Problem Kid

Chapter 19

One Month Later

"Hey babe," I kiss Jimmy gently on the cheek as we walk to school, my toast in my hands.
"Mine," he opens his mouth and I give him a bite of it before taking one for myself with a grin.
"Beautiful," I laugh, crumbs falling from my mouth.
"I know," I smirk, calling Summer to my side and feeding her a small treat.
"Drama first?" I gulp, nodding.
"Not fun. Business here. I'll meet you at the class as soon as it ends though, ok?" I nod, thanking him. As we walk along in silence for a moment, I feel his hand slip into mine.
"So... since it's your birthday tomorrow I was wondering if you would like to come out with me and Mum instead of school?" I threw my arms around him.
"YES!" I yell, his hands grabbing my waist and hoisting me into his back so I'm going piggyback. I laugh as he begins to jog down the street, shrieking in fear and excitement.
"Put me downnnnn!" I cry out as he speeds through the school gates, Summer wagging her tail and barking as she darts along beside us. People stare however Jimmy pokes his tongue out, throwing me down, finally, when we reach the office. I land on the sofa and growl at him, pretending to be angry.
"Aww my baby. Do you hate meeeee?" He whispers Ito my ear as his fingertips caress my arm, causing me to squirm.
"NO NO I LOVE YOU OK?!" I leap up and laugh, taking his hand and calling Summer to heel as we walk to my drama class and Wait outside.
"How long until the bell goes?" I murmur.
"Two minutes... you going in?" I nod, kissing his lips quickly before waving and opening the door.
"Hi, Miss!" I place my bags in the corner of the room before turning around to see a cover teacher sitting at the desk.
"Oh, where's Miss?" She glares at me as I slide my hoodie off and stay in my Falling In Reverse shirt since the room is so hot.
"She's on a course and put your battered tree trunk arms away. That's disgusting," I look down at my scars, wincing at the insult.
"Now! It's honestly so pathetic. The whole starve and cut thing. You're still fat and ugly, it doesn't change anything. What's it all for? Attention? Ridiculous. I don't want to see it," I whimper quietly, sliding the black hoodie on and patting Summer's head as we go and sit in the corner. I focus on regulating my breathing, my dog licking my hands and attempting to help calm me.
"Can you stop! Don't play with your dog in school!" I'm too close to a breakdown to argue back so I just stop, tears filling my eyes and my breathing speeding up. I anxiously scratch my arms, not noticing and the teacher rolls her eyes.
"Just get out. You are honestly being ridiculous," my bag is slung on my back and I sprint from the room, rushing down the halls with tears streaming down my face as Sum dodges people to stay beside me.
"Hey, Ev?" I hear Mr Gray however, in my frantic state, I keep running until suddenly I feel myself going down, hard concrete connecting with my body. I don't move from the floor apart from to curl my body in a ball, shielding me from everything and everyone. Summer's tongue and paws attempt to unravel me and calm me down but she is unsuccessful and I stay tightly tensed, even as someone picks my body up and transports it to somewhere soft.
"Everleigh... I'll give you some time..." a soothing voice echos in my mind as I scream into my fists which muffle the sound. After a few minutes, Summer removes me from my ball position and I feel my panic attack growing, my hands clawing at my arms and my face, tears falling and fists colliding with the floor and my body. Summer is unsuccessful at stopping this and runs of as someone else takes my shaking hands in theirs, soothing whispers filling my ears.
"Breathe, Ev. Just breathe," Jimmy mourners softly and I fall into his chest, breaking down to tears and wrapping my weak arms around him.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper.
"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. Something hurt you. Someone. What was it?" I freeze and he notices, gently rubbing my arm.
"You don't have to say yet. Calm down, first," I nod, snuggling into his chest and allowing myself to cry and cry...

"Everleigh? Do you want a drink?" I look up and see Mr Gray standing above me and Jimmy.
"Y-yes please... Just water, please," He nods.
"Here," He hands me a bottle and I thank him, taking it in my shaking hands. Jimmy notices I'm too shaky to open it and so her does it for me, gently feeding the water to me so I don't spill it.
"Do you want to tell us what caused this, Ev?" I gulp and nod, letting out a deep breath as Summer settles on mine and Jimmy's laps.
With a small sigh, I begin to explain the story. The tears return near the start and Jimmy hugs me tighter, both of their faces turning to shock and disgust by the end.
"That is not at all ok! A teacher too?! They should know better!" I bow my head, ashamed.
"Ev... it's ok," I shake my head.
"She's right," he instantly turns to rage and Mr Gray walks over to us, sitting beside me and speaking.
"That is in no way true, Everleigh. She is in no way correct here so don't you dare believe her. She's getting reported to the headteacher, Alright?" I whimper.
"Ok..." the two hug me, allowing me to cry a little bit before Sam stands up.
"I'm going down to the head's office now, ok? You can stay here for now," I nod.
"Sam?" He turns at the door.
"Thank you... for everything...." with a small smile, he responds.
"It's not problem. Don't thank me. I just want to help you and keep you safe and happy," he says before leaving.
"You ok, Ev?" Jimmy gently squeezes me with a small smile.
"Not really but it'll be ok," I smile slightly, snuggling into his warm chest which smells like the new Million aftershave I got him last month for his birthday.
"You ready for your birthday?" I look up at him.
"No. I was trying to forget about it. I hate my birthday," Summer licks my face quickly before settling in my lap.
"Aw Damn, babe! What about the huge party?" I sit up abruptly.
"Party?!" I gasp, my heart racing and face filling with dread.
"I'm only joking, it's ok," I calm down a bit, the anxiety slowly leaving me.
"We'll have a calm day, ok? Just you, me and mum. It'll be great!" I nod, thanking him.
"That would be great," I say, just as Sam returns, the headteacher behind him with a Furious look on her face which eases only slightly as she takes a seat near me and greets us.
"Hello you two. So, I have been told by Mr Gray here what happened but I need it on paper if that's ok?" I gulp, nodding. My anxiety is racing and my breath hitches, causing Summer to settle in a different position on my lap in comfort as my breathing increases. Nobody notices however, as I take the piece of paper and a pen to a desk where I turn my back to everyone and begin to write down the events, tears pooling in my eyes. Summer tries to alert me to take my meds however I ignore her until I've finished writing. I then excuse myself and grab my bag, calling her to my side and rushing to the bathrooms where I sit on the floor, head in hands. As someone enters and gives me a weird look, I move myself into a cubicle where I allow myself to cry. I need it. To break down and let out all of the pain I feel internally. The struggle. It's the worst I've felt in months. I had only just learnt to feel more comfortable with my scars and out of all people, a teacher had to ruin that. It makes me want to relapse. However I push the urges away, thinking of what I have to fight for. I take out my old notebook and flip to a blank page where I start writing reasons not to do it. As I open my pencil case, I take out my sharpener and tear out the blade, placing it on the floor in front of my crossed legs. I then begin to write

Reasons Not To Relapse

- I'm two months and 3 weeks clean. Don't ruin it.
- Mum, Sam And Jimmy wouldn't want me to
- I'm better
- I don't want to go back to hospital

I sigh. It's not helping. With a sudden surge of anger, I have torn the page out and am shredding it up, paper flying everywhere. I furiously gather the pieces, throwing them into the bin and picking up the sharp metal. I glance down at it, weighing up my options before bringing it down to my arm. At the last minute I pause and with a frustrated cry, I throw it down the toilet and flush.
This isn't what I should be doing. I'm better and I'm going to stay that way, right?
I don't know...
I sigh, standing up and pacing the short cubicle until the bell goes once again and everyone returns to class before stepping out and walking up to the mirror. I take out my makeup bag and remove the mess on my face, preparing to correct it. Thick black eyeliner, dark mascara and black eye shadow. Black lip and a pale highlighter. Done. I then call Summer to stand up and grab my bag before swinging the door open and colliding with Jimmy.
"Baby..." I roll my sleeves up.
"It's fine. Nothing. Ok?" He nods, smiling.
"I'm so proud. You're so so so strong I love you so much!" I sob, falling into his arms and taking his hand in mine as we head down the halls.

This is my life.

It may be messy and it may not be perfect but I love it.

Nobody can change that.

Not ever.

-----------------

EDITED