I ask Sam quietly. He shrugs. "Come on, let's talk. I know you're not okay and I can tell you're dissociating a lot right now. Your head is probably running at a mile a minute so let's talk, okay?" I speak gently, not wanting to pressure him but wanting to let him know that he can speak if he needs to.

"I just... I just don't know how to cope with all this. I want to cope in all of the wrong ways even though I've been recovered for so long. But I know I can't." I nod.

"You can't and you know that, it's good that you can recognise your progress too. How are you wanting to cope?" He sighs.

"The thoughts to hurt myself are the strongest they've been in over a decade. I... I had thoughts whenever you were so unwell but I knew I had to stay strong for Maya. But this time I haven't got her to stay strong for and to keep distracted. And it's like a huge barrier has been knocked down." I listen to him silently, staring ahead at the car park.