Problem Kid

Chapter 29

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE

Two weeks later

The 8am bell chimes out, waking me up and leaving me groggy. I sit up with a small growl before turning to my dog who is on the other side of the small bed. I pet her gently, brushing my other hand through my hair which is a black mess. Reluctantly, I stand and change from my pyjamas to my ward clothes. With another yawn, I brush through my hair and use my compact mirror that comes with my highlighter to put a bit of makeup on.
Concealer, foundation, powered, highlighter, black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, black mascara, black lipstick and done. I then crack out 50 step ups against my bed in a few minutes before heaving my dizzy and aching body over to my dog and the drawers. I take out her red patch covered harness, slipping it over her body. She licks my hand as I clip her leash on and unfold my chair, which is in the corner of the room. I put her bag on the back before reaching under my bed where the sharp objects and alcohol is. I take out a small razor blade I got from Alex, a friend in here, roll up my left sleeve and use it to make 4 new marks on my battered wrist. The deep incisions hurt but the pain feels good and allows me to calm down, like a heroine addict getting his fix. I then get some tissue and use it to stop the blood. I take out my small first aid kit and bandage the newest cuts to keep them protected. The blades are moved and I bend a bobby pin into a sharp stick, placing it on my dresser to deter the nurses. After placing my blade back in its hidden place and throwing the bloody tissue in the bottom of my bin, I sit in my chair and wheel myself into the halls which are busy with nurses and patients going to the canteen. The clock on the wall states that it's 8.25 so I call over a young looking nurse who is just wandering the halls to help out some of the weaker patients. She comes to my side and as I point to Summer, she knows where to take me. I follow her down the halls as she asks me about how I am. I give the blandest answers, of course, following her out of a small door before toileting Summer and going back inside. Even though it's spring and is a 'warm' day, I'm still freezing cold and my lips chatter for a while after I'm back inside. I shiver all the way to the canteen where the nurse leaves me and I go over to my group of friend's at their table. Alex already has my tray in place and I sarcastically thank him before moving from my chair into the space on the bench beside him, Summer sitting under the table.
Alex is the 'leader' of our group. He has dirty blonde hair which is slightly longer than ear length and normally brushed to one side. His piercing ice blue eyes compliment the blonde, instantly charming everyone along with his baby smooth skin and generally gorgeous appearance. He leans over and kisses my cheek as I sit, making me smile. Me and the also 18 year old anorexia and self harm patient have an unspoken relationship bond.
Across from me is Mayson who is a generally quiet 19 year old girl. She's in for bulimia and looks fragile, her small frame not the skinniest in here but definitely small. Much smaller than my fat body. Her long brown hair lies in its naturally straight and silky form halfway down her back. She has plain brown eyes however they are slightly glazed over with the sadness and pain of someone who is so depressed it's almost impossible to see any light. She picks at her pancakes, silent.
Beside her is Carla who is only 16 however no more juvenile units can help her. She is a relentless anorexia patient and has a lowest weight of only 56lb at. 5"6 and 15 years of age. She has a skeletal figure with naturally pitch black hair that is in thick curls around her mocha skinned face. With captivating hazel eyes, she's a natural beauty. She has a kind but very hidden personality which she only shows to our group. She hardly touches her food, shifting as much of it as she can onto the girl next to Alex's plate.
Her name is Tia and she's an 18 year old in for binge eating and purging. She has a pretty thick but not incredibly overweight frame. Her rounded face has pink cheeks and hold her bright emerald eyes which are so green, they take everyone away. Her mahogany brown hair is only shoulder length and she keeps it slightly waved in a cute way. She is the light of the group, her personality so bright and happy it can lighten up anyone's day.
I copy Carla, moving most of my food to her. She thanks me, inhaling the food happily, no care for her designated calorie counting food diet, set by her doctor.
"How is everyone?" Alex asks, stroking my thigh gently.
"Horrible,"
"Crappy,"
"Shit,"
"I'm fine..."
We all reply, Mayson speaking last in her nervous voice.
"Well, cheer up! It's our day on TV so we get to watch Bad Education together!" Alex smirks and I roll my eyes.
