Problem Kid

Chapter 91

Once Jimmy gets home, he helps me get started on dinner. We decide to do sea bass with grilled asparagus and rosemary potatoes. He peels and chops the potatoes whilst I get started on the sea bass. As I begin laying out sheets of foil on the countertop, I talk to Jimmy.

"How do you feel about everything with the baby?" I ask. I feel bad for not asking his opinion sooner. He looks up, continuing to peel the potatoes.

"What do you mean?" I begin brushing oil onto the sheets of foil as I respond.

"Well, everything really. How do you feel about having a kid? And the risks? All of the changes and everything?" He's silent for a moment before he responds.

"It's a lot of change I guess but I don't think it's necessarily a bad change. I feel excited though nervous I guess. Pregnancy is pretty scary and I know it'll be hard on you both physically and mentally so I want to be there and support you through it all. The risks, we will do our best to overcome them. You're strong, Ev. You'll be okay. I didn't know what to think at first, it was so unexpected. We never thought about having a child, you were on birth control and haven't had a period in so long. And I guess everyone's focus has been on other things for a while. Helping you get well, the last few years have been difficult for you and I guess for us too. But seeing how well you're coping says a lot. You've not hurt yourself in so long, you've been doing so well with your eating disorder recovery and you've not drank in so long too. I've noticed since finding out about the pregnancy, you've been trying hard to eat more too. You're already adjusting to motherhood and it's beautiful. I know you've wanted what's best for the baby through everything, even when you weren't sure whether you wanted to keep them. All of your worries were centred around the kid's wellbeing. You were worried about not being a good mum, you were worried about hurting the baby if you did anything to yourself. You were focused on that kid and that's what being a parent should be. You've got that in you. And yeah, sure, I am bricking it. It's scary, I worry about being a good parent but I want this and I see that you do too. We're strong, we can do this. We can go to all sorts of pregnancy groups and parenting classes if that's what helps us to be good parents but I already know that we can do this regardless." I stop what I'm doing part way through him talking and stand there listening. He's so passionate about this and so excited, he's focussed on doing what's right. It's beautiful.

"I don't even know what to say. I couldn't be having this baby with a better man, we're going to do this. And you're right, we can do all sorts of classes and groups, we can learn along the way too. I trust you to help me through this and I hope you trust me to help you too," I walk over to him and he wraps his arms around me. I hug him back tightly.

"I love you. I love this baby. I love our family so much. Come on, let's get dinner going. They'll be here soon," I nod as Jimmy gently pulls away and slides the tray of potatoes into the oven. I turn back to the sea bass, smiling as I lay each fillet of the fish on each slice of foil. I squeeze some lemon juice on each one before seasoning, brushing with oil and folding the foil up to make fish parcels. I place them onto a tray and slide them into the oven. Just as I go to sit down on the sofa, there's a knock on the door.

"I'll get it, you chill in there," Jimmy says, heading to the door.

"HIIII!" Maya shouts, walking into the house first. Sam and Jack say hi to us both as they follow us, giving knowing smiles.

"We just put dinner in the oven, come and sit," I say, moving up on the sofa. Jimmy motions for Sam and Jack to sit down on it as him and Maya sit on the floor.

"We definitely need another sofa," Jimmy says with a laugh. I agree.

"How's the new house so far?" Jack asks.