"Heyyyyy my little bean of emo and bisexual-ness?" Jimmy engulfs me in a hug as he comes out of his classroom.
"Did you go back to class after I left?" I shake my head.
"First, loosen that hug please, owww. Thank you! Second, Mr G caught up with me and wanted to know why I've been avoiding him. Let's just say he also saw my cuts so that was a rubbish chat," I laugh, gently tugging on Summer's leash as we begin to walk.
"I must say, that black eye really does suit you!" I punch his arm gently. I had taken my smudged makeup off to see a huge back eye and a slightly swollen upper lip.
"I look like a freaking plum, Jimmy. I'd hardly call that 'suiting me', mate" he laughs at me as we reach the canteen.
"Come, let's get you some food," I sigh.
"Jimmy I'm-"
"Not hungry, I know. But you're still eating. You need food Everleigh. I know it's hard and I know anorexia is a horrible battle but I believe in you. You can win this. I promise, it just takes a lot of time and effort. Please eat? Even if it's nothing big. Please?" He flutters his eyelashes and does those famous puppy dog eyes causing me to sigh in annoyance.
"Fineeeee but I'm only having some toast, ok?" He mockingly cheers, dragging me to the queue and buying me two prices of toast with butter. The warm liquid is sinking into the grilled bread, causing it to become soft and golden. My favourite type of toast.
260 calories for both pieces. I sigh, pushing the intrusive thoughts from my mind and taking the food from Jimmy as we walk out of the canteen. He tries to keep the mood lighthearted, chatting happily with me as we walk whilst all I can focus on are the pieces of toast in my hands. Small crumbs are littering my fingers, a smear of oily butter coating my thumb-tip. With a small sigh and closed eyes, I take a small bite from the corner of the slice. I hear Jimmy pause for a split second before rubbing my arm gently and continuing to talk. I smile, slowly taking more and more bites until I'm staring down at crumbs on my hands.
"Good Job, babes," I look up at Jimmy, smiling.
"Thank you Jimbo,"
"Never call me that again or I'll be forced to disown you, ok?" I laugh before holding my hands up in defence.
"Alright, Alright! I love youuuuu," I nestle into his chest and he sighs, brushing my hair gently with his thumb.
"Everleigh?" I look up. At Jimmy, who is blushing.
"Can we... talk?" I begin to notice the hunger in my stomach fade and instantly feel sick.
"Can... I need the toilet. Talk after?" Jimmy nods.
"Sure," I rush into the girls bathrooms, leaving Summer outside, and claim a stall. As I loved my self to the floor I hear two toilets flush and their stall doors open.
"Yeah, so as I was saying, that new girl look so pudgy! It's gross! She has to be at least a size 12. Ew!" I gulp. Size 8 but still... did I look that big?
"I know right! She needs to loose some weight! Gross! I swear, she's either fat or pregnant," the two girls laugh before leaving the bathroom. I instantly break down in tears. Fat? I know. And that toast isn't going to help me. I bend over the toilet bowl using one hand to hold back my hair and the other one to thrust two fingers down my throat. I begin to retch slightly. I push deeper before coughing and throwing up into the toilet bowl. I do this until all of my stomach is emptied and I feel content with myself. After a moment, I fall backwards, leaning against the wall. After a moment of silent tears, I put down the toilet seat and fumble for the flush button. I reach into my bag and take out a piece of gum, chewing it for a moment as I unlock the door and wash my hands. Before I leave, I spit it into the bin and tidy my hair.
"Hey, erm... can we talk?" I nod at Jimmy who is holding Summer's leash. He passes it to me and I clip it back onto my waistband.
"Thanks. What's up?" My heart begins to race.
"Well... since I've met you I've known that I liked you. You seemed so fascinating and beautiful yet so mysterious. I wanted to figure you out. I knew you were hurting and wanted to help heal you. I wanted to gain you into my life," I tilt my head upwards towards Jimmy.
"I liked you too. You seemed like the only person I was going to find who understood me in this school. And for some reason it felt so easy to open up to you... I'm so glad you're my friend," I see his face drop and realise.
"Oh Jim..." I reach out to his hand however he pushes me away.
"Just stop. I knew there was no chance. I know I'm not loveable. Just... leave me alone," suddenly, he turned on his heel and ran back down the hall and into the boys toilets. I freeze, tears rolling down my face. Summer gives me a POTS alert however I ignore it, walking around the quad until I'm outside Mr Gray's room. After a moments hesitation whilst Summer paws desperately at my leg, I stopped staring at him reading his book through the window and reached a fist up to knock on the door however all I could do was feebly tap the door before my vision fading out and I felt my body falling...
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"Oh for fu-" I tear my eyes open.