"Babe," He looks me in the eye before looking down at my fork. I notice I had subconsciously slipped a piece of fruit onto it and it's partway up from the plate. I instantly drop it, feeling ashamed. I sigh, taking Tia's empty tray in exchange for my still half full one.
"I'm sorry," I say to Alex and he shakes his head.
"Don't let it happen again. You could've eaten. That's bad! You'll get fat again. That's not what you want!" He growls and I bow my head.
"I'm sorry," I whisper again, a tear falling from my eye. He apologises, hugging me as the rest of the group find ways to hide their food until finally, we have empty plates and are allowed to leave. I stand quickly, moving to my chair where I take Summer by the leash, putting it around my waist before following the others to the door where we are all checked to make sure we aren't smuggling food. I then check the time and see there's half an hour of breakfast left.
"It's half an hour until free time so I'm.. erm... going to my room," I say to Alex. He shakes his head.
"No. Come to mine," he says and I sigh.
"Fine," I say before following him down the halls and past the other long term stay rooms for actually sick patients, not the mentally fucked ones like us. We get to his room and say bye to the others before heading inside where I let Summer off leash. She goes to her normal spot on the end of his bed and he turns on his dimmed down multicolour Christmas lights which decorate the room. I glance at all of his band posters, admiring them happily as I sit on his bed. He throws off his jacket as I do the same, sitting on his bed, legs pointing down at the end. As I sit, he opens them, patting the empty space and I sigh.
"Babe?" I sigh again.
"Ok," I say, moving into the space and leaning back against him. He plays with my hair as I use my tongue to fidget with my snake bites from the inside. I place the bar between my teeth, moving it about in boredom as the boy plays with my hair. Suddenly, he turns me around, his lips instantly crashing against mine I'm not prepared and attempt to pull away however he doesn't let me, only gripping me tighter by my arms. It causes pain as his fingers and nails dig deep into the flesh and a tear rolls down my face. He ignores it, only pulling away for air before he pulls me with him to the door where he pulls down the curtains and puts a chair against it, all the while holding me in place and kissing me when he can. I try to protest however he only digs his nails in deeper, growling at me to stop resisting in anger until finally I do, allowing him to kiss me. Suddenly, one hand leaves my arm and I hear a zip undo. I begin to shake and try to beg him not to however he doesn't listen.
"Are you still on your period?" He stares deep into my eyes. I shake my head.
"Not had it for a few months..." I choke out and as he throws me down onto the bed, all I can do is cry and sob 'no' as he prepares himself, sliding down my trousers and underwear against my protest. I try to pull away more however he only scratches and slaps me, holding my tighter and eventually leaning his full low but still heavy (compared to my body strength) weight on me. I cry in floods now, immensely scared and traumatised however the sounds my sobbing makes is muffled by his hand and suddenly, I feel a sharp pain as he smashes into me, his body crashing against mine. I feel helpless as he uses me for his enjoyment, his bed shaking beneath us as he hurts me physically and mentally. Tears flood from my eyes as I just will for it to be over so I can just be left alone.

Never before has a time so small as 15 minutes felt so long as 15 hours. Finally, he gets off of me, kissing me once more before getting up, cleaning off and simply walking out. I lay on the bed sobbing for a good ten minutes before finally, I haul myself over to Summer who is cowering in the corner. My body is weak and I collapse on the floor beside her, a mess. My arms open and she leaps into them, seeking my comfort however all I can give now are tears.
Nothing can express the pain, the violation and the horror I've just experienced and not even my angel of a dog can help me now.
This is what I repeat in my head, disgusted at myself as I wheel slowly back to my room where I slam the door and fall into bed. I slide under my thick duvet and cry into my pillow angrily.
I hate myself so much for letting this happen and for letting myself be so weak.
If I had maybe screamed before he had done it someone could have helped me or I could've kicked him or anything however I didn't. I hadn't. It had happened and now I have to live with myself being a disgusting mess.
I can't help but to think this whilst my dog curls up beside me and we both fall asleep, my tears soaking her and myself. My agony violently present in the hollow and empty room.

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EDITED