Behind the smile

After hours

I woke up in the dark tonight once again

The sun is hours away from that horizon stain

I can't get a full night's sleep anymore it seems

I don't ever remember any happy dreams

But the nightmares come

And I remember them

Your ghost still haunts this lonely mind of mine

Leaving it's footprint in my mind

I sit in my chair and play after hours

I enter the gallery and go through the old pictures

As I scroll down, I found thousands pictures of you on my phone

It's sad that you're someone I used to know

Even I'm so far from being close to you,

Out there, I've tried

You're special to me,

It's something I've never tried to hide,

Never have I felt denied

But I'm feeling sad, like someone just died

I wish it wasn't so, wish I never lied

I can't tell you what your heart really feels

I only know my heart is one beat away from being released

From letting free to unreveal beyond my masked disguise 

My head is thinking constantly,
Twenty four hours seven days a week,

It shouldn't come as no surprise

These are the longest hours of my life,

As I desire for the final peek

Hoping that the bottom won't be another losing streak

Life can be so unkind

To live through this pain again and all ups and downs, and its demise

While I contemplate, for another painful compermise

While I know you've heard every single word that I've spoken,

As I speak about our lives, combined.

But maybe you still have questions, and those wonders whys?

I know I still sit here through the night

Sometimes tears they gather from both these eyes, and multiply.

Trying to figure out what is really right.

It's nothing I can even reach to get a grasp, as the tears have left me blind.

Now there is no tear left to cry

Ticking away, as I hear the sands run through the hour glass of time.

I have to hurry before there's nothing left but my past, and the aging lines.

They always last and come to fast.

And In the end, only my love will live to outlast what's been left behind.

And it'll be just another empty memory that was so close to being divine.