"Language, Everleigh," I sigh and close my eyes again before opening them once more and seeing that I'm in the corner of Mr G's room.
"Summer caught you. She barked and pawed at my door until I came out. I put you there," normally I would freak out if someone touched me whilst unconscious however knowing it was someone I had trust in, I relaxed.
"POTS?" I nod, even though I'm not sure anymore.
"It's getting worse," I whisper.
"Didn't you see the doctor?" My teacher takes a seat on the floor beside me as I sit myself up against the wall.
"Yeah. He said to use a wheelchair but... I don't want to. People will judge," my head is tilted upwards by a hand.
"Don't let that stop you. You need to start using the chair, ok. Your health comes before people's opinions," I sigh before nodding.
"Ok," we sit in silence for a moment and I begin to think of Jimmy. Is he ok? What have I done. I've hurt the person I love the most. It wasn't that I didn't like him. I love him. How can I have been stupid enough as to not see that's what he meant?
"Why are you crying?" I look up through fuzzy eyes.
"Jimmy..." with a deep intake of breath I explain the whole conversation.
"It's not your fault. Talk to him. He'll understand," I nod.
No he won't. Why would he want to even see you now? I bet he didn't in the first place anyway. Who would, ew.
I shake my head. Intrusive thoughts.
Come on. You know how to make me stop
I sigh.
"I need the bathroom," he looks at me inquisitively.
"You said that you just went?" I gulp.
"Well I need to go again," he takes my wrist in his hand as I begin to get up and I wince. He let's go and apologises.
"Come on, Ev. Don't do that,"
Tell him to mind his own business!
I turn to him with a rage burning behind my blue eyes.
"Shut up! There's nothing else I can do. Can't you see, it helps me! You'll never understand!" I grab my bag and dash out of the room, Summer following quickly whilst my teacher calls after me. I only pause at the bathroom to open the door and rush into a cubicle. I sit Sum facing the door and rustle through my bag, pausing once I had my small purse. I unzip it quickly, emptying its contents onto the bathroom floor. Blades from sharpeners, art scalpels and razors lay on the floor in front of me. I take one of the sharpest of them and tug my sleeve up, dragging it across my wrist. Blood instantly leaks from the slit on my wrist however I don't even wince whilst making the next 7 cuts up my arm.
"Everleigh!" Mr Gray knocks on the stall door and I gasp.
"Go away! I'm fine! Leave me alone!" I hurriedly thrust all of the blades back into the small black purse, cutting my thumb accidentally in the process. The small pieces of metal clink together as I zip it up.
"Everleigh. I know you've already done it. Can you please just come out?" I throw my purse back into the bottom of my bag and begin to use tissue to attempt to stop the blood coming from my arm.
"I'm fine! Go away," I begin to cry as I press down harder on my bleeding cuts.
"Please, Everleigh. Open the door and let me see your arm. Now," I whimper gently at the firmness of his voice as I stand and Summer turns, instantly burying her head into my side. After a moment, I hide my bad arm behind my back and unlock the stall door.
"Everleigh, show," he already has his first aid kit open on the floor.
"Fine!" I reveal my arm and he breaths in sharply however he doesn't say anything. He simply cleans and bandages my arm before allowing me to tug down my sleeve and pick up my bag.
"Pass me the blades," I shake my head.
"Everleigh, the only way to get better is to accept help!" I sigh in annoyance and take out the purse, handing it to him. He opens it and stares at the 20+ blades in awe before closing it and throwing it into his green kit bag and zipping that up.
"Let's go back to my room," as we leave the bathroom, I bump into someone who grabs my freshly wounded arm causing me to yelp.
"Everleigh? Oh my god no, you didn't?" Jimmy places his hands on my shoulders, staring sadly at my face before clutching me to his chest.
"I'm sorry," I sob into his hoodie and he clings to me tighter.
"I know you couldn't ever like me in that way I shouldn't have-"
"Shut up," I pull my head away and stare up into his ocean eyes.
"I do like you, Jimmy. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jimmy. Don't hate me. I'm so sorry," Jimmy places a finger over my lips to stop me from talking before moving it away and leaning in to me. In an instant, our lips connect and my eyes close. My heart explodes and fireworks light up my body as we kiss. We hold it for a few seconds before gently breaking away. I stare at him for a moment before collapsing into his chest. Once again, my world goes black.
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EDITED
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Problem Kid
Teen Fiction[NEW CHAPTERS RANDOMLY RELEASED] ⚠️⚠️18+ due to mature themes⚠️⚠️ Everleigh has never had a normal life. After losing her father as a young teenager, she fell into the painful routine of self harm and eating disorders, repeatedly checking in and out...